Another toddler attacked and bit my child's face

[nova99]

Dd attends a local nursery and she came home today with a huge dark red bite mark covering half her cheek. Nursery called me in the afternoon to tell me this had happened. However when I went to collect her she had a the huge (very swollen) bite mark, a scratch on her head, a bloody scratch on her chin and a deep scratch that looks like it had been bleeding in the other side of her face with lots of little scratches around it.
She looks like she's been mauled and I'm absolutely horrified.
Nursery staff told me that another child had done this to her. However they said they could hear her crying and went to find her hiding in her sleep area and saw the marks. They were apologetic, said the child in question had bitten other children that day and they will be talking to the child's parents.
It just doesn't feel like enough. She's only just turned 2. She's a quiet, delicate little thing which makes this all the more heartbreaking.

I'm so angry. It's not like a few little scratches. I'll need to take her to the doctor for the scratch and the bite alone. She complained of pain in her cheek so I gave her calpol.

What can I even do? Who can I even complain to? I know kids rough and tumble but honestly this is something else

Skyler as I said earlier, I cannot exactly remember how old he was.
But if you think my child is/was not normal, ok then.

A toddler gets bitten by another toddler at nursery in a seemingly one-off incident and we’ve got talk of assault, attack, trauma, threats of legal action, cctv, exclusion, paediatric plastic surgeons and child psychologists.

The OP said it wasn't one off, did it to other children too, and how has this kid managed to cause multiple cuts, scratches, as well as the bite? That's not even remotely ok nor would I consider it a normal toddler bite. They've bitten and clawed at somebody's face. What if they caught the other child's eye?
The more I sit and mull this over, the more I think that child should be asked to leave the setting if parents don't want to front the cost of 1:1.

@FloconDeNeige

This thread has gone mental.

A toddler gets bitten by another toddler at nursery in a seemingly one-off incident and we’ve got talk of assault, attack, trauma, threats of legal action, cctv, exclusion, paediatric plastic surgeons and child psychologists.

Absolutely fucking batshit.

Yes. I am going to go now! Bye everyone!

Today 23:53 canonlydoblue

@MrsSkylerWhite

My neurotypical two year old has bitten. What a ridiculous statement to make“

All I can say with adult children and a grandchild and 7 nieces and nephews is that’s not my experience.
Biting is very common for one year olds. If they are still doing it at two, then they ought to have been taught that it’s not something they can do.

Obviously, if they only started doing it at two that’s different, but it needs to be addressed urgently in that case.

@LiberteEgaliteBeyonce

Paediatric psychologist? Blimey! Funnily enough though, the nursery workers never assessed my child as having mental health issues. And I'd like to think that they have a good deal of experience.

Personally if my child was biting other children I would want to understand why they are doing it. Nothing to do with ‘mental health’ but rather about finding out what they are so frustrated and unable to express themselves, and lacking in empathy towards other children (here I am talking about 2 year olds +). As a parent I would want to know the drivers for the behaviour.

@FloconDeNeige

This thread has gone mental.

A toddler gets bitten by another toddler at nursery in a seemingly one-off incident and we’ve got talk of assault, attack, trauma, threats of legal action, cctv, exclusion, paediatric plastic surgeons and child psychologists.

Absolutely fucking batshit.

Fine, you can take what minimising view you want. It is absolutely an attack and why should a child be given any less protection that an adult that suffers the same injury? The child was found cowering alone with a deep tissue injury in a place that should be protecting her - it is disgusting and totally unacceptable. The nursery have a legal duty of care, that really isn’t so difficult to understand. I know a child with a lasting facial scar from an attack like this - they need to properly treated and not fobbed off by a GP.
But yeah let’s shrug and say ‘it’s just kids’

If your child is biting other children at two years old, you’ve got something wrong.
Most one year olds bite. That’s when you do something about it.

@MrsSkylerWhite

You made a very sweeping statement that a two year old that is biting must be on the spectrum. As a mum of five (all of whom have bitten at some point in their formative years) and a teacher who has worked in early years, primary and special education for 14 years this is not my experience at all. The majority of children go through a biting phase which can be nipped in the bud very quickly. My two year old does it very rarely in cases of extreme frustration - its like her final line of defense before she loses control. I've seen biting from children up to around five or six. Very few of them had a diagnosis.

What more do you want to happen?

Seriously

I'd be up in arms if my two year old had his face bitten at nursery. I'd be seriously considering taking my child out. At the very least I'd want assurances that it wouldn't happen again and that they're being properly supervised.

canonlydoblue

@MrsSkylerWhite

You made a very sweeping statement that a two year old that is biting must be on the spectrum. As a mum of five (all of whom have bitten at some point in their formative years) and a teacher who has worked in early years, primary and special education for 14 years this is not my experience at all. The majority of children go through a biting phase which can be nipped in the bud very quickly. My two year old does it very rarely in cases of extreme frustration - its like her final line of defense before she loses control. I've seen biting from children up to around five or six. Very few of them had a diagnosis.“

Whatever your experience, biting at 5 and 6 years old would (should) ring alarm bells.

@MrsSkylerWhite

If your child is biting other children at two years old, you’ve got something wrong. Most one year olds bite. That’s when you do something about it.

Biting by 3 may indicate a concern, biting at 2 does not

@FloconDeNeige

Personally if my child was biting other children I would want to understand why they are doing it

I think that would be reasonable for YOUR child. You’re coming across on here as deranged, so it would be a fair assumption that your offspring might also have something going on.

For almost everyone else’s kids though, the most likely reason would be that its because they’re a toddler.

