Daughter refusing to wear most of the clothing she owns

[Pinklilly123]

Is this normal?

She’s 7. Won’t wear jeans (mostly as they aren’t comfortable which I understand), won’t wear anything too girly or flowery, no dresses or skirts. She puts them on and changes her mind. It’s honestly infuriating me! She begs me to buy things in shops which I will because I just want her to wear something that isn’t a holey pair of leggings in black or grey and a grey or black hoody. She won’t wear anything but this even to parties. I buy stuff they she removes the tags and never wears it. We try it on first if we can before buying but some changing rooms remain closed so that’s not easy. I replace leggings often but realistically they get worn a few times and they end up with holes or stains even m&s or gap ones. Her much loved hoody’s are so worn they make her look unkempt. Am I being unreasonable? Is this normal for a 7 yo? My friends girls are into pretty dresses still and will wear anything. Her style is so particularly it’s driving me around the twist not to mention all the wasted money and bags of practically brand new clothes I’ve given away to friends and charity shops

Stop trying to make her wear girlie stuff, just let her wear what she likes. Also stop buying all those clothes!!!!

Take a look at Uniqlo?

My daughter would only wear leggings from age 5 to secondary school.

The first time she wore trousers with a button and zip was school uniform in year 7.

She’s 15 now and lives in jeans.

H and m leggings didn’t last.

Next were good.

Why not just let her wear leggings and hoodies? I genuinely don't see what is wrong with that?

Much like me lol

Both my ds and dgs were like this. Would only wear soft, shapeless clothing. A lot easier with boys though.
Both by about 8 started to wear stiff jeans.
I think your dd will grow out of it in time.

I agree with stop buying her new clothes. I'd stop even discussing what she's wearing. Let her wear what she wants but no new clothes until she's grown out of something.

DD (8) is like this. We’ve concluded she has sensory-processing issues - have a read up on sensory-processing disorder and see if it fits?I’ve learned over time what she can tolerate. She likes mostly cotton clothing, preferably with no seams. She can’t bear tights but will wear leggings. We buy seamless socks from the Sensory Smart store (expensive but the only ones she finds comfy). We have a strict rule that she can’t remove the tags until she’s 100% she will wear them. I’d say it’s about 50/50 of what I buy that she chooses to wear. I don’t buy stuff where you can feel plasticky images from the inside. Best shops I find stuff in are Next, Peacocks, Tesco F&F. She still has a limited wardrobe but she likes what she has.

Friends dd same age will only wear black or grey leggings with black or grey hoody. Shes channeling her inner teen

A few points:

• why should a 7 year old need to look smart? Surely a 7 year old's priority should be clothes that are comfortable to play in.
• ditto PP who say stick with comfortable basics, joggers, leggings, t-shirts hoodies. There is no reason she should have to wear a dress.
• don't focus on boy or girl stuff - she is a child first and foremost.
• quality doesn't matter too much as she'll be growing massively and you'll be replacing things on a regular basis.
• look for brands that do unisex clothing. H&M have some lovely hoodies for £8.99, M&S unisex school joggers in black or navy (2 pairs for £16) are really good quality and my DS likes to wear these out of schools, next basic t-shirts (£5 )each are lovely and thick. If you want to spend a bit more boden raglan sleeved or breton t-shirts wash and wear well.

My 8 year old boy hates jeans because they don't allow him to move, he lives in onesies at home (H&M have sweatshirt fabric ones which are great) or joggers, t-shirt and hoodie.

My 8 and 6 year old DD’s will happily wear anything but I tend to buy leggings and hoodies as they’re the most practical.
Im just wondering how you wash clothes, as it’s unusual for things to look scruffy after just a few wears? I buy from places like H&M or Sainsbury's and they usually last a season before they need replacing. I bought a batch of H&M hoodies and leggings in September for the winter and I’m not expecting to replace them until they grow out of them.

My DD would always dress for comfort and still does.
Her go to was leggings or jersey dresses with footless tights. You can still look tidy and I used to buy nice colours and prints.
Some of the most durable leggings I have bought were from Lands End. Online/catalogue - always good offers, don't buy anything full price!

Oh and mine haven’t asked for crop tops but I wouldn’t buy any in November, they’re hardly practical for the winter!

Just buy good quality leggings & hoodies?

M&S, Gap, H&M, John Lewis, Boden (they always have vouchers & offers).

You could also try Adidas hoodies & tracksuits?

Then just get her converse or sketchers or some proper trainers from Schuh (again they do offers)

I wouldn't let my 7 year old wear crop tops either, nothing wrong with that.

She's only 7. Stop giving her so much control. Don't take her to shops and let her convince you to buy things. She's probably overwhelmed. Plenty of adults buy shit in shops they don't want.

