Neighbour and neighbour’s friend parking on my driveway without asking

[changeyourname11111]

About a week ago I looked out of the window one afternoon and noticed that my neighbour’s car was on my drive.

I went round to ask about it and he said that the lady who lives next to him was having people over (weekly occurrence - a bridge party) and that one of her friends had asked to park on his drive so he had parked on mine. He said sorry, he had thought I was out at work .

The lady who lives next to him is very elderly and I get on with both her and my immediate neighbour so I said ok (not to this being regular though).

However this week, my kids (I am a single parent) were at home and texted me at work to say that there was a random car on our drive (on the same afternoon as the week before I think) and sent me a photo of it.

I assume that this is now the bridge friend parking on my drive, but am annoyed that no one asked for our permission.

The lady in question has her car on the street and a small drive of her own so I assume she must have had two friends over. There is pay and display across the street which is always free but on the other hand maybe the pay by phone is hard to navigate.

I’ve been really busy at work so wasn’t able to go round to either neighbour’s house, but today am
going to speak to both neighbours.

I am torn as to whether I should say just a blanket no to using our (small) drive (we don’t currently have a car), or whether I should say ok as long as they ask first (the lady has my number, my immediate neighbour doesn’t but I will give it to him). I have a feeling that if I say ask first they will not bother and just park there.

Anyway, aibu to think that it is really rude to do this?? Am lying in bed feeling increasingly annoyed about it .

And would you ask them to ask first or just say a blanket no?

For me it would be the not asking that would bother me. I get the impression that you would have kindly offered for them to use your driveway, on isolated occasions, but object to them just assuming it is ok. You may have agreed someone else could park there on the day they just assume it is ok! Or you could be having a delivery or a tradesmen needing to park there to work at your home. This would cause inconvenience for you.

Maybe if spaces are at a premium locally you could make some extra cash by renting your driveway as a parking space for someone else?

I would be inclined to have a word and say that although you don't mind sometimes this MUST be prearranged and agreed with you & they should not just assume you won't mind. I wouldn't be inclined to agree a regular weekly arrangement as this may be inconvenient for you at any point.The behaviour is abusing your good nature IMO.

They probably didn't even read the note! Go to them and be firm
that the CF parking stops!
Buy a planter it can be put on a wheeled pot stand 😉

@changeyourname11111

Thanks for the messages. I think some people might not have read my update at the end - I had decided to say no for various reasons which are detailed upthread. A previous poster said I had initially given them permission - no I hadn’t.

The reason I posted today was because a couple of days ago - more than three months after the whole thing happened - they again parked there and again without asking. I have already said no but clearly that no doesn’t mean much. I agree that they are entitled.

I also would help people if they asked - but I don’t want a regular arrangement and I don’t want people to park there without asking.

I agree with the pp who says they are hoping I just get worn down by it.

Planters a good idea but I would worry they would be stolen and would be difficult to move if I need to use the space for whatever reason.

@Sparklywolf - your client’s scenario is the one I am worried about.

As for my relationship with them souring - they are the ones who have caused this IMO.

When it happens again, can you put a note on the car telling them that no-one has your permission to park there and they are trespassing? They might not know that your neighbour is taking the piss?

Penguin bollard.
Clamp the car.
Block it in for a few days.

^^

I can see this is more likely to be a problem in areas where people have specified parking spaces in a communal private car park - ie those that new build flats and houses often have. There are constant reports of CFs who choose to park in spaces which are not theirs.

However, to drive onto someone’s private property (driveway beside house or in front of house) which is off road and not in anyway communal, strikes me as astonishing. Fortunately, I’ve never known it ir seen it happen in the paces I’ve lived. Even in places with parking problems, people understand that a private off road driveway is solely for the use of the owner or those they invite to park there, regardless of whether the owner has a car or not.

People generally don’t go and ask neighbours if they can use their garden if it’s not in use, or their spare room, and certainly don’t just opt to use them without asking. I really don’t see how this is different. Snd being neighbourly doesn’t mean giving free access to your private property, being neighbourly means saying ‘hi’ to people putting bins out, taking in the odd parcel etc. Being neighbourly and friends might involve going into each other’s houses for coffee occasionally, or feeding pets or finding yourself at the same party or having friends in common. This still doesn’t extend to a right to use their orivate property without permission, or to even ask to do so. It is irrelevant if owner uses the driveway or not. It is theirs and if they choose to leave it empty for 20 years, a neighbour has no right to expect to use it, I 5e same way they have no right to expect to use rooms in a house which might be empty for 20 years.

I wonder if some of these issues occur more frequently on estates…newer ir older ones? Or does it happen more on non-estate roads? Is it typically older people or long term residents who show this entitled and rude behaviour and are they like this in other areas of life - ie, pushy, demanding and manipulative and essentially bullies who hope they won’t be challenged becaue they think the victim will keep silent for a quiet life. Do they target women more often or those they think wont like awkwardness? I suspect they do. They probably choose their target carefully, because many people would have no trouble after 1 occasion of this shit, going round and saying perfectly pleasantly ‘I don’t know quite how it’s happened, but you/your guest seems to be parked on my drive. Just wanted to be clear this can’t happen again’. And most people would have no trouble if the CF then said ‘Oh I’d hoped you wouldn’t mind as you don’t have a car’ or ‘Do you think we could park there occasionally when X who is elderly and frail comes over’ replying ‘No, I’m sorry. I know parking is difficult, but that’s my drive and I’m not happy to start any kind of parking agreement for anyone, but always want to know the drive is free for my visitors or remains empty’.

It’s perfectly possible to be firm and also polite and friendly. Any neighbour who then becomes unfriendly as a result of a polite denial, isn’t a good neighbour anyway and no real loss. Most CFs also kniw they’re pushing boundaries and if someone stands up to them politely, will accept it. It’s when they’re given an inch that they push for a mile. That’s why it’s important not to give the inch.

@Fatmax22

You need to stop agonising over this. They got away with it once, they will go back to doing it more. When a car appears get straight round there - my driveway isn't a public car park. Please move the car now. Rinse and repeat.

This.

Unfortunately, unless you install a barrier of some sort, this is what you will have to do @changeyourname11111.
Every.

Single.

Time.

Or invest in one of these:
www.mcsport.ie/products/tuftex-standard-megaphone-at-01700-100?variant=31806339711055
and stand in your driveway/parking spot saying really clearly "Could the owner of car registration Z12345 CD6 please remove it from the parking space that isn't theirs. Failure to remove this vehicle will result in it being towed in the next 30 minutes" and get it towed.

OP can't keep going round to complain as soon as a car appears on her drive, she's out at work a lot of the time.