Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Another toddler attacked and bit my child's face

320 replies

nova99 · 05/11/2021 22:42

Dd attends a local nursery and she came home today with a huge dark red bite mark covering half her cheek. Nursery called me in the afternoon to tell me this had happened. However when I went to collect her she had a the huge (very swollen) bite mark, a scratch on her head, a bloody scratch on her chin and a deep scratch that looks like it had been bleeding in the other side of her face with lots of little scratches around it.
She looks like she's been mauled and I'm absolutely horrified.
Nursery staff told me that another child had done this to her. However they said they could hear her crying and went to find her hiding in her sleep area and saw the marks. They were apologetic, said the child in question had bitten other children that day and they will be talking to the child's parents.
It just doesn't feel like enough. She's only just turned 2. She's a quiet, delicate little thing which makes this all the more heartbreaking.

I'm so angry. It's not like a few little scratches. I'll need to take her to the doctor for the scratch and the bite alone. She complained of pain in her cheek so I gave her calpol.

What can I even do? Who can I even complain to? I know kids rough and tumble but honestly this is something else Sad

OP posts:
AssassinatedBeauty · 05/11/2021 23:08

@imlostandfussy

Why are people minimising this? I'm sorry but if my child came out in the state then I wouldn't be thinking 'oh it's just a toddler, that's what they do!' No chance. Neither of my children have ever bitten. There is no excuse for it. The nursery need to have a serious talk with the parents and have someone with the child constantly. Who would willingly send their child to nursery knowing that they are in danger of being physically harmed like that! OP I'm so angry for you!
I don't think anyone is excusing it. A child could bite another in a soft play or public park in a matter of moments, before any parent could intervene. Of course it could happen at a nursery where the children don't normally have one to one supervision and the nursery staff aren't able to have eyes directly on every child all of the time.

The staff at the nursery my child attended were mortified that it had happened and it never happened again to my child. It was an outstanding nursery, and it was a one off incident.

ldfdyjxzyjkv · 05/11/2021 23:09

[quote nova99]@Notimeforaname the scratch is really quite deep and swollen, it's more of a cut, so they told me to get her checked out if it stays red and swollen [/quote]
Ask for the child to be excluded, raise a formerly complaint. If is disgusting what has happened to your poor DD. It is a breach of their duty of care, personally I would be threatening to sue them. Make sure you full document her injuries and I would consider asking to pay for her to see a paediatric plastic surgeon - if the cut is deep it may scar. Don’t go to to a GP they will fob you off. I hope yoir DD feels ok tomorrow.

Original poster
nova99 · 05/11/2021 23:09

@MrsToadflax this is what I'm wondering. They told me on the phone that another child had done this. And they only told me about the bite. When I got there and saw the other side of her face was injured as well she said she had heard her crying and went to check on her and saw the scratches. So maybe they saw the child bite but not scratch?
Whatever happened, they should of intervened when they started looking like they were being aggressive.

I know toddlers do this. I have an older child and I've signed may accident forms at nursery. But both sides of her face are swollen. Her cheek is turning black on one side and her other cheek is swollen with a deep wound. Lots of bloody scratches around her face. It's not normal which is why I'm so angry.

OP posts:
Notimeforaname · 05/11/2021 23:11

I would be threatening to sue them okeydokey so🤣

thanksamillion · 05/11/2021 23:11

How is the nursery meant to provide 1:1 at the drop of a hat? Do you think they have spare staff just sitting around? And who will pay for it? Yes they need to monitor the child and probably put a behaviour plan in place (which you can ask to see) but no, they won't be able to do what some people are suggesting on here.

nova99 · 05/11/2021 23:11

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Invisimamma · 05/11/2021 23:11

You need to ask nursery what measures they are putting in place to ensure it doesn't happen again and children are kept safe from harm.

Yes these things do happen, but this child seems to have form for it so needs closer supervision to prevent it happening in future or staff able to intervene quicker.
I would also ask why nobody saw it happen, it sound like quite a vicious attack, why did nobody see or hear in the first place?

WoWsers16 · 05/11/2021 23:12

The same happened to my child - he got bitten and it was a terrible bite- I could basically see the child's dental print on my boys cheek (even 3 hours after it happened). They even said it was the worse they've ever seen.
I was in shock when I saw it- the preschool hadn't rang me but caught me before I picked him up. I told them that I totally understood it was not the preschools fault and that you can't watch children all the time- however when I got home it hit me more. My husband rang up and wasn't so considerate- he wanted to know what actions were going to be taken to keep our boy safe. He threatened ofsted and criminal police action (he was really angry!)
It turns out this child had bitten someone else that day (I found out through a friend) so then I rang the preschool and voiced my concerns that my boy got bitten after the first bite.
This child now has a staff rota to have 1-1 as well as getting someone coming to observe her. Parents are involved. I have figured out which child it is.
Unfortunately they can't expel the child. I have said if it happens again and they don't do something like change her day so she's not with my boy then I will take my boy out- which won't be fair as he is the innocent party.
We didn't take him to the doctors as it didn't break the skin. X