Get her a 3 pack of basics in the black and grey she likes, then don't engage in any fights about clothes (that's attention seeking) and make it all very boring, rather than such a big issue. Get dressed or lose privileges, just keep it simple and don't engage.

My dd has been like this since she was tiny. Now she’s older (early 20s) she chooses mostly to wear leggings with T-shirt’s. Occasionally will wear jeans and dresses depending on the occasion. She def has had sensory issues so can only wear certain fabrics that are the right texture. She chooses her own clothes as I had a long while if buying things I thought she could bear the texture of but she couldn’t wear them. Alongside sensory issues other things that have affected clothes wearing for her have been low self esteem, body dysmphoria and I think undiagnosed autism. I wouldn’t make it into an issue let her wear what she’s ok with. If there are events she needs to dress up for let her choose something she can wear comfortably, There is no point trying to force a child with sensory issues into wearing particular clothes. They end up with increased anxiety about it and bigger problems to unravel. 💐

Move towards good quality jumper dresses and leggings as a 'smarter' compromise.

If you can add a pair of knee or ankle boots, or even ballet flats, you'll get your 'smart' look, without making her wear clothes she doesn't like.

My DD lives in leggings - always has; she hates all other forms of pants and hates having bare legs - and whilst she can and has worn 'frilly' dresses for some properly 'posh' occasions (where the adults were in Black Tie), we've done meals out, theatres, parties and all sorts on a variation of the leggings/top/skirt or leggings/jumper dress/even leggings under summer dress plus boots/flats/sandals.

The right combination of leggings/boots (particularly if you can find knee boots) etc can actually look very chic and stylish, if a little alternative in a young child.

Sounds like she enjoys being comfy and perhaps with 3 brothers she wants to wear similar to them? Or that’s just her style. I have 4 boys so no experience of dressing a girl but if she’s not interested in pink/dresses then that’s fine not all women wear skirts and dresses etc.
M
Bonus it must be quite cheap to dress her but I would say no to the stuff she points out and never wears. My son has additional needs and wears jogging bottoms every single day they are comfy he has lovely soft t shirts no tags etc. He’s quite happy. I get him patterned joggies for weekends so they aren’t all ‘school’ uniform bottoms but def helps as these are easy items to pick up in town and cheap.

Mum of 3 daughters. They all went through this. Honestly its normal and my girls would wear some bizarre combinations but I've always been of the mind that they wear what they feel comfortable and confident in. Two of my daughters have sensory issues so jeans were ruled out for many years but I'm the same too. She may want you to buy the dresses etc as she might be feeling she should be wearing them and then regrets it when she actually has to wear them. Maybe buy some smart casual clothes for her when you go somewhere special but just let her wear what she's comfortable in. As long as she's clean and happy I would just go with the flow. Xxx

Stop trying to dress her in the clothes you think she ought to wear, and listen to her - she wants to wear leggings and hoodies, so.... let her? It's not like she's trying to wear something mad or impractical.

H&M have leggings that are kind of thicker and almost fleecy on the inside, and they're nice and warm and don't get holes in the knee or crotch so quickly. Long hoodie that keeps her bum warm and you're grand.

My younger dd has always hated the way jeans feel behind her knees and refuses to wear them, although soft jeggings will pass if they're REALLY soft.

She's 7 and doesn't need to be smart, just clean.

Stop buying the girly clothes and skirts. Just replace the leggings and hoodies when needed

My son has no desire to wear impractical dresses and uncomfortable fabrics. He prefers joggers and t shirts and hoodies. Preferably well washed and soft.
So why would a girl be any different?

My dd was the same. So many unworn clothes throughout the years. She went through a stage at about 6 of only wanting to wear one dress at home and one particularly washed out school blouse and two washed out school skirts. I managed to get a size up in the skirts and washed them to death before swapping them over but the size up in blouses was slightly different. So many issues with school uniform in primary.

Her sensory issues have improved a lot now at 13. Then there was the stage maybe in yr6 she wanted all new clothes - a different style and no dresses, which she’d practically lived in until then so I bought a whole new wardrobe eg a bunch of leggings, 3 jumpers and she only ever wore one jumper, had a favourite a couple of pairs of the leggings etc. And some were not right as no one else had them etc. So an element of trying to fit in.

Don’t listen to suggestions of not buying your dd clothes and chucking out those with holes in them. It will cause her massive distress. With my dd, I would insist she wore nicer clothes if we were going somewhere special. But she liked party dresses, possibly as they were pretty, soft and silky.

If I could do my time again, I would not buy as many things. The problem was, like you, we would get things home, take the tags out and she’d find something wrong with them (itchy) or just say she’d changed her mind. She still does it now. But now it’s for fashion reasons, to fit in, as she has now the ability to know when something isn’t comfortable.

I get it. It’s really really frustrating and wasteful. Charity shops had a field day.