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AIBU?

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Original poster

Upset by comment my Dad made

244 replies

wateringthenightgarden · 31/10/2021 20:29

Recently went to my parents house, the conversation ended up with us talking about families that can not afford to have heating on in their home, my Dad who is in his 60's said he didn't have heating in his house until he was 23 and he didn't moan about it and that people will just have to wear coats and jackets to keep warm.

I was upset at my Dad's comments as we're not living in the 60's and 70's anymore when my Dad was a child when it might have been acceptable not to have heating in your home.

OP posts:
TabithaTiger · 31/10/2021 20:31

Oh god my Dad says stuff like this all the time! He's a Daily Mail reader, it drives me mad. The easiest thing to do is roll your eyes inwardly and change the subject. There's no point arguing as you won't win.

Pumpkinsonparade · 31/10/2021 20:33

Team dad here..
We can't afford the heating on. Still paying last winter's bill.. Dc wear pj's and a onesie when they come in after school..

SpaceshiptoMars · 31/10/2021 20:34

Why does this upset you? If the governments of the world don't get their act together, we will have worse to face than not switching on the heating. The next 10 years are going to make the 60s and 70s look like the garden of eden. Buckle up, it's going to be a rocky ride.

Thepennysjustdropped · 31/10/2021 20:35

It was normal, it's true. We didn't have central heating when I was young and I don't remember being cold. We had the fire in the living room and kept all the doors closed to keep the heat in, then had a cold bedroom but loads of blankets and a hot water bottle. But it is sad to think of people who have to choose between eating and paying bills - you're right that it just shouldn't be happening in this day and age. But don't be hard on your dad or be upset - it's what he's used to.

Tricked2003 · 31/10/2021 20:37

People survived for years and years before central heating was the norm!!! I'm not saying that the energy price hike isn't terrible but your dad is entitled to his opinion.
My first home when I got married had a gas fire in the living room and an immersion heater for hot water........it wasn't great but we managed........that was in the late 1980s.

Tailendofsummer · 31/10/2021 20:39

Why was it ok to be cold in the 60s and 70s OP? It isn't ok to have to wear coats in the house to be warm. But I'm certainly encouraging my dc to put a jumper on rather than reaching straight for the thermostat, I've got far to accustomed to doing that myself.

GinIronic · 31/10/2021 20:39

Why are you upset? Not everyone has central heating even now.

ParkheadParadise · 31/10/2021 20:41

We didn't have central heating or double glazing until I was in my teens.

Keepitonthedownlow · 31/10/2021 20:42

I understand your frustration, it's not necessarily about heating, it's about poverty.

DismantledKing · 31/10/2021 20:43

Bit of an overreaction really

BrutusMcDogface · 31/10/2021 20:43

I don’t think there’s any need to be upset. It’s just his age/ generation. My dad keeps the house pretty cold (in my opinion) to save money! I got my mum one of those massive fleece hoodies. It’s ok; he is from the “waste not, what not; make do and mend” ilk. Hasn’t done him (or us) any harm.

5foot5 · 31/10/2021 20:43

We-e-ll. I am nearly the same age as your Dad.

The house I up grew up in only had a coal fire in the living room. In the winter we put a parrafin stove in the kitchen to take the edge off. Upstairs we had no heating at all. You took a hot water bottle to bed and the bathroom was freezing.

My first house after I left Uni had no central heating, just a gas fire in the living room and an immersion heater for hot water. In fact it wasn't until the first house DH and I bought together in 1989 that we had central heating.

Having said all that I would now find it very difficult to go back to an under heated house. But I am not sure why you find his remarks upsetting. People in the 60s and 70s were just the same as people now, you just made the best of it.

In fact I must admit that I can see that we may all have to prepare ourselves for being a bit more stoic in the future about the temperature of our houses what with fuel prices and so on

ThePoisonousMushroom · 31/10/2021 20:45

I don’t really understand why it upset you? I mean, I get that it’s slightly irritating, but why upsetting?
My dad sometimes tells me about the winters in their cottage when he was a child, and the windows used to freeze on the inside. They certainly didn’t have central heating!

Macaroni46 · 31/10/2021 20:46

I honestly don't see what there is to be upset about?
He stated a fact and is entitled to his opinion. As are you OP.

blissfulllife · 31/10/2021 20:46

I'm team dad too. We don't put the heating on till we can see our breath lol (ok exaggerating a bit lol)!. My kids naturally just put their dressing gowns on and we are sat here tonight on the sofa with a furry throw over our laps. Our energy bill shot up by 75% and I've been diagnosed with MS this summer so no longer have a full wage coming in so needs must. But I've never naturally had the heating on a constant 18 degrees like most people.

SpookyS · 31/10/2021 20:47

Why would this upset you?

EinsteinaGogo · 31/10/2021 20:48

Maybe the OP's dad is a baby boomer, who now owns a house and has a good final salary pension.

Maybe he lived through those times as a young person but benefited from improving welfare and workplace support.

Maybe he's like many of those of his age, who have no idea of how lucky they were, and that these privileges aren't on offer to current / future generations.

Namenic · 31/10/2021 20:48

I guess it helps seeing a route through it if energy prices keep rising.

Knowing that even within living memory (and still in several parts of the world) people live in poor conditions can make a reduction in living standards easier to bear. My family have been in 3 countries in 3 generations with ups and downs - the story of pulling through even if the chips are down is hopeful to me. I am fortunate currently but know that it could all change.

Angel2702 · 31/10/2021 20:49

We didn’t have heating until from 2002 until 2011 in this house. Only a gas fire in the living room. So not as long ago as you think. I’m sure there are people that still don’t have central heating.

VladmirsPoutine · 31/10/2021 20:49

Yanbu and judging from the responses it's clear why so many people are suffering in this country - the romanticisation of suffering is particularly British. "I had to walk 10 miles, hike through a mountain and cross a river to get to school" therefore everyone else must suffer too. This is why we remain voting for the same parties who continue to demolish the social fabric of society.

HideousKinky · 31/10/2021 20:50

I am always annoyed when my DDs turn up the thermostat whilst wearing only a T-shirt! I think many homes are overheated these days and it's possible to use less heating by wearing more clothes

Benjispruce5 · 31/10/2021 20:51

I remembered waking up in my Nan’s flat and seeing my breath and my face being really cold. We were happy though. There are worse things.

HeadPain · 31/10/2021 20:51

I wouldn't still be thinking of his comment and coming onto MN to make a thread about it. Direct this "upset" energy elsewhere, not at your dad. No point. It's not him causing this issue for people. He's just speaking on his experience.

Iggly · 31/10/2021 20:51

While he may not have moaned about it (I bet he had selective memories), what’s wrong with wanting to have a better world for everyone instead of a race to the bottom!

How far back do we go before we stop trying to punch down to that level? Eg 200 years ago we didn’t have flushing toilets. 100 years ago, no central heating? Shall we regress and just crack on?

YukoandHiro · 31/10/2021 20:51

@SpaceshiptoMars that is patently nonsense... there are some major political and social issues that we face at the moment but your comment is complete hyperbole.