Pottedpalm · 05/11/2021 23:12

I can imagine one child being bitten before staff could intervene, but surely then they would take steps to ensure the child didn’t repeat the behaviour, several times!

ldfdyjxzyjkv · 05/11/2021 23:13

It is ridiculous that people are saying this is fine/to be expected. Another child assaulted OPs child - it is completely unacceptable that this was allowed to happen and it suggests a failure of proper supervision. Were you called immediately? If she was left with this injury for a period of time that is another serious failure to discharge their duty of care. I would instruct solicitors to be honest.

GreyhoundG1rl · 05/11/2021 23:13

It happens with kids that age, but the fact that they didn't see it happen is a bit concerning.

WoWsers16 · 05/11/2021 23:14

Can I also say- yes children can bite - but there is a difference of biting on the arm - and biting on the face in my opinion. Biting on the face i feel shows more intent for harm x

ldfdyjxzyjkv · 05/11/2021 23:15

@Invisimamma

You need to ask nursery what measures they are putting in place to ensure it doesn't happen again and children are kept safe from harm.

Yes these things do happen, but this child seems to have form for it so needs closer supervision to prevent it happening in future or staff able to intervene quicker.
I would also ask why nobody saw it happen, it sound like quite a vicious attack, why did nobody see or hear in the first place?

Exactly. Do they have CCTV (I think some nurseries do), in which case as to see it (better ask your solicitor to ask for it). Someone wasn’t doing their job.
50ShadesOfCatholic · 05/11/2021 23:15

Oh it's awful when this happens, I feel for you.

Not sure there's much you can do though, toddlers do bite each other 😔

LiberteEgaliteBeyonce · 05/11/2021 23:16

It happens in a flash. When I got bitten by DS, sometimes I dodged it, sometimes I didn't.
You'd have to have a member of staff glued to the child all the time to prevent it and this might mean reducing care to other children in the nursery because kids to staff ratios are not 1:1. It's not easy.

Blueeyedgirl21 · 05/11/2021 23:16

I feel it would take more than a split second for this to happen? Also get it checked out because there are lots of nasty bacteria in mouths so might need antibiotics just in case

ldfdyjxzyjkv · 05/11/2021 23:16

@Notimeforaname

I would be threatening to sue them okeydokey so🤣
Good on you. People do take civil action for these types of things clearly you have no idea.
Original poster
nova99 · 05/11/2021 23:16

The bite looks worse than it is probably, but it's the deep scratch on the other cheek that's worrying. I don't want it to scar. As someone mentioned above it may well do.

As suggested I'll give them a call on Monday and ask what plans have been put in place for this child and how that will then protect mine.

OP posts:
MrsSkylerWhite · 05/11/2021 23:16

We had gentle children too and I’m gobsmacked at the number of respondents who seem to think this is normal behaviour for a 2 year old. It isn’t. 1, maybe. 2, absolutely not.

Yes, I would get your little one checked out: I was told by a doctor that human bites are amongst the most dangerous, right up there with cat bites.

Blueeyedgirl21 · 05/11/2021 23:17

For example the face has to be bitten, plus several scratches be inflicted. That is more than a quick nip on the hand when a kid has a toy another kid wants. There has to be some purchase behind it to gouge that deep with nails. Did the child not make noise whilst doing this? Shout/screech? Did your dd not scream/cry? Bit worrying they found her after the event

PickAChew · 05/11/2021 23:18

The other toddler is probably only 2, too. Your complaint should be to the nursery for lack of supervision.

AnneLovesGilbert · 05/11/2021 23:18

Poor you and poor your DD Sad

Hope the doctor checks her out and her face heals quickly.

Telling you no one realised what had happened till she was hiding in tears and shock is fucking awful. And as the child had already attacked others the same day means they should have been supervising them much better.

Do you want to keep her there? They’ve shown they can’t keep her safe.

Spudina · 05/11/2021 23:18

You can’t exclude a 2 year old ffs. But you can make sure you give them one on one care, even if that means hiring agency staff.

ldfdyjxzyjkv · 05/11/2021 23:21

@thanksamillion

How is the nursery meant to provide 1:1 at the drop of a hat? Do you think they have spare staff just sitting around? And who will pay for it? Yes they need to monitor the child and probably put a behaviour plan in place (which you can ask to see) but no, they won't be able to do what some people are suggesting on here.
That’s why the child should be excluded
PickAChew · 05/11/2021 23:22

@WoWsers16

Can I also say- yes children can bite - but there is a difference of biting on the arm - and biting on the face in my opinion. Biting on the face i feel shows more intent for harm x
The face is the nearest thing to bite. It's not a matter of intent