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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour and neighbour’s friend parking on my driveway without asking

482 replies

changeyourname11111 · 06/11/2021 07:17

About a week ago I looked out of the window one afternoon and noticed that my neighbour’s car was on my drive.

I went round to ask about it and he said that the lady who lives next to him was having people over (weekly occurrence - a bridge party) and that one of her friends had asked to park on his drive so he had parked on mine. He said sorry, he had thought I was out at work Hmm.

The lady who lives next to him is very elderly and I get on with both her and my immediate neighbour so I said ok (not to this being regular though).

However this week, my kids (I am a single parent) were at home and texted me at work to say that there was a random car on our drive (on the same afternoon as the week before I think) and sent me a photo of it.

I assume that this is now the bridge friend parking on my drive, but am annoyed that no one asked for our permission.

The lady in question has her car on the street and a small drive of her own so I assume she must have had two friends over. There is pay and display across the street which is always free but on the other hand maybe the pay by phone is hard to navigate.

I’ve been really busy at work so wasn’t able to go round to either neighbour’s house, but today am
going to speak to both neighbours.

I am torn as to whether I should say just a blanket no to using our (small) drive (we don’t currently have a car), or whether I should say ok as long as they ask first (the lady has my number, my immediate neighbour doesn’t but I will give it to him). I have a feeling that if I say ask first they will not bother and just park there.

Anyway, aibu to think that it is really rude to do this?? Am lying in bed feeling increasingly annoyed about it Grin.

And would you ask them to ask first or just say a blanket no?

OP posts:
MrzClaus · 06/11/2021 07:20

Personally, blanket no! They're already comfortable enough to be a CF and park on it without permission. You'd just be validating their CF behaviour if you gave future / retrospective permission. They are already proven chancers, I wouldn't encourage that.

Personally, I don't think anyone should be driving if they're unable to figure out how to use a public pay and display car park even if it is pay by phone!

WeRTheOnesWeHaveBeenWaitingFor · 06/11/2021 07:22

I’d just let her. You don’t have a car and it saves her friend paying for parking. They should have asked though and are clearly CFs.

yeahitsabadidea · 06/11/2021 07:23

Blanket no to anyone not polite enough to ask first whether they can use your private property. Sure sign You're in cf territory...

Chasingsquirrels · 06/11/2021 07:23

If you are friendly enough with both the neighbours and have no use for the drive yourself (what about your own visitors?) and are happy for them to use it then I'd probably make the point that they should have asked and tell them to ask (giving them your number) if they think they might need to do so in the future.

If you don't want them to use it just tell them it is your drive not a public parking place and not to do park on it. Be aware that this might damage your relations.

MyOtherProfile · 06/11/2021 07:25

You have to be careful, don't you? How long do people have to use your land before there's some kind of claim to having a right to it? Does anyone know about this?

Immunetypegoblin · 06/11/2021 07:25

I think I'd be generous and count this as a solid favour in the bank of neighbourly relationships. I'd say yes, but only if you check in advance/we discuss setting up some sort of regular arrangement. Just parking there without asking is not OK so you need to check. It's OK if you check. CHECK.

Then stick to this like glue - 2 strikes and they're out. If it all works out then you'll officially be the Reasonable Neighbour :)

GoodnightGrandma · 06/11/2021 07:27

Oh no, people take the piss !
Get a couple of heavy plant pots and block your drive.

TrevorFountain · 06/11/2021 07:29

They're really rude.

I also think @MrzClaus makes an interesting point with this: Personally, I don't think anyone should be driving if they're unable to figure out how to use a public pay and display car park even if it is pay by phone!

If you can drive and run a car and play bridge and organise a social life, you can manage a pay and display machine.

I'd get a lockable bollard, just because of the rudeness. But I was rudely women up this morning by a neighbour at 6am so I'm being grumpy!

Original poster
changeyourname11111 · 06/11/2021 07:31

I realise the title should read neighbour and other neighbour’s friend…

Yes I was thinking that about the pay and display as well.

The elderly lady in question is around/over 90 and still drives but has damaged her car on her gate posts. She has come round to ask for help with her microwave and getting messages off her Nokia before so she wouldn’t be able to navigate the Pay By Phone (the old paper voucher system should be available for people as well though IMO). I assume that her friends may be of a similar age.

