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AIBU?

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Original poster

Another toddler attacked and bit my child's face

320 replies

nova99 · 05/11/2021 22:42

Dd attends a local nursery and she came home today with a huge dark red bite mark covering half her cheek. Nursery called me in the afternoon to tell me this had happened. However when I went to collect her she had a the huge (very swollen) bite mark, a scratch on her head, a bloody scratch on her chin and a deep scratch that looks like it had been bleeding in the other side of her face with lots of little scratches around it.
She looks like she's been mauled and I'm absolutely horrified.
Nursery staff told me that another child had done this to her. However they said they could hear her crying and went to find her hiding in her sleep area and saw the marks. They were apologetic, said the child in question had bitten other children that day and they will be talking to the child's parents.
It just doesn't feel like enough. She's only just turned 2. She's a quiet, delicate little thing which makes this all the more heartbreaking.

I'm so angry. It's not like a few little scratches. I'll need to take her to the doctor for the scratch and the bite alone. She complained of pain in her cheek so I gave her calpol.

What can I even do? Who can I even complain to? I know kids rough and tumble but honestly this is something else Sad

OP posts:
Notimeforaname · 05/11/2021 22:45

They were apologetic, said the child in question had bitten other children that day and they will be talking to the child's parents.
It just doesn't feel like enough. what would be enough? I'm sorry this happened. But a two year old did it. It happens unfortunately

Nicknacky · 05/11/2021 22:45

What more do you want to happen?

Notimeforaname · 05/11/2021 22:46

I worked in a pre school for a time and one little boy there went went through a phase of biting. His poor mum was in bits about it. The child grew out of it eventually.

I'm sorry it happened but not much can be done now. It can happen in a flash... even if you are standing there with the children.

Original poster
nova99 · 05/11/2021 22:47

I don't know what else I want to happen, it just doesn't feel like enough, her face is a mess Sad

OP posts:
Notimeforaname · 05/11/2021 22:48

I dont think you need to go to the doctor for a scratch or bite do you ? I've been bitten by and seen many bites happen, at the hands of toddlers...never known anyone to go to the doctors about it...

Notimeforaname · 05/11/2021 22:49

I'm sorry nova99 but this can happen with toddlers and young kids.

CasaBonita · 05/11/2021 22:50

I think you need reassurance from the nursery that they will keep a very close eye on this child. Tell them that.

I mean really, what is the point in them having a word with the parents?! It's not as if they can reason with their toddler is it?

Spudina · 05/11/2021 22:51

We had similar. I think it’s reasonable that the parents are brought in and a plan is made that for example, the other child is never left alone with children, even if that means he has one on one care.

Original poster
nova99 · 05/11/2021 22:52

@Notimeforaname the scratch is really quite deep and swollen, it's more of a cut, so they told me to get her checked out if it stays red and swollen

OP posts:
Notimeforaname · 05/11/2021 22:52

Ive seen toddlers faces a bloody mess before,literally, from other toddlers/babies grabbing their face or hitting them with a wooden toy. They do grow out of it and the staff just have to keep an extra eye on the child who bites when they can. That's all we could do. It was a toddler. Just turned 2. We couldn't punish them or the parents?

Scottishskifun · 05/11/2021 22:53

There are many reasons that a child bites. I completely understand that it's upsetting my son was bitten it's not pleasant but the nursery work with the parents to try to understand and prevent in future.
It can be caused from anything from normal development, frustration, jealousy or sensory and undiagnosed autism.

The only thing the nursery can do now aware is to keep a closer eye on the behaviour of the child biting which may also help identify if there is a root cause or if it's just a phase etc.

Notimeforaname · 05/11/2021 22:54

I hope your daughters face clears up soon. She womt remember this. My heart genuinely goes out to you , its horrible to see. But toddlers are assholes sometimes!