Aren’t you a delight? Pathetic.

I think people are minimising too, I'd be furious if my gentle girl (I don't have one) was mauled in a place she was meant to be safe. She could be traumatised by this.
I had a very gentle boy and if this happened to him I'd be looking for a childminder or somewhere else where he would be safe.

@Notimeforaname

I dont think you need to go to the doctor for a scratch or bite do you ? I've been bitten by and seen many bites happen, at the hands of toddlers...never known anyone to go to the doctors about it...

From the NHS guidelines

If the bite has broken the skin, you should seek immediate medical attention after cleaning the wound.

Do not delay seeking help untilsymptoms of infectionappear.

Minor bites can be treatedatyour GP surgery, or by staff atyour localwalk-in centreorminor injuries unit.

For particularly severe bites, visityour local A&E department.

YoungGiftedPlump

MrsSkylerWhite
If your child is biting other children at two years old, you’ve got something wrong.
Most one year olds bite. That’s when you do something about it.
Biting by 3 may indicate a concern, biting at 2 does not“

Okay. Agree to disagree.

@FloconDeNeige

Personally if my child was biting other children I would want to understand why they are doing it

I think that would be reasonable for YOUR child. You’re coming across on here as deranged, so it would be a fair assumption that your offspring might also have something going on.

For almost everyone else’s kids though, the most likely reason would be that its because they’re a toddler.

This has been reported.

And this gem: Biting on the face i feel shows more intent for harm

Yeah - those 2 year old psychopaths are really tricky, aren't they?

Not saying the nursery shouldn't be looking into this, and putting a plan in place for the child, but to suggest this was some kind of calculated attack is... upsetting. Imagine if this was your child. Be a little more understanding- behaviour is communication. Once his words come in, he will probably calm down.

It's not like he can do anything about his options for communicating either. He's still constructing his world - tons of children are being let down because parents are facilitating this through a device rather than conversation, imaginative play and reading.

I remember when my little sister was a toddler I was playing with her and another little girl about the same age (friends house) came over all nice and went to hug my little sister but instead she
suddenly grabbed my sister's face out of no where, dug her nails in and bit down as hard as she could. I was so shocked (I was only 10 and just started screaming and pulling this girl off). This little girl, I think was quite aggressive for a while and we never went back to their house mostly because my parents were upset the dad joked about it saying she was "their guard dog." while they did apologies it was upsetting my little sister had 2 small scars for a good couple of years but it did eventually go. It can happen I know with some kids and really quickly. I think the only thing to do is have a rule where they do exclude the bitting child if it happens as a regular pattern. Why should kids go to nursery to be bitten and scarred. If it becomes regular pattern the kid should have some sort of plan in place and if the nursery can't fulfil the child's needs the parents will have to find somewhere that can.

@Notimeforaname

I dont think you need to go to the doctor for a scratch or bite do you ? I've been bitten by and seen many bites happen, at the hands of toddlers...never known anyone to go to the doctors about it...

Ah I think you do. I worked in a Primary School and a child bite me several times. I was seeing my GP anyway and showed him the damage. He sent me straight to A& E after phoning them. A bite from a human is worse than a dog bite. Tetanus and Hepatitis need to be checked. My tetanus was up to date but I needed a hepatitis injection.

Please take your child to their GP.
That sounds like too much happening to one child. Who was in the room? Kids can be quick but there seems too many injuries for the time span. I would be making a list of questions that I wanted answers to. Also ask about forward planning. Kids do sometimes bite and it can be quick but prevention is needed in the future.
I have worked in Nurseries...private and LEA.

I hope your child is alright they may not want to go in and might need lots of reassurance.

@MrsSkylerWhite

My sons best friend bit him when they were in year one (he was six at the time). Just leaned over the table and bit him on the arm hard enough to leave an impression. His mum was mortified as he'd never done it before. Guess what, he's not done it since either. Kids bite. Kids learn. No alarm bells needed.

I have been on both sides of this.
DS (now diagnosed as autistic) was a biter. It was awful as parent. his childminder was amazing bit concluded that he need one on one supervision ( 2hich ended up being DH and me- a financial hell and career fucker but hey ho).

DS2 was.bitten and eventually we took him out as the nursery was shite.

I think that would be reasonable for YOUR child. You’re coming across on here as deranged, so it would be a fair assumption that your offspring might also have something going on

Jesus Christ. Time to put down the wine I reckon.

I'd be furious. It sounds like quite a lot of marks, and I'd wonder how long they were left unattended for this to happen without someone intervening.

They knew the other child was a biter and should have been keeping closer watch on him/her or keeping that child separated from the others, if possible. I'd be expressing extreme concern about this and let them know I expect better. If they don't seem to take it seriously enough, I'd look for another nursery.

That’s terrible. Your DC should have been being comforted and kept close to a staff member for reassurance, not on their own in a corner after an injury like that. I’d personally remove, not so much because of the biting but because obviously your DC did not feel comforted and reassured if you found them cowering in a corner! Also it sounds like they didn’t even clean the wounds if there was dried blood.

I’ll never forget DS2 being bitten at nursery at around 18 months. Not once but 3 times on his cheeks all on the same afternoon. I immediately removed him as I thought one bite is happens but to not closely shadow the biter to ensure he didn’t do it again was neglectful to say the least. The nursery also hadn’t forewarned me before I picked him up. Furious doesn’t cut it, not at the biter but at the nursery.

I’d be strongly telling the nursery that as they know they have a biter, they should be ensuring that child is closely monitored so it doesn’t happen again or you will remove yours. They have a responsibility to protect your DC from harm, even from other DC!