AIBU to delay 7yr old DD getting ears pierced until she’s 12

[Whosthebestbabainalltheworld]

DD (7) went to a birthday party today where one of the girls got her ears pierced as a birthday present. Cue the inevitable.

I’ve said not until she’s 12. Am I just totally not with it? I don’t have any massive objections, but I was about that age myself and being totally honest, I think they look a bit cheap on small girls - and for saying that out loud I’m sure I will burn in mumsnet hell.

I was five when I got mine done. Back then, they pierced your ears and then put in small hoops called sleepers. You had to keep turning the hoop to help them heal. I kept them clean and followed the instructions. I thought I looked fab! It always makes me laugh when people act like it's an assault on a child to pierce their ears. What sheltered lives you lead...😂😂😂😂

I had little ruby earrings (not real)

I looked very cute 🥰

But probably horrendous, cheap and common to some on here

I think maybe I just don’t ‘get’ earrings. People say they look ‘cute’… surely the child looks just the same but with some metal/gem stones in their ear? Same for adults I guess.
I find it weird when people say ‘we had it done when ours were 2/3/4 (or whatever) to get it over with’ as though it’s inevitable that they will have them pierced at some point. Many people dont.
Anyway I don’t think they look tacky, or trashy, or cheap, or cute, or pretty. They just look like metal in an earlobe.

*I think maybe I just don’t ‘get’ earrings’

Yeah neither do i, which is possibly why dd didn’t bother with hers til recently

Oh bum

Bold fail

Dd had hers done just before her 10th birthday....After the first few days, she was twisting them herself and now can change them herself no bother .
Had been asking for years so l used it as a reward if she was well behaved and said would have to be end of the school year.
7 is too young imo

My daughter was 9, almost ten. She asked for it. We come from a culture where it's normal for babies to have them pierced. We held off until she asked, said no but finally agreed when we thought she could look after them herself.

Went to a professional piercer who used needles. No fuss and no pain other than a pinch. Healed quickly and well and she wears low key small gold studs. She's able to take them on/off herself and wears acrylic see through studs on sports days.

In hindsight, I'd have waited until she was in high school. Only because it reminds me that she's no longer a little girl anymore. They do look nice though, she really likes them and they don't look tacky.

Maybe get her magnet earrings so she can have the experience of having pieced ears without doing it . Maybe it could be something she wears on the weekend or on social occasions ? I don’t know , but that could be a compromise.

Age 7 here - was made to wait a couple of years to make sure she did actually want them. Perfectly able to clean them morning and night independently (though obviously I keep an eye on it), no infections, happy with tape for activities that she can also put on and remove herself. And most definitely much less 'cheap' looking than the god awful stick on gems she was insistent on wearing!

@Motherofking

Maybe get her magnet earrings so she can have the experience of having pieced ears without doing it . Maybe it could be something she wears on the weekend or on social occasions ? I don’t know , but that could be a compromise.

You can get some lovely clip on earrings these days. Some are nicer than earrings for pierced ears imho! My dd1 wore those for special occasions before getting her ears pierced. Now she has passed them down to dd2 as she has all my old earrings from back in the day when I could be bothered to wear jewellery 😂

People saying 12 is 'too old'...my mum got her ears pierced at 60!! There's no obligation to have anything pierced in life. It's not a rite of passage!

I got mine done at 12. They became infected and I didn't deal well with it at all.

Happy to consent to DD having hers done when she leaves primary school. IF she wants it. Plenty of time for her to stick all the holes in her face that she wants, and I speak as someone who got a new piercing every week at one point!

I'm afraid I will judge you for pressuring your child to get their ears pierced early on, or as a baby. There is no need for that and it's cruel.

In my family it's 13. 13th birthday gift if they want it. My mum, cousins, me and my daughter last year

I find people saying they won’t let their kids get their ears pierced until they’re 15 or 16 pretty loopy. Fwiw I had a friend who had a very controlling mother like that, really didn’t let her do any normal teenage stuff, and all that happened is she got to university and went completely off the rails.

I think 16 is probably my minimum. It’s a body modification and therefore not for children in my mind.

You’re right. Why are people arguing over semantics, we all know OP means earrings on small children looks tacky and is low class. It’s awful, every time I see a kid with them I think what a shame.

It’s awful, every time I see a kid with them I think what a shame.

Me too, it speaks to the judgement and priorities of the parents.

@PuzzledObserver

I think they look icky on little children. I think that’s because I associate adornment with sexuality and therefore not appropriate on prepubescent children.

Go away and take your sick paedophilic views with you. Wearing jewellery does not make children “sexy.” Disgusting.

In my personal opinion, I also think they look tacky on kids. Especially babies.
I come from a culture where its the absolute norm to have them done as a baby. Mine were done at 5, which was deemed too late.
Then again I hate the thought of even cutting my DDs hair and she is nearly 4 with beautiful curls that look messy within 20 mins of leaving the house and it's a chore to maintain but I just don't want to make that decision for her.
I'm very much pro 'wait till they ask' and then try as hard as I can to talk them out of it until they are 16 kinda parent lol
Ultimately if she understands taking care of the peircing/pain/school rules surrounding earrings then there shouldn't be an issue. But in all honesty OP, I'd be the exact same.

Mine asked at age 7. I made her wait until she was 12. Bloody good job too, as it was nothing but whinging, complaining, hating the sensation of them etc. She took them out after two weeks and has never mentioned wanting earrings again

@ChocolateDeficitDisorder

It’s awful, every time I see a kid with them I think what a shame.

Me too, it speaks to the judgement and priorities of the parents.

What? That their priority is supporting their child to understand that it's their body and can choose when to do things with it?

You're her mum, she's only 7, your rules apply. Yanbu.

What? That their priority is supporting their child to understand that it's their body

Why do you think that it's typically girls who get their ears pierced?
Why is adornment a such a big thing with females? You don't have to do much research to see that it's about getting noticed and attracting mates.

If earrings make our children look 'nicer' then why aren't we doing the same with our sons? From a very young age little girls are being encourage and allowed to believe that how they look is important enough to warrant some pain and non-essential surgical intervention.

This is 2021, we're supposed to be treating our children equally and giving them the message that who they are is more important than how they look. When I see a little girl with pierced ears I know that message isn't a priority.

Both of my children were beautiful inside and out - no amount of extra holes and metal bars could have improved on that.

@TyrannosaurusRights

I think 16 is probably my minimum. It’s a body modification and therefore not for children in my mind.

Growing up in a house where a parent is so determined to demonstrate ownership over their child's body that they'd prohibit pierced earlobes until the age of 16 sounds like it would make for a grim existence.

I've got 9 ear piercings and various others, so I'm hardly against it, but I think 12 ish seems sensible. My 6 year old is a boy so is unlikely to ask, but I can't imagine letting him pierce his ears in a years time. Kids that age just aren't sensible enough to look after them properly and be responsible for the necessary aftercare (the main one being - don't mess with them!). Of the piercings I have, it's one of the boring lobe ones which took the longest to heal - there is not necessarily any such thing as an easy piercing.

My niece has just had hers done at 10 and seems pretty sensible with them. So I'd say 10-12 is better.

I think 7 is fine, providing she is sensible enough to clean them herself and remove them independently for PE as school won't do this for her.

I had mine done at 4 and I certainly don't remember it 🤷‍♀️.