Another toddler attacked and bit my child's face

[nova99]

Dd attends a local nursery and she came home today with a huge dark red bite mark covering half her cheek. Nursery called me in the afternoon to tell me this had happened. However when I went to collect her she had a the huge (very swollen) bite mark, a scratch on her head, a bloody scratch on her chin and a deep scratch that looks like it had been bleeding in the other side of her face with lots of little scratches around it.
She looks like she's been mauled and I'm absolutely horrified.
Nursery staff told me that another child had done this to her. However they said they could hear her crying and went to find her hiding in her sleep area and saw the marks. They were apologetic, said the child in question had bitten other children that day and they will be talking to the child's parents.
It just doesn't feel like enough. She's only just turned 2. She's a quiet, delicate little thing which makes this all the more heartbreaking.

I'm so angry. It's not like a few little scratches. I'll need to take her to the doctor for the scratch and the bite alone. She complained of pain in her cheek so I gave her calpol.

What can I even do? Who can I even complain to? I know kids rough and tumble but honestly this is something else

One of my charges (I'm a cm) was a biter and the first time it happened was just awful - we were at a baby gym type place and he crawled into a tunnel and another toddler crawled in the other end. He's quite feisty so knew he might try and push his way through so dashed leg end to try and get him to back out (or pull from the legs if need be) and the next thing I hear is a bloody-curdling scream and the other child came out with a bloody great bite mark on her cheek and a huge scratch down her cheek. The skin was broken and by the time the poor (rightly horrified) mother left it was swollen and bruised. I had to do an accident report for my own records and the leisure centre (& for the parents) and whilst it was truly awful, I genuinely couldn't have seen it coming or prevented it.
I did have a very tough few months as I literally couldn't take my eyes off him or be more than a step away when he was playing with other children (& definitely no soft play or groups) as he made multiple attempts so I would focus my efforts on their strategy going forward to keep your lo and other children safe and it's very unusual for a biter to only strike once.

"How dare you make an accusation "maybe I gave my child a smack"

Tbf there are posters on here who advocate adults biting back to teach a lesson.

Some children at two do not have the cognition to understand that others feel what they are feeling when hit or bitten. Or they do not have the self regulation to manage their own behaviour.

Not physical pain ffs an example of a time he'd relate with.

@BlueberrySugar wise up.

It’s very obvious you don’t actually have children of my own. My son has tried to bite other children at nursery although the staff always stop it. We are working on it at home too but seriously - it’s nothing we have done that makes him so. As a PP said, it may well be frustration about his inability to communicate.

He most definitely is not a “horrible little shit.” Awful way to describe a child.

“She has been put on antibiotics” bollocks she has.

She absolutely will have done. Standard practice.

@BlueberrySugar sorry, just read your post again - you have a two year old who has never bitten someone. Well done you; you’re lucky more than anything else.

"That toddler is a horrible little shit."

Ds tried to bite others. In fact he still sometimes does. He is severely disabled. How lovely of you to consider him a "horrible little shit".

@iklboogiemaninthecloset if you’re in the U.K. it is absolutely not “standard practice” to prescribe antibiotics without infection I have no idea why people talk so confidently on subjects they clearly know nothing of.

I used to be a terrible biter, I'm from a very loving home didn't want for anything etc. And was I have been told very well behaved pre and post my biting phase. I'm now a successful adult, I can be quite feisty and impatient though so maybe that was it coming out as a two yo.

It must have been so awful for you though OP, and whilst yes these things do happen in a flash, what OP describes seems like it was caused by a more 'sustained attack' so I certainly don't think it's beyond the pale for the op to question how well the children are being monitored.

@BlueberrySugar I imagine most of the toddlers who bite grow up to be nicer than you. Image calling a toddler a horrible little shit, only a deeply unpleasant person would say such a thing. I have been very lucky in that none of my children have been biters, that doesn’t make them better than any of the little ones who did bite. Toddlers have very little impulse control and don’t yet realise that others feel pain too.

@Whereis - I work in a medical field. Antibiotics are prescribed for human bites. It even says it on the NHS website.

