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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour and neighbour’s friend parking on my driveway without asking

482 replies

changeyourname11111 · 06/11/2021 07:17

About a week ago I looked out of the window one afternoon and noticed that my neighbour’s car was on my drive.

I went round to ask about it and he said that the lady who lives next to him was having people over (weekly occurrence - a bridge party) and that one of her friends had asked to park on his drive so he had parked on mine. He said sorry, he had thought I was out at work Hmm.

The lady who lives next to him is very elderly and I get on with both her and my immediate neighbour so I said ok (not to this being regular though).

However this week, my kids (I am a single parent) were at home and texted me at work to say that there was a random car on our drive (on the same afternoon as the week before I think) and sent me a photo of it.

I assume that this is now the bridge friend parking on my drive, but am annoyed that no one asked for our permission.

The lady in question has her car on the street and a small drive of her own so I assume she must have had two friends over. There is pay and display across the street which is always free but on the other hand maybe the pay by phone is hard to navigate.

I’ve been really busy at work so wasn’t able to go round to either neighbour’s house, but today am
going to speak to both neighbours.

I am torn as to whether I should say just a blanket no to using our (small) drive (we don’t currently have a car), or whether I should say ok as long as they ask first (the lady has my number, my immediate neighbour doesn’t but I will give it to him). I have a feeling that if I say ask first they will not bother and just park there.

Anyway, aibu to think that it is really rude to do this?? Am lying in bed feeling increasingly annoyed about it Grin.

And would you ask them to ask first or just say a blanket no?

OP posts:
Gazelda · 06/11/2021 08:22

I'm afraid I'd say a blanket no. For insurance reasons.
Will you be gritting the drive in icy and snowy days so the friend doesn't fall? Even if you have the time and resource to do this, I think you are opening a can of worms if you allow this.
But I understand it's not a neighbourly attitude. I hope it doesn't sour relations,

Erin22 · 06/11/2021 08:28

Honestly I would just let them park .. in neighbourly spirit.

I would however politely say that they should agree the slot in advance or text as your children are uncomfortable with a random car in the drive and you want to let them know in advance. Perfectly reasonable.

wetpebbles · 06/11/2021 08:29

I would get a large plant pot on the drive

DameMaureen · 06/11/2021 08:30

@changeyourname11111

I assume that the car was the bridge friend’s car but will check today.

It’s the not being asked which is rude, and my kids not knowing whose car that was. Also how awkward would it have been if the person parking the car had got out at the same time as my kids getting home and they would have been faced with having to interact with a stranger randomly at their house with no permission.

You're being ridiculous now .
Tiramiwho · 06/11/2021 08:30

It's a no from me. Before you know it, it will be left there 'safely' overnight and they'll be stating this on their insurance 🙄

JudySmallweed · 06/11/2021 08:30

@MrzClaus All the pay and display machines near me require a smartphone. I haven't got a smartphone so I can't pay for parking. They ought to have a system whereby parking is available for all who pay, not just people who have a particular type of phone.

Anyway, OP, YANBU to object to them parking willy-nilly on your drive, despite you not having a car and being at work. Agree with those who suggest they ask in advance, and that it would be neighbourly of you to agree - but only by prior arrangement (you could easily need your own drive for visitors/tradesmen etc).

I wouldn't have thought that insurance was an issue, any more than it would be an issue if you had a visitor who had a mishap with their car on your drive.

EwwSprouts · 06/11/2021 08:31

I would say no but say they can park on the road blocking your drive, as you don't currently need access at that time of day. They started without asking and it will grow.

Original poster
changeyourname11111 · 06/11/2021 08:31

How would you feel if a stranger was getting out of their car on your drive when you were at your front door? What would you say to them?

My kids had no idea whose that car was and did not know the bridge/neighbour context.

OP posts:
NameChanged15729 · 06/11/2021 08:32

It would be an absolute no from me. I have this problem but it’s an allocated parking space rather than a drive and like you I don’t have a car but do have frequent visitors. It’s given me no end of stress. Most recently was one of my neighbours who has a drive but to many cars to fit on it trying to claim it as there own Hmm. It resulted in the neighbour physically assaulting my dh when he went around and asked them to move because I had visitors coming around. I hadn’t been letting him use it freely before this! I’d told him it wasn’t a free parking space and had it numbered but people are selfish and take the piss.
This has future problem written all over it, I wouldn’t allow it.

