Upset by comment my Dad made

[wateringthenightgarden]

Recently went to my parents house, the conversation ended up with us talking about families that can not afford to have heating on in their home, my Dad who is in his 60's said he didn't have heating in his house until he was 23 and he didn't moan about it and that people will just have to wear coats and jackets to keep warm.

I was upset at my Dad's comments as we're not living in the 60's and 70's anymore when my Dad was a child when it might have been acceptable not to have heating in your home.

Nothing to do with money. The heating gives me headache.

@SweetMaryHell how do you keep your hands warm?

[quote MrsCardone]@SweetMaryHell how do you keep your hands warm?[/quote]
Keep them under the blanket

@SweetMaryHell the whole time? You don't cook, or do housework, or go on your phone? Or anything else that requires hands?

I remember single glazing, no central heating and much harsher winters as a child. We often had ice form on the inside of the windows in the bedrooms overnight.
Fast forward to my own home, and with double-glazing and central heating, our bedroom, once it’s over 21 degrees, is nigh-on impossible for me to get a good night’s sleep in.
It wasn’t until I went camping for the first time in my 30’s that I realised I actually sleep better if I’m in a warm bed in a cold room, so I do think that people’s expectations of ambient temperature have changed, and also - people sit around more these days, so feel the cold more as a consequence (not judging anyone for sitting around - it’s just that there’s less effort to get the essentials done what with all our appliances and other conveniences nowadays)!

@MrsCardone

I always chose food. Being hungry is really awful.

It's interesting, isn't it? Sure, being hungry is awful but I really cannot stand being cold. My joints ache when I'm cold, my back seizes up and as for working - forget it. I cannot type with stiff fingers and I cannot type in gloves. I've tried.

As much as I love food, if there was a day when I had to choose between the two, I'd go a day without food rather than heat.

It’s not usually just one day though. After a few days of no food, you may reconsider.

@ThePoisonousMushroom It was a hypothetical situation illustrating how I would rather be warm than full. It’s about priorities. My PIL for example will NEVER put the heating on. No matter how cold it gets. Yet they invest money in antiques and go on expensive holidays.

@MrsCardone

I always chose food. Being hungry is really awful.

It's interesting, isn't it? Sure, being hungry is awful but I really cannot stand being cold. My joints ache when I'm cold, my back seizes up and as for working - forget it. I cannot type with stiff fingers and I cannot type in gloves. I've tried.

As much as I love food, if there was a day when I had to choose between the two, I'd go a day without food rather than heat.

I'd probably do the same if it was a matter of one or two days. It's not, however.

Well if it was just me I'd probably choose food but I think in 2021 people shouldn't have to choose between feeding their children and keeping them warm.

I get what he's saying. I grew up in cold old houses but we always had a fire in the hearth and that makes such a huge difference physically and psychologically. Its folks that are cold and don't have a roaring fire and a hot bath and then warm clothes that I feel sorry for. How many houses have no fireplace now? Loads.

Waking up with freezing windows in a cold bedroom isn't the worst thing in the world when you know you can run downstairs in your dressing gown and sit next to the fire.

FFS! All these posters talking about not having central heating or not putting it on...

My parents would light the coal fire
I would put the immersion heater on for a bath
We had the gas fire in the living room
We have the Rayburn in the kitchen
my wood burner (we get free logs)

Do you ever listen to yourselves?

• the people tugging at the OP's heartstrings do not have a fireplace, or an immersion heater, or a gas fire, or a Rayburn, or a wood burner.

You do know you can turn the radiators on in your living room and turn them off upstairs?
We had central heating growing up, it just wasn't on very much. I much prefer having it on! But will try more to add a layer first this winter for both financial and environmental reasons.

I grew up in a house with only coal fires for heating. In the morning, DM would light all the gases on the hob so that the kitchen was warm.

My DH grew up in a house with central heating, but my PIL never put it on. They still don’t. They have enough money, they’re just tight.

DH says his overriding memory of childhood is of being cold .

I have the gas hob on at this very moment MrsCardone to warm the kitchen up.

It’s his opinion, are you upset every time he has a different outlook to you?

He is probably basing it on a realistic view of what is going on at present.

He isn’t in a position to cause people to not have heating, it isn’t his decision, so why be upset at him?

Img. This brought back memories ( snd I'm only in my 40's!

huddled around the "superser" heater in the kitchen in the morning eating out cornflakes ( careful not to burn your socks)

Sofa moved closer to the electric fire in the living room. And lighting the coal fire in the morning using newspapers

Ice literally forming in the inside of the windows of my bedroom

Hot water bottles to bed.

Careful to remember to turn the immersion heater off

And you know what, I think we actually had central heating. I think it either wasn't that good, too expensive or both

[quote MrsCardone]@ThePoisonousMushroom It was a hypothetical situation illustrating how I would rather be warm than full. It’s about priorities. My PIL for example will NEVER put the heating on. No matter how cold it gets. Yet they invest money in antiques and go on expensive holidays.[/quote]
Not being funny, but i don't see how this is comparable to people discussed in the OP. Prioritising investments in antiques and expensive holidays over putting the heating on is a preference and a privileged position - the former aren't essential.

It really really isn't the same as choosing between heating or eating.

@Thepennysjustdropped

It was normal, it's true. We didn't have central heating when I was young and I don't remember being cold. We had the fire in the living room and kept all the doors closed to keep the heat in, then had a cold bedroom but loads of blankets and a hot water bottle. But it is sad to think of people who have to choose between eating and paying bills - you're right that it just shouldn't be happening in this day and age. But don't be hard on your dad or be upset - it's what he's used to.

Agree, I was born in the early 70s, we lived in an old sandstone property in Edinburgh with sash windows and no central heating, my parents had renovations done around 1984/85 with a grant from the Council to put in double glazing and central heating.

Before that, we had little electric heaters in bedrooms, a gas fire in the living room and electric blankets on the bed. I don't really remember ever being very cold.

@SpittinKitten I am just pointing out that some people do not see heating as important. I am assuming the OP’s father is one of these people.