Daughter refusing to wear most of the clothing she owns

[Pinklilly123]

Is this normal?

She’s 7. Won’t wear jeans (mostly as they aren’t comfortable which I understand), won’t wear anything too girly or flowery, no dresses or skirts. She puts them on and changes her mind. It’s honestly infuriating me! She begs me to buy things in shops which I will because I just want her to wear something that isn’t a holey pair of leggings in black or grey and a grey or black hoody. She won’t wear anything but this even to parties. I buy stuff they she removes the tags and never wears it. We try it on first if we can before buying but some changing rooms remain closed so that’s not easy. I replace leggings often but realistically they get worn a few times and they end up with holes or stains even m&s or gap ones. Her much loved hoody’s are so worn they make her look unkempt. Am I being unreasonable? Is this normal for a 7 yo? My friends girls are into pretty dresses still and will wear anything. Her style is so particularly it’s driving me around the twist not to mention all the wasted money and bags of practically brand new clothes I’ve given away to friends and charity shops

In your shoes, I'd go through her wardrobe and cull everything that she won't wear. Sell it on ebay and use the proceeds to buy a few good-quality basics in natural fibres. So no sequins, no scratchy materials, nothing shiny or polyester. But you could buy her a couple of pretty, loose-fitting jumper and jersey dresses just to give her an option if she wants to wear something different.

My 9 year old has pretty much only worn leggings since well before she was 2. I just let her wear what she wants, it is a battle not worth having. New clothes are hit and miss. If she likes something she will wear it forever, if not it quickly gets thrown to the side.

I have sensory issues with clothes and although I wear jeans (usually skinny) I find them exhausting. At night I have to wear shirt type cotton pyjamas in xxl although I’m a size 8/10. I can’t bear things tight on my waist but have to be covered in bed. I wouldn’t be able to sleep in anything else.
I am happiest in yoga tights and a long loose t-shirt but that doesn’t cut it for most of life.

As an adult I am able to rationalise my sensitivities but a child doesn’t have that agency. Stick with the leggings and hoodies for now. She will be better able to work with this as she gets older.

@astoundedgoat

Stop trying to dress her in the clothes you think she ought to wear, and listen to her - she wants to wear leggings and hoodies, so.... let her? It's not like she's trying to wear something mad or impractical.

H&M have leggings that are kind of thicker and almost fleecy on the inside, and they're nice and warm and don't get holes in the knee or crotch so quickly. Long hoodie that keeps her bum warm and you're grand.

My younger dd has always hated the way jeans feel behind her knees and refuses to wear them, although soft jeggings will pass if they're REALLY soft.

She's 7 and doesn't need to be smart, just clean.

Ok I’ll try the thicker fleecy ones as was worried with the winter coming she would freeze in thin leggings! It’s definitely an option

She's a kid. Buy her what she'll actually wear. Embrace her for who she is rather who you want her to be.

I've 3 girls and they would happily wear no matching items of clothing even each others clothes that are to small or too big, I'm happy to allow then to do this as I want them to be there's self, somedays it can be orange leggings and green hoodie ect other days it could be a summer dress in winter as long as they feel beautiful and comfortable I do not care, my middle child wore pink wellies all summer as they was her "best shoes" my pet hate is not wearing matching pj's this is really irritating

By far the best indescribable leggings hannah Anderson in the uS. You can buy online. Work so well yobu can hand them down. Very durable clothes. My kids worse leggings and t shirts at that age

Yes it’s common I think! I’d get her a handful of other items but invest most of your money in leggings and hoodies/ fleeces. If it’s all she wears look for more expensive brands like frugi and polarn o pyret and sports leggings as they will last longer and look and fit better.

Indestructible not indescribable

I never took mine shopping at that age. Leggings, t-shirts and jumpers appeared as if by magic in their drawers and that was it as far as they knew. They had favourite t-shirts but didn't realise I'd chosen them from a shop! We've never lived near shops though.

Yeah mine was the same, and I was guilty of buying her lots of things too. Now we don’t do that - she has her favourites and a much smaller wardrobe and we’re both happier with that!

I’d let her wear what she wants and plans her wardrobe around that, don’t waste your money on clothes you wish she would wear. At 7 she’s old enough to decide what she wants to wear. This isn’t the hill to die on!

She sounds like a moody teenager who lives in leggings and hoodies. I wouldn’t say this is normal for a 7yo.

@MangoIce

She sounds like a moody teenager who lives in leggings and hoodies. I wouldn’t say this is normal for a 7yo.

Even though this thread is full of posters who have said that their child is/was the same? Just because she’s wearing leggings and a hoodie for comfort, it doesn’t mean she’s moody.

DD (11) has been like this for a few years too. She lives in leggings, hoodies, and "belly tops". We tend to go to new look and primark and I'll buy her these short tops in bigger sizes so, to her, she's wearing a belly top but, to me, her midriff is covered.