Original poster
changeyourname11111 · 06/11/2021 08:32

(That was in answer to @DameMaureen)

OP posts:
GunsNShips · 06/11/2021 08:34

Not sure what type of road you lead out onto, but could they park across the drive on the road? Just until you get a car obvs. Means no wear and tear on your drive, not risk of damage but still get somewhere to park?

TrevorFountain · 06/11/2021 08:35

@wetpebbles

I would get a large plant pot on the drive
My mum drove into her neighbour's (probably put there for fuck off reasons).

She said she didn't see it.

SirChenjins · 06/11/2021 08:35

Blanket no from me.

You have the right to park on your own property whenever you want, and if it starts off as one day a week it could very quickly escalate. You’re also putting yourself at risk in terms of damage to your property from the car, or from an insurance claim if the driver injured themselves on your property. It’s just not worth it.

vdbfamily · 06/11/2021 08:35

If you have a drive and no car I would contact then and day you don't mind but need them to ask as there may be a day that you are off and have someone visiting. Our you could say that you are happy with it on bridge day but not as a general rule.

Justilou1 · 06/11/2021 08:37

If they have form for parking by Braille, I’d make that a hard pass. Insurance liability. Also, they’ll be telling everyone and their duck to park there soon.

JenniferAllisonPhillipaSue · 06/11/2021 08:37

My concern would be if you allow this and then their car doesn't start one day, or a slow puncture gets worse, or the owner/driver falls ill - you could end up with the car sitting there for months. So it's a 'blanket no' from me.

Pottedpalm · 06/11/2021 08:38

@MrsGhastlyCrumb

It's rude of them not to have asked you- but this is an elderly lady who sees a couple of friends once a week. I personally wouldn't mind, if it was only then, and if I wasn't using it. Especially if I was often at work then anyway.
This from me too. It’s not affecting you really and helps your elderly neighbour out. Why wouldn’t you?
TerryOrange · 06/11/2021 08:39

Say no
You can’t charge them wouldnt your mortgage company then need to be involved? Insurance needed?
What if the car catches fire and your house is damaged? Leaks oil who pays to clean that up

Cheeky fuckers

RampantIvy · 06/11/2021 08:39

Personally, I don't think anyone should be driving if they're unable to figure out how to use a public pay and display car park even if it is pay by phone!

That's a bit harsh. Some pay and display machines are not straightforward at all. I was stuck in a queue to pay for car parking in Sheffield last week because the machine and the instructions were so ridiculously complicated that everyone was confused about how to pay.

Saltyquiche · 06/11/2021 08:40

I’d offer the parking space to the elderly bridge player while I don’t have need of it

Hunderland · 06/11/2021 08:40

You don't have a car, you're at work and it's for a specific short event once a week...

Meh. I couldn't get bothered about this.

TempleofZoom · 06/11/2021 08:42

@anon12345678901

It would be a no from me. Over time they would just stop asking, especially if they didn't ask last time. It's really rude and entitled to use someone else's driveway without asking.
Agree with this. Rude and entitled, what a cheek. It sets a precedent and things spiral. Before you know they will tell all their friends its ok and you have car on your drive everyday.

Big pot or a penguin bollard Grin

Franklin12 · 06/11/2021 08:42

It’s the age of the driver that would do it for me. Various minor pieces of damage and also as others say if she slipped and fell in the winter who would be liable?

SirChenjins · 06/11/2021 08:42

Have you checked that your house insurance covers injuries to third parties?

We had an incident recently with a delivery driver claiming he’d been injured as the result of a wobbly step (Angry - he wasn’t, we could see from our Ring doorbell what happened and it wasn’t as he’d claimed) but it was very nerve wracking as I hadn’t even thought about our house insurance.

Pottedpalm · 06/11/2021 08:43

@changeyourname11111

How would you feel if a stranger was getting out of their car on your drive when you were at your front door? What would you say to them?

My kids had no idea whose that car was and did not know the bridge/neighbour context.

Well explain it to them! If they are old enough to be home alone surely they can cope with one, presumably elderly, person being outside for a few minutes? Or they could say hello, might make someone’s day.