AIBU to delay 7yr old DD getting ears pierced until she’s 12

[Whosthebestbabainalltheworld]

DD (7) went to a birthday party today where one of the girls got her ears pierced as a birthday present. Cue the inevitable.

I’ve said not until she’s 12. Am I just totally not with it? I don’t have any massive objections, but I was about that age myself and being totally honest, I think they look a bit cheap on small girls - and for saying that out loud I’m sure I will burn in mumsnet hell.

YANBU if that is your wish. You're the parent and you have the final say.
I would personally let a 7 y/o pierce their ears (maybe not the first time they asked, but after a good while to be sure they wanted it), but it's an individual choice.

When they are old enough to clean and look after the holes,and put the earrings in and remove them themselves

*Not expensive??

Did you mean to be dense? It's bloody obvious what the op mea**ns
*
Pretty sure the OP meant tacky.

I told my daughter 12 years and stuck to it. 12 seems fine, they move up to secondary school and are becoming more 'grown up'.....my daughter never forgot and had them done the minute she was 12. Fair enough....

Mine had them done sged 7 and all was well. Most of their class who wanted them doing had them done that summer. 5 more years is a long time to wait for no real good reason so I've voted yabu.

I told dd1 she could do it in the summer between primary and secondary school ie Year 6 and Year 7. She would have been nearly 12 then. That was last year during lockdown, so didn't happen. She had them done this summer instead, when she was nearly 13. It was just the right time inho.

Dd2 is 9.5 years old and hasn't asked yet. But I will tell her the same thing. They need a good 6 weeks of not taking them out and would need to for school PE lessons, so the summer holidays would be the only time long enough to fit that in imho.

My DD has just had hers done at 11. Most of her friends have had them done and I don't think it looks particularly tacky. My sister reminded me yesterday that I had mine done at 7 !

Id say yes. Her body her choice. If she wants them out then just take them out.

I think this is one of these situations where MN doesn't reflect real life. My eldest had her ears pierced at 8.5 and she was one of the last in her class. She's 14 now and she and many of her friends have a second hole in their lobe now.

Also, describing something which is still embedded in a lot of different cultures as the norma to be 'cheap' is really rude.

Mine had hers done at 6.( now 14) Perfectly capable of managing them ( keeping clean and changing them)
Most of her friends had them done between then and end of primary
Personally dont see the big deal, not like they’re wearing pat butcher chandeliers,
But it’s your daughter so your decision

What's magical about 12? What changes between now and then?

I was 6. I begged and begged and my parents said 12 but relented at the beginning of the summer holidays after I could demonstrate I understood the care needed and the pain involved etc. I still remember it clear as day. I was so nervous but so happy I'd had them done.

I did pierce my own nose at 12 though, and got my belly button done at around 14! Never any infections though.

YANBU

I’ve told DD that if she still wants to she can have hers pierced in the summer holidays between primary and secondary school

Wow - I am really surprised tbh. I though I was being a total square - but now I might move it up to between primary and secondary. DD will be 13 then.

By cheap I do mean tacky - that’s a much better description. Not the child, but the look of it.

When I was a kid I remember telling my mum 'but everyone else has their ears pierced!' And then she took great pleasure in pointing out all my friends and classmates who didn't I think 12/13 is absolutely fine. Mine are closed up now as I couldn't be arsed with wearing earrings in the end anyway.

Mine were 5

My daughter is almost 11 and no ears pierced yet, but it’s her choice I did say she could have them done if she wants even though I can’t wear earrings due to an allergy and I worry she will be the same. In her case she’s afraid of the pain. All the other girls in her class have ears pierced

I don't really see a problem with it, if they want it done. I don't think it would look tacky on a 7 yr old if it's a nice, small stud.

Can always take it out.

I think I was in year 5 when I had mine pierced, what's that 8 or 9yo. Didn't seem young at the time and I loved how it looked.

My DD (7) has no interest so I won't bring it up. I have noticed a couple or the girls in her class with them but not in a negative way.

If proper piercers won’t do children under 11 then that’s an indication of what’s appropriate. My dd had hers done (with a needle obvs because guns should be banned) at 15. I still had to sign the form.

My mum said 16! When I got to 16 I wasn't interested and have never had them done.

YANBU, you’re the parent.
I’ve told mine they’ve got to be 13. It’s an arbitrary number, but any number I chose would be. My 8 year old says she doesn’t want them doing anyway as she says she doesn’t like how they look and they’d be ‘a faff’ apparently. 6 year old wants hers doing as her best friend has them done but I told her it hurts a lot and she’s not asked since.

@LockdownCheeseToastie

If proper piercers won’t do children under 11 then that’s an indication of what’s appropriate. My dd had hers done (with a needle obvs because guns should be banned) at 15. I still had to sign the form.

Proper piercers round me will do younger than 11 - needle, no gun. Just has to be the child's choice, not the parent.

If you have them done properly - with a needle not a gun - it will be in a tattoo studio and she’d be too young now anyway.

Please don’t let her get them done via gun!

My parents made me wait until I was 16 and I think that was way too late. My daughter had hers done when she was 9 and a half. No issues, looked after them brilliantly and this was 2.5 years ago. I think a lot depends on the child.

I told DD she could have them done when she left Primary.
She actually chose not to have them done until she was 15.
I do judge anyone who lets their children do it before around 8 or 9 to be honest

I let my DD do it at 10. She has been very sensible and looked after them well. Just just wears a simple good quality stud in them and they definitely don't look cheap - they're hardly noticeable to be honest and no big deal.