If the bite has broken the skin, you should seek immediate medical attention after cleaning the wound.
Do not delay seeking help until symptoms of infectionn_ appear.
Minor bites can be treated at your GP surgery, or by staff at your local walk-in centree or minor injuries unitt.
For particularly severe bites, visit your local A&E departmentt_.
The healthcare professional treating you may:
• clean the wound and remove any damaged tissue
• prescribe a course of antibioticscs_ to prevent infection*
• recommend specific treatment to prevent infections such as tetanus if you're felt to be at risk
• close the wound with stitches if the risk of infection is thought to be low – high-risk wounds will usually be left open as this means they're easier to keep clean
• arrange blood testss to check for infection, or an X-rayy to check for any damage to your bones and see if there's anything embedded in your wound, such as a tooth
• refer you for an assessment by a specialist if the bite penetrated a joint or there's severe damage, such as damage to bones or nerves – surgery may be needed in these cases
• if you're bitten by a person with hepatitiss or HIVV, there's a tiny chance of the infection spreading if the bite is contaminated with blood, so you may be offered treatment to stop you becoming infected

[quote 3WildOnes]@BlueberrySugar I imagine most of the toddlers who bite grow up to be nicer than you. Image calling a toddler a horrible little shit, only a deeply unpleasant person would say such a thing. I have been very lucky in that none of my children have been biters, that doesn’t make them better than any of the little ones who did bite. Toddlers have very little impulse control and don’t yet realise that others feel pain too.[/quote]
I've got 6 GC, one was a biter, usually his brother. I'd say he has the nicest, kindest nature of the six of them. It was a phase, lasted a few months and I agree with you that at that age they really don't understand about pain of the person they are biting. I think it can sometimes be linked to the back teeth coming through.

calling a two year old "a horrible little shit" reveals an awful lot about a poster...

[quote iklboogiemaninthecloset]@Whereis - I work in a medical field. Antibiotics are prescribed for human bites. It even says it on the NHS website.

If the bite has broken the skin, you should seek immediate medical attention after cleaning the wound.
Do not delay seeking help until symptoms of infectionn_ appear.
Minor bites can be treated at your GP surgery, or by staff at your local walk-in centree or minor injuries unitt.
For particularly severe bites, visit your local A&E departmentt_.
The healthcare professional treating you may:
• clean the wound and remove any damaged tissue
• prescribe a course of antibioticscs_ to prevent infection*
• recommend specific treatment to prevent infections such as tetanus if you're felt to be at risk
• close the wound with stitches if the risk of infection is thought to be low – high-risk wounds will usually be left open as this means they're easier to keep clean
• arrange blood testss to check for infection, or an X-rayy to check for any damage to your bones and see if there's anything embedded in your wound, such as a tooth
• refer you for an assessment by a specialist if the bite penetrated a joint or there's severe damage, such as damage to bones or nerves – surgery may be needed in these cases
• if you're bitten by a person with hepatitiss or HIVV, there's a tiny chance of the infection spreading if the bite is contaminated with blood, so you may be offered treatment to stop you becoming infected[/quote]
I thought it was the scratch that broke the skin not the bite? You wouldn't get antibiotics for a bite that didn't break the skin would you?

@ancientgran yes my sons best friend was a biter as a toddler. He is 11 now and the most polite kind lovely child, I’m sure he was lovely as a toddler too just an occasional biter.

Biting is quite normal at this age as a reaction to frustration. It's not ok to call a 2 year old a little shit. The issue here is poor supervision, once you know a childer is a 'biter' especially to that degree, they should be watched all the time.

My child would be removed from the setting immediately. It's not the other child's fault, the staff have failed both kids.

YANBU a public flogging in the town square of both child and parents is called for!

Another one who thinks that biting is a common and normal toddler behaviour but it doesn’t follow that it’s something you have to put up with if you use childcare.

My son’s been in nursery for nearly 2 years and has never been bitten, touch wood. There has been one incident when he tried to bite another child (when hungry and tired) but the staff stopped him. They monitored him closely for quite a while afterwards and tried hard to avoid any situation where he got too hungry or tired. And it’s never happened again.

But my friend’s son is at another nursery and he’s going through a biting phase. They just hand her an incident form and complain at her every time it happens - no action plan to prevent it recurring, no effort to identify the triggers, nothing. As if his mum can do anything, he’s 18 months old and never does it at home!