LiberteEgaliteBeyonce · 05/11/2021 22:58

My DS was a biter. He bit a few times including his then best mate and myself. I think he was about 2 at the time (not quite sure). We did all we could to stop him but to no avail.
I was mortified every time he bit someone else but the nursery and I felt pretty powerless to stop him. He grew out of it (thankfully!). Someone told me it was due to the lack of language.

Swearwolf · 05/11/2021 22:58

You should take a child to the doctor if they get bitten by another kid - it happened to mine at nursery and they advised us to. The doctor said they give antibiotics as default just in case, as you never know what the other child might be carrying. Not to worry you, but get her checked.

It is a shock but the other child's parents probably feel horrible, and the staff probably do too. It happens!

Ledition · 05/11/2021 22:58

I think people are minimising. This shouldn't happen. If they were supervising properly it wouldn't. If I left my DC Unsupervised continually at that age it may have progressed to that but I intervened whenever anyone apperared to be on route to violence I simply can't understand how nursery's paid an extortionate amount with minimal numbers in their care allow this to happen. It's not good enough. He had bitten other children that very day - he should have had an adult on his back to prevent this.

I'm sorry OP I'd be sick if this happened to my DDs at this age. I don't have advice as I'm fairly steadfast in my views that home is the best place for DC at this age - I know there's often no choice and both my DC were in childcare before two so this is not judgement it's just a statement of fact. Nursery's can never replicate parents and you will always have to compromise unfortunately. The care is ALWAYS subpar compared to home.

AssassinatedBeauty · 05/11/2021 22:58

I think the nursery need to be clearer on what they will do to protect your DD from now on. You can't ask about the other child or insist on them telling you what they will be doing with them to address their behaviour. They should only speak to you about keeping your DD safe. So, do they plan on keeping her away from this other child? What will they do if she shows signs of being frightened by other children or nervous about being at nursery?

I hope your DD feels better soon, it must have been a real shock when you saw her. My DS had a similar experience and came home with a very red, angry full bite mark on his cheek. It is quite a shocking thing to see.

MrsToadflax · 05/11/2021 23:02

I'd be asking how the children were left unsupervised long enough for it to happen. They were only alerted when they heard her crying...by which point she'd run off to hide. This would worry me.

imlostandfussy · 05/11/2021 23:03

Why are people minimising this? I'm sorry but if my child came out in the state then I wouldn't be thinking 'oh it's just a toddler, that's what they do!' No chance. Neither of my children have ever bitten. There is no excuse for it. The nursery need to have a serious talk with the parents and have someone with the child constantly. Who would willingly send their child to nursery knowing that they are in danger of being physically harmed like that! OP I'm so angry for you!

BeardieWeirdie · 05/11/2021 23:05

I’d want the other child to be either have a 1-1, or asked to leave if this wasn’t possible, and let them know that I’d be removing my child from their “care”. This is not acceptable.

BeardieWeirdie · 05/11/2021 23:06

Argh, I’d remove my child if they weren’t prepared to do either of the above.

NewtoHolland · 05/11/2021 23:06

These things do happen but That nobody saw the incident and DD ran off to hide and cry would really concern me.

Sonygirl23 · 05/11/2021 23:06

I'm sorry but these things happen in nursery. They are just toddlers. If you dont like it, then pull her out and consider looking after your daughter yourself

Sleepyhungryfattyanddoc · 05/11/2021 23:06

Kids bite. But the fact that this all happened - and sounds quite dramatic - but was completely unnoticed, that would be my main concern

Notimeforaname · 05/11/2021 23:07

If they were supervising properly it wouldn't
This just isnt true.
I've been in a room with 12 babies/toddlers and 3 - 4 adults and it still happens.

One time I was on one side of the room holding a baby, colleagues dotted around the room engaging with children/feeding and in front of my nose one
child quickly grabbed another's face ?nails dug in.and bit down on the cheek. Unless I threw the baby in my arms down I could not have stopped it. My colleague had to rush over. It happens

Notimeforaname · 05/11/2021 23:07

I didn't mean the rogue question mark in the middle of that postHmm

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