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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour and neighbour’s friend parking on my driveway without asking

482 replies

changeyourname11111 · 06/11/2021 07:17

About a week ago I looked out of the window one afternoon and noticed that my neighbour’s car was on my drive.

I went round to ask about it and he said that the lady who lives next to him was having people over (weekly occurrence - a bridge party) and that one of her friends had asked to park on his drive so he had parked on mine. He said sorry, he had thought I was out at work Hmm.

The lady who lives next to him is very elderly and I get on with both her and my immediate neighbour so I said ok (not to this being regular though).

However this week, my kids (I am a single parent) were at home and texted me at work to say that there was a random car on our drive (on the same afternoon as the week before I think) and sent me a photo of it.

I assume that this is now the bridge friend parking on my drive, but am annoyed that no one asked for our permission.

The lady in question has her car on the street and a small drive of her own so I assume she must have had two friends over. There is pay and display across the street which is always free but on the other hand maybe the pay by phone is hard to navigate.

I’ve been really busy at work so wasn’t able to go round to either neighbour’s house, but today am
going to speak to both neighbours.

I am torn as to whether I should say just a blanket no to using our (small) drive (we don’t currently have a car), or whether I should say ok as long as they ask first (the lady has my number, my immediate neighbour doesn’t but I will give it to him). I have a feeling that if I say ask first they will not bother and just park there.

Anyway, aibu to think that it is really rude to do this?? Am lying in bed feeling increasingly annoyed about it Grin.

And would you ask them to ask first or just say a blanket no?

OP posts:
HarrisonStickle · 06/11/2021 09:39

@changeyourname11111

How would you feel if a stranger was getting out of their car on your drive when you were at your front door? What would you say to them?

My kids had no idea whose that car was and did not know the bridge/neighbour context.

That's awful. Reiterating my NO!
spotcheck · 06/11/2021 09:41

@MrzClaus
Didn't say that gives anyone the right to park on a private drive.

godmum56 · 06/11/2021 09:42

Blanket no from me because they have already been taking the piss. there is also the insurance thing and you might use that as an excuse...that you checked your insurance and it doesn't cover other folk parking on your property who are not visiting your house....in any case you will doubtless have deliveries, repairmen and so on calling and you need to know they have access. This is one of those "not my circus" situations...its between the bridge player and her neighbour

EdgeOfTheSky · 06/11/2021 09:42

Do people really spend £100 and a weekend morning installing a bollard in case someone parks on their drive?

I would if I had constant randoms inconveniencing me on a regular basis, but not ‘just in case’ based on an elderly neighbour’s once a week bridge club.

Pottedpalm · 06/11/2021 09:44

Jeez, the world is going mad. Can children old enough to home alone not cope with anything? This visitor is likely to be elderly if the neighbour is 90. A safeguarding issue? What are we protecting them from? A mad rapist? Someone, god forbid, taking their photo? Or an elderly person toddling two doors down for a bit of social activity.

cansu · 06/11/2021 09:44

They ought to have asked. I couldn't get annoyed about this though. Go round. Find out whose car it is and discuss. If you want to be neighbourly tell them it is OK once a week at that time but thats it. Given you don't use your drive and don't have a car you will come across as a bit of an arse to say no.

Pottedpalm · 06/11/2021 09:47

I would go round and speak to your neighbour and say you are ok with the one regular afternoon, but not at other times unless agreed.

ESGdance · 06/11/2021 09:51

It seems that your immediate next doe neighbour is the CF?

Was it not he that bounced them off to yours thinking you were at work?

He also disrespected you a second time because he thought you were at work but hadn’t considered the kids being around for half term etc.

I also think you are setting a precedent - you might be in a situation where you have carers parking there 4 times a day in an out at random times from 6am till 10pm.

Concestor · 06/11/2021 09:55

I haven't read all the thread, apologies, but his about installing a bollard which you can lower when they ask permission to use your drive? That way you are being reasonable but also have control. Discuss it with them first though.

Chelyanne · 06/11/2021 09:56

Blanket NO from me.
I find the crappy parker over the road annoying because he parks too far over on his neighbours side of their shared drive. No way could I stand someone parking on ours, we use it anyway.

