Page 4 | Upset by comment my Dad made

madnessitellyou · 31/10/2021 21:29

My first flat had no central heating but storage heaters that I couldn't afford to run. That was 2003.

My best friend's house didn't have central heating. That was the 1980s/90s. Really not sure why you are so upset about what your dad said tbh.

EwwSprouts · 31/10/2021 21:30

You don't have to be that old to have lived without central hating. My first house in the late 80's didn't have central heating or double glazing. It had a gas fire in the lounge and I used to have a little electric fan on in the bedroom for half an hour before bed. It wasn't fun but it was all I could afford.

StrychnineInTheSandwiches · 31/10/2021 21:30

This is standard Dad fare, nothing to be upset about. See also: 'we used to walk 5 miles to school in the snow', and 'that's not music, that's a racket. Perry Como, that's music'.

'put another jumper on' was my mother's response to 'it's cold' back when I was a kid in the 80s and the heating never went on until 6pm.

Buttercup54321 · 31/10/2021 21:31

Why are you being a snowflake OP?
And why on earth do you thing it was acceptable not to have heating in the 1960s and 70s? How insulting. People had to manage as best they could. It wasnt a choice!!!!!
I agree with your Dad. Perhaps you need to grow up!!!!

DoesHePlayTheFiddle · 31/10/2021 21:33

I’ll bet he has a lovely winter fuel allowance

In his sixties? I'm in my sixties. I don't get a pension or any other benefit and I certainly don't get a winter fuel allowance.

RB68 · 31/10/2021 21:33

Theu often had at least one central fire either gas or coal though andwhilst I grew up in early 70's M&Ds first house which i remember we had one main fire in the living room and two storage heaters for the whole 3 bed house. At aged 8 we moved to a house with central heating and lived through ridicuous interest rates and fuel costs in the late 70s. You went to bed with extra covers, hot water bottles and yes bedrooms were kept cooler - i still think its healthier to be honest. As shown by the need for ventilation to hold virus spread at bay. But actually we are probably talking about massive price rises for some. Our LPG which does heating is going up by 8p a litre approx 20% we were just saying today good job it wasn't a few years ago as we couldn't have managed, at the time we were on very restricted timings and hot water use, much reduced food bills (Currently we are spending triple what we were then and most of that is actual price rises rather than more buying. )

But there will be a large number of people this is ging to hit really hard because there is no leeway in budgets, on top of a tightenin of benefits and removal of the 20 quid Covid pyt it all adds up to some desperate times

Lightisnotwhite · 31/10/2021 21:34

@Keepitonthedownlow

I understand your frustration, it's not necessarily about heating, it's about poverty.

It wasn’t about poverty before though, central heating just wasn’t the norm. So you can see why he doesn’t think it’s a problem.

We’ve got climate change to worry about now, maybe it will be the norm again.

Cameleongirl · 31/10/2021 21:35

I think he was just being factual, OP, but I also appreciate your point that people shouldn’t have to choose between food and heating.

I do think we’ve forgetter just how tough it was in the 1970’s though. Inflation was in the teens, it got over 20% at one point, I’m sure people couldn’t afford a lot at that rime. There were mass strikes-I’m 47 and even I can vaguely remember sitting in candlelight and my Mum heating up a tin of beans on a camping stove due to the power strikes! So I’d be patient with him, he’s had a different life experience to you.

ThatNameAgainItsMrPlow · 31/10/2021 21:35

Waiting for the massive drip feed where op tells us why she’s actually upset

TeeTotaller1 · 31/10/2021 21:35

I'm a few years younger than your Dad and I've not put my heating on yet. DD in her late 20's hates the heating on, we wear socks and an extra layer.
It's how he lived, it's not a bad thing him saying how it was.
There's far far worse things going on in the world to be upset about.

riceuten · 31/10/2021 21:35

@wateringthenightgarden

Recently went to my parents house, the conversation ended up with us talking about families that can not afford to have heating on in their home, my Dad who is in his 60's said he didn't have heating in his house until he was 23 and he didn't moan about it and that people will just have to wear coats and jackets to keep warm.

I was upset at my Dad's comments as we're not living in the 60's and 70's anymore when my Dad was a child when it might have been acceptable not to have heating in your home.

People of that age feel there is some virtue in suffering - character building and all that kind of drivel. I would certainly pick my Dad up on it if he said that (but he wouldn't!).

JudgeJ · 31/10/2021 21:36

@Tailendofsummer

Why was it ok to be cold in the 60s and 70s OP? It isn't ok to have to wear coats in the house to be warm. But I'm certainly encouraging my dc to put a jumper on rather than reaching straight for the thermostat, I've got far to accustomed to doing that myself.

Maybe not coats but people seem to dress the same way all year round. It was certainly the case at school, no coat or jumper, only wearing a short sleeved shirt then expecting the classroom to be a mini Hawaii.

kitcat15 · 31/10/2021 21:36

Your Dads right IMO.... and even if he wasn't hes entitled to his opinion in his own home....I have no mortgage ....a good wage and no longer have dependants but think twice these days about putting my heating on....I'm currently sat in front log burner ( we get free wood) .....my back room and kitchen are toasty.... rest of house pretty cold but will be in bed soon so doesn't matter ......no reason for you to get upset 🙄

BathshebaKnickerStickers · 31/10/2021 21:36

My mum and I lived in a council flat from 1988 - 2005. That was what circumstances had given us..