I think lots of DCs are quite opinionated about clothes from a young age. I know most of the DCs in my family were. As everyone has said, don't make it a battle. Buy what she wears and if she asks for items that you know she isn't going to wear then say no. That's the only part where you're indulging her atm.
Mountain Warehouse have great hardwearing trousers, leggings and hoodies; and they have some nice patterns too if you both decide you want something a bit fancier for parties.
My DC hates labels, complains about clothing being itchy, etc, but I've never had a single complaint about the Mountain Warehouse clothes, even the Winter Trek trousers which are waterproof and fleecy. Plus they last for ages. My DC manages to wear out the knees on supermarket leggings really quickly.

I'm 49 and scruffy. Sensory issues, so can only wear soft, worn clothes. It's a PITA...

Why are you forcing her to wear flowery dresses. My girls are 10 and 7 and neither like dresses. They will go to parties in leggings and hoodies. There is nothing wrong with this.

And it's sensory issues. They find clothes itchy. They won't wear socks that are a bit old and stick. They like soft cotton and baggier clothes.

My daughter is 6 and wanting to pick her own clothes.. sometimes much to my disgust she picks some awful things and I try and change her mind 😅 I am lucky she's quite girly though!

Honestly though, dont think there's much wrong with your daughter wearing leggings and hoodies, even more so this time of year. My daughter wears some nice longline hoodie dresses that are a cross between a hoody and a dress. Would that be option? H&M is good I find.

I was and still am very particular with what I wear. As a child and now I can't bear certain materials etc. My mum tried to force me to wear things I didn't like. So I definitely wouldn't force her to wear things that she wouldn't be comfortable in. I hated some of it! My mum was prone to buying dresses that were ott for daily wear though!

OP, these are the thicker leggings someone already mentioned from H&M. Mine lives in them

www2.hm.com/en_gb/productpage.1009288002.html
www2.hm.com/en_gb/productpage.0620208001.html

Send back any that has glitter or lumps on the inside. They'll be itchy and you can't always tell from the photos. Also, I buy them fleeces and hoodies from Joules. They love them and they are very warm.

I’ve lived this life. It is frustrating but remember you are dealing with a child who possibly doesn’t know what they want. They don’t what is available!
With my dd I drew the line and dirty, and holey and too small. I remember a huge fight at around 8 or 9 around about dressing appropriately for an event. It probably wasn’t my finest hour. Happy for her to warm and comfortable.

Moving forward to 13 year old she has clear ideas about style. It works for her. It is very pretty and flattering. Lots of baggy jeans and big shoes/ docs. We had recent drama about what she would wear to a funeral. Her problem was she didn’t know what to wear( with her smart jeans and docs) , in the end she went shopping with a close family member and found something. For me she needed to be comfortable. For her she wanted something smart but was her too. She just needed to find her way. Really relieved I could remove myself from the situation though and she got something she was happy with.

If she's asking for things in the shops and then refuses to wear them, then I'd tough it out and when she next wants some clothes tell her that she has to wear the ones she asked for, removed the tags from but hasn't worn. And stop her removing tags so things can be returned if she hasn't worn them after a couple of weeks (because if she really liked it she'd want to wear it straight away).

Dd has just turned 5 and is the same. She lives in leggings. Next are good for Multipacks. She wears crop tops but most of the time wears jumpers over them .the ones from river island are not that short , the leggings sit high waisted so she doesn’t actually show her belly . She clothes are very plain and unisex but she adds her own style with her hair bows ect.

Mine was the same at that age. She likes clothes but in reality just wanted to be comfy!

Literally ALL changed when she got to high school 🙄

Ok I’ll try the thicker fleecy ones as was worried with the winter coming she would freeze in thin leggings! It’s definitely an option

Thermal base layer underwear style leggings have been a suprisng hit with DD2 - after them all saying they wouldn't wear thermal underwear - we bought to solve a PE issue and she now wearing them under everything including school uniform trousers. We found loads on amazon.

I am very suprised things aren't lasting very long - it's not an issue I've experienced.

I image it's a sensory thing - all my children seem to have something along those lines- it's buying what they'll wear and then odd extra pecies of family as gifts or from charity shops - as with time tastes change and sensitivity can vary.

I can't say at 7 I was taking them on shopping trips - I might buy something they saw when we were out for a birthday/christmas but mostly it was me making the choices based on what they needed/wanted with MIL also buying fair bit - you allow their input match it with what they actually wear and what they need.

I remember DD1 being into big flouncy dresses this age - and still wanting to climb trees - then it was jenkins as she couldn't stand jeans now it's all jeans and T-shirts and stuff she's made herself. DD2 was all about leggings and jogging bottoms same age.