Keeptrudging · 06/11/2021 09:58

No. Just no. YANBU. It's your driveway. You'll end up with it being seen as up for grabs by any 'helpful neighbour' as people click that you don't mind. I've only once let neighbours use our driveway, that was for after a funeral. I would hate having randomers parking in my driveway, it's just weird!

GinIronic · 06/11/2021 09:59

It’s a big fat no from me.

TempleofZoom · 06/11/2021 10:01

@Keeptrudging

No. Just no. YANBU. It's your driveway. You'll end up with it being seen as up for grabs by any 'helpful neighbour' as people click that you don't mind. I've only once let neighbours use our driveway, that was for after a funeral. I would hate having randomers parking in my driveway, it's just weird!
Or CF neighbour tells everyone you dont mind and his visitors/ relatives use your drive as well. Your insticts are right Op, say no firmly.
Notaroadrunner · 06/11/2021 10:03

@WeRTheOnesWeHaveBeenWaitingFor

I’d just let her. You don’t have a car and it saves her friend paying for parking. They should have asked though and are clearly CFs.
Not ops problem if they have to pay for parking.

@changeyourname11111 stick a couple of plant pots in the middle of your driveway so nobody can park on it. If your neighbours friend reverses into your driveway and hits your wall/fence by accident and causes damage who'll pay for repairs?? These things happen and I bet the neighbour won't want to know then. Keep your property to yourself and let the neighbour and her friends figure out their own parking dilemma.

timeisnotaline · 06/11/2021 10:03

I would probably make the point that that particular time slot their friend can park there, but you are a single mum whose children are sometimes home alone m- that’s actually how you found out they were parking there as the dc were freaked out. Your children’s safety and comfort home alone is the most important thing to you so if there is ever again a car there that hasn’t asked permission in advance you will put a bollard up.

GraceandFrankie · 06/11/2021 10:06

If you’re ok with it, make it clear that only during a specific slot. My parents don’t have a car and let a neighbour use the drive once, and then a couple more times. Now, several neighbours use the drive without even asking. What makes it worse is when there is a game at Wembley, they park their own cars on my parents drive and hire out their driveway to cars, making maybe £50 each time.

Icebreaker99 · 06/11/2021 10:06

I would say they need to ask your first and your reason being is that you may have your own visitors who need it/workman/plumbers etc. Say you were having a big delivery, you should have to run about asking people to move their cars of your property!

Icebreaker99 · 06/11/2021 10:06

Argh need to proof read first but hopefully you get the message!

Nitgel · 06/11/2021 10:08

my mil's neighbours used to do this. it's really rude and i just don't get why people would think it's okay. Her carers couldn't park and an ambulance sent to collect her one morning had to park in teh street. they just continually did it. really strange self entitled behaviour.

they also used her wheelie bin so I just emptied it back onto their lawn.

rainbowstardrops · 06/11/2021 10:11

Well your neighbour is definitely a CF for thinking he can park there in the first place just because he thought you were at work!

If the old lady neighbour had mentioned it to you in person then I might have agreed to it only on the bridge afternoons whilst you haven't got a car but as nobody bothered to actually ask, they're all CFs and I'd be worried that it would escalate to other times too. Also, as PP have said, what if she damages your property? Who will be liable?

MyOtherProfile · 06/11/2021 10:15

You could pop round with a form for them to sign acknowledging no responsibility on your part to any damages to their cars and for them to accept all responsibility to damage to your property. Especially the woman who hit her own gatepost

CrotchetyQuaver · 06/11/2021 10:15

I think it's very rude of them to do this without asking beforehand.

Silenceisgolden20 · 06/11/2021 10:18

Which can't you just say no? They've already done it without asking before, which shows they don't really care so why are you being so nice to rude people? It's your driveway

Silenceisgolden20 · 06/11/2021 10:19

Plus if you wanted to say yes, you'll would have done straight away . Some people just take the piss, you can be polite and tell them no

Silenceisgolden20 · 06/11/2021 10:20

@MyOtherProfile

You could pop round with a form for them to sign acknowledging no responsibility on your part to any damages to their cars and for them to accept all responsibility to damage to your property. Especially the woman who hit her own gatepost
Who has time for that shit? Honestly, she owes them nothing when they've been so rude to her.