Due to the shape of our home my bedroom had 3 outside walls with no insulation.

We lived in central Scotland.

Genuinely the temp in my bedroom on many mornings was below zero. Ice one the inside of the window because it was single glazed and sash windows.

It was what we had at the time.

Now my mum is over 80, still in Scotland, and this year the Scottish government are giving her £300 allowance for heat in the winter and the power companies allow that to mean she will be warm all winter.

It’s not a badge of honour. We survived it and we went through it together but I’m glad it’s no longer an issue.

ThePoisonousMushroom · 31/10/2021 21:37

My grandma didn’t have central heating when I was a child, and I’m only in my 30’s. She had a gas fire in the lounge and storage heaters in the bedrooms. 2 thick blankets and a duvet on each bed when we slept over on a Saturday night. Telling you that isn’t ‘romanticising’ anything, it’s just fact.

vdbfamily · 31/10/2021 21:38

DH and I both btw up in houses heated by fires. I remember ice on inside of bedroom window. My ridiculous teenagers ponce around the house in barely more than underwear in middle of winter demanding we turn up the heating. We hear house at 19° and consider that fine. If you need to be warmer, wear slippers and hoody or dressing gown.
I do think people expect their houses to be far too warm and heat through night as well.
However I do also think that some houses can be great too cold and obviously fuel poverty is a thing for too many.

lap90 · 31/10/2021 21:38

Ah yes, the suffering Olympics.
Brits love it.

ShinyHappyPoster · 31/10/2021 21:38

From an environment pov it's better to wear layers than turn up the heating.
I'm not that old but I grew up in a house where you put extra layers on and had hot water bottles.
DH always turns up the heating. I find it a very privileged position to turn up the heating without thinking about it - both from a financial and environmental cost.

Cocomarine · 31/10/2021 21:39

I grew up in a house with no heating upstairs (blankets and a hot water bottle) and only a coal fire in the lounge and an aga in the kitchen. Single glazing. However, it was a well built and well ventilated house. Yes, it was single glazed - but there were no loose panes and drafts. There was no mould, no damp. A lot of the people who can’t afford to heat their homes now also have the double whammy of being in utterly shit housing.
Of course there was loads of that in the 70s (my childhood) too - and every decade. But I think it’s important to compare like with like.
If your dad had my childhood - good house, coal fire - and doesn’t recognise that some of the people who can’t afford heating now don’t have that - then he’s an arse.

KatherineJaneway · 31/10/2021 21:39

YABU

He is telling you how it used to be and he was right. I remember no central heating and the windows rattling in our home, it is just how it was. If I said I was cold, I was told to put a jumper on and / or stoke the fire.

theremustonlybeone · 31/10/2021 21:40

your wound up by your dads comments. Instead of being wound up you should be shocked that people lived like that. I used to visit my grampa and it was a coal fire and we had multiple layers of bedding to keep warm.

Instead of being wound up you should be grateful you havent experienced that. Power cuts, and outside toilets

Cameleongirl · 31/10/2021 21:40

@lap90

Ah yes, the suffering Olympics. Brits love it.

@lap90. It’s not “the suffering Olympics,” though, it’s factual!

Nanny0gg · 31/10/2021 21:41

What's to be upset about?

JackieWeaverHandforthCouncil · 31/10/2021 21:41

I understand why this upsets you OP. I bet your dad is one of them who romanticises his childhood where nobody had much. It was probably normal for his whole street not to have heating when he was a child.

However, as he aged, things got better, life expectancy grew, healthcare outcomes improved, poverty levels reduced. He may have got free tuition through uni, probably bought a nice house on a single salary and retired with a final salary pension, goes on a nice annual cruise.

He then probably repeatedly votes for governments that kick the ladder from those coming up behind him. Saying he didn’t have heating when he was a lad is irrelevant as general living standards today should mean that is a thing if the past.

My DM used to go to a communal washing place where you washed your clothes and had a good bath once a week in the 1960’s because she and her neighbours were poor. She says a few things I don’t agree with but she would never be so dense as to watch a news story in England 2021 where some poor mother was crying about having to share communal bathes with her whole street and that her working DH has removable collars on his shirts to pretend they were clean as they can only be washed once a week and say ‘well we did that in the 60s and survived’. She’d be wondering what the hell went wrong as she would be hoping/expecting things to have progressed.

Some people will not be content until we are literally living like just post WW2 with busted up buildings and rations. There are strong cultural traits in this country that are so weird to the point of being nihilistic and quite scary. You notice it if you go away for a bit and return.

Notimeforaname · 31/10/2021 21:41

I'm only 34. We didn't get heating in our house til I was 14..so 2001/02 ish.. before that we had one gas fire in the sitting room.
As pp said lots of blankets,warm jammies and hot water bottles.

Couple of years ago my best friend was diagnosed with cancer ,she simply couldn't afford to put the heating on for all of winter. She wore big dressing gowns and blankets at home. Its what you do when you need to/have no other option.