AIBU to delay 7yr old DD getting ears pierced until she’s 12

[Whosthebestbabainalltheworld]

DD (7) went to a birthday party today where one of the girls got her ears pierced as a birthday present. Cue the inevitable.

I’ve said not until she’s 12. Am I just totally not with it? I don’t have any massive objections, but I was about that age myself and being totally honest, I think they look a bit cheap on small girls - and for saying that out loud I’m sure I will burn in mumsnet hell.

Yes, tiny little studs in a child under 18 look “cheap” .. wtf is wrong with some of you?
It’s not a bikini or high heels ffs.
As long as they’re old enough to understand that it hurts and that they need taking care of then I don’t see the issue.

I would say that 7-8 is fine if you get them done at a reputable piercer rather than on the high street by someone using a gun.

I suspect I know what you mean by "cheap" but that's just judgemental bollocks.

Sorry

Not unreasonable to wait

Very unreasonable to say cheap/tacky

@ColinTheKoala

My mum said 16! When I got to 16 I wasn't interested and have never had them done.

Same, mine said 12 by then I'd spent 4 years watching my sister constantly having infections with cheap earrings, really don't miss them.

Mine didn’t have a clue what pierced ears were at 4! I don’t wear earrings though.

I had mine done at 8. My parents felt I was old enough to understand that piercing ears is painful and that it was something I wanted. Tbh I think it should be a judgement call on maturity when girls are allowed to get their ears done. When my sister had hers done at the same age she cried hysterically after the first ear and wouldn't let the woman touch her until my mum pointed out she'd have to leave with only one ear done! I think it's a nice subtle way for young girls to have a bit of self expression. Your kid though, your rules.

It's a class thing I think - more middle class / upper middle class people tend to do it later, at secondary school age. I think traditionally it was part of going out into society as a marriageable woman etc etc.

Personally I'd say 11 or 12 was about right, I was 13. I don't think it looks especially nice on small children, though I know it's part of some cultures and I wouldn't want to get into a war over it.

I would compromise on the summer after primary school, so aged 11. That way they should be mostly healed up for secondary and PE lessons.

I had mine done when I was three

It’s not something I can get worked up about but many on here seem to be very passionate about ear piercing and the correct age

Whatever you feel is right

Your daughter, your decision. It doesn't matter what other parents allow.

Use of word cheap wasnt the right choice in the context as it's prostitution related! Suggest 'like Pat Butcher's granddaughter' or 'poster child for Wetherspoons' Kids' Menu' as alternatives. But, agree about the age op and wouldn't let a younger child do it any more than any other body mod.

I don't agree with them on babies or toddlers (way too young) but daughter had them done at 6, at a reputable piercers (not Claire's as they seem to be getting a bad rep more recently) and she only wears decent earrings - small studs. She wanted them done for ages and it was totally her choice... most of the girls in her class have them done and at a much younger age than Dd. DD's healed beautifully with no issues! She didn't shed a single tear whilst having them done.

Each to their own. But my daughter is not tacky.

@ConstanceGracy

Yes, tiny little studs in a child under 18 look “cheap” .. wtf is wrong with some of you? It’s not a bikini or high heels ffs. As long as they’re old enough to understand that it hurts and that they need taking care of then I don’t see the issue.

100 percent this.

@DroopyClematis

The trouble with having piercings at a young age is that earrings cannot be worn during PE. They have to be removed by the child.

Some schools may give a plaster to cover them but you'll get parents saying that it's unfair, or that it hurts to remove the plasters, etc... ( despite the pain of the piercing!🙄)

Older children are more likely to be able to remove their piercings.

Not in all schools. Dd is 6 and they don't have to wear plasters over small stud earrings. Quite a few of dd's class have them done.

*Why 12? Is that just so you can mark yourself as a proper middle class mum as opposed to the mum of a 'cheap' looking child?

I'm not a fan of earrings on little kids, but in my opinion a sensible 9 or 10 year old is old enough*

The irony

@StrychnineInTheSandwiches

Why 12? Is that just so you can mark yourself as a proper middle class mum as opposed to the mum of a 'cheap' looking child?

I'm not a fan of earrings on little kids, but in my opinion a sensible 9 or 10 year old is old enough to decide. I've no doubt someone will come along and say they'd ban their child from earrings until they're 16, and I sincerely hope they get a lovely rebellious child who sticks two fingers up at that level of control.

Well said. I can't imagine anyone I know making their child wait until 16 and I know a lot of overbearing parents.

@PuzzledObserver

I think they look icky on little children. I think that’s because I associate adornment with sexuality and therefore not appropriate on prepubescent children.

if you see earrings on a child as sexual that's in your sick head. Really weird view.

I do think people saying they'd ban their child from getting their ears pierced until they're 16 sound ridiculously controlling

Well my mum did as I said upthread and by the time I was 16 I didn't want to bother and never have. I don't do unnecessary pain (except to donate blood).

I decided with my daughter, it wouldn't be any earlier than the summer holiday between primary and secondary, to give her the maximum amount of time to heal and get used to looking after them. Not been an issue as she doesn't want them done. I was older than that and remember struggling with healing.

Pick an age and stick to it. We did 13. 13 seems to be a popular age to get it done.

@Justheretoaskaquestion91

*Why 12? Is that just so you can mark yourself as a proper middle class mum as opposed to the mum of a 'cheap' looking child?

I'm not a fan of earrings on little kids, but in my opinion a sensible 9 or 10 year old is old enough*

The irony

I'm not sure you understand the meaning of the word irony.

Both my girls have had theirs done aged 10, well DD2 was four weeks shy of 10, both done at Claire's by the gun. Absolutely no problems at all, no infections, no pain, no nothing.

Both have gone on to get their ears pierced again at Claire's using the gun, No problems there either, I had my upper ear pierced at Claire's a couple of years ago band never had any trouble with it.

If my DDs were children again, I'd probably do the same, around 9/10 seems a fine age for ear piercing.

What’s the big deal? My dds were 9 and 6 when they got theirs pierced. They looked after them just fine and certainly didn’t look tacky!

I wanted dd to be sure and understand the decision she was making. She wasn't that bothered and ended up having them done aged 16. I'm glad we waited as several of her friends have had more and more done over the years and now have multiple piercings. Whilst that's fine, I would hate her to regret a decision like that.

@Bortles

Use of word cheap wasnt the right choice in the context as it's prostitution related! Suggest 'like Pat Butcher's granddaughter' or 'poster child for Wetherspoons' Kids' Menu' as alternatives. But, agree about the age op and wouldn't let a younger child do it any more than any other body mod.

I'd judge you for those comments way more than I'd judge a child with pierced ears. You sound like a twat.