OP posts:
MrsGhastlyCrumb · 06/11/2021 07:31

It's rude of them not to have asked you- but this is an elderly lady who sees a couple of friends once a week. I personally wouldn't mind, if it was only then, and if I wasn't using it. Especially if I was often at work then anyway.

Jossbow · 06/11/2021 07:34

Why? Why ban them? You dont have a car,
You know who the owner is, and where they are.
Being neighbourly, isn't it?

HugeAckmansWife · 06/11/2021 07:34

I take issue with the 'you shouldn't be driving if you can't navigate a parking app'. My dad got a ticket he is still fighting over this. He drove in, tried to download the app, it failed. He tried to ring and the automated system couldn't get his number right. He left the car park and went elsewhere but because he'd tried for 20 mins was given a ticket. Anyway, back to the point.. OP, as you don't have a car I might be tempted to say OK for this particular time slot weekly but be clear it's not a general permission for anytime.

Thatsplentyjack · 06/11/2021 07:35

Well they should have asked but if I got on with my neighbours and didn't actually have a car myself, I couldn't get worked up about it and would probably tell them it was fine tk park there.

MyButteredBread · 06/11/2021 07:35

What if she damages your property coming in and our of your driveway? What if she damages her car and you end up being liable somehow?

Your drive is yours, and of course you can do what you like with it, including not storing a car there. It's still yours. Ownership doesn't require constant use!

Original poster
changeyourname11111 · 06/11/2021 07:36

I assume that the car was the bridge friend’s car but will check today.

It’s the not being asked which is rude, and my kids not knowing whose car that was. Also how awkward would it have been if the person parking the car had got out at the same time as my kids getting home and they would have been faced with having to interact with a stranger randomly at their house with no permission.

OP posts:
MordredsOrrery · 06/11/2021 07:38

It would be a blanket no from me because (1) they didn't have the courtesy to ask, just assumed a right to your property, and (2) if you need your drive in future are they going to allow that without complaint? There are enough threads on MN suggesting that once they've assumed point 1 they will move on to point 2.

Remember, you've paid for a home with a drive. You can leave it empty or park a Roller on it. Both those options, along with everything in between, are perfectly valid used of your property by you. You are not required to feel guilty or apologise for not using, or give away the right to use, your driveway just because other people have car-driving visitors.

GoodnightGrandma · 06/11/2021 07:38

You could end up with a car dumped on your drive that you then have to dispose of, that will cost you.
One of these people could damage your prop, that will also cost you.
You really need to stop this happening.

AspidistraAnnie · 06/11/2021 07:38

If you don’t have a car and don’t have regular visitors at that time I’d let them park there, but ask them to check every time before they do in case you need the space that day.

Agree that they should have asked first, but not as though they’re stopping you using anything.

Skyla2005 · 06/11/2021 07:39

Big pots with plants

rosesinmygarden · 06/11/2021 07:40

They should have asked first. Very rude and entitled to assume they can use your drive whenever they want to.

Buy some heavy plant pots or something similar to put on your driveway. If anyone asks you can just say that unfortunately you've had problems with people respassing and you're concerned thay may leave damage (which is a genuine concern by the sounds of it).

Original poster
changeyourname11111 · 06/11/2021 07:40

OP, as you don't have a car I might be tempted to say OK for this particular time slot weekly but be clear it's not a general permission for anytime.

Yes I agree with this - I am going to ask when the slot is and day ok for that. I am worried that she might see that as an open invitation for it to happen whenever though. With my immediate neighbour I am going to ask him to text me first if he needs to park there or knock on the door and speak to my kids (though he has his own driveway so should be ok).

I agree that technology and how cash free we are now as a society is a barrier to many people and shouldn’t be.

OP posts:
Gizlotsmum · 06/11/2021 07:40

As long as you don’t need the drive I don’t see it being an issue I would maybe asked that they check in case you have need for the drive on the day they use it ( work being down/ your own visitors)

spotcheck · 06/11/2021 07:41

Personally, I don't think anyone should be driving if they're unable to figure out how to use a public pay and display car park even if it is pay by phone!

Rubbish! Not everyone brings their phone everywhere/has data etc
And operating the app is a complete different set of skills. What a ridiculous comparison

Original poster
changeyourname11111 · 06/11/2021 07:41

say not day

OP posts:
anon12345678901 · 06/11/2021 07:41

It would be a no from me. Over time they would just stop asking, especially if they didn't ask last time. It's really rude and entitled to use someone else's driveway without asking.