Page 5 | Upset by comment my Dad made

wateringthenightgarden · 2021-10-31T20:29:28+00:00

Recently went to my parents house, the conversation ended up with us talking about families that can not afford to have heating on in their home, my Dad who is in his 60's said he didn't have heating in his house until he was 23 and he didn't moan about it and that people will just have to wear coats and jackets to keep warm. I was upset at my Dad's comments as we're not living in the 60's and 70's anymore when my Dad was a child when it might have been acceptable not to have heating in your home.

felulageller · 31/10/2021 21:43

There's a big difference between no heating and no central heating.

People may not have had radiators but coal fires were warm!

catsandhens · 31/10/2021 21:45

There is a difference between people not having the heating on because central heating didnt exisit, and people not having the heating on because they are too poor to afford to put it on.

In a country with this much wealth people shouldnt have to be cold because of poverty.

There are of course arguments to be made about carbon footprints, global warming, the consequences of having the heating on too much, but telling your child to put a jumper on before turning the heating on is very very different to not being able to put it on because you cant afford it.

The conversation was about poverty but got turned into 'well I used to have to do that so whats the problem)

It also ignored the fact that a lot more people had open fires in the 60s and 70s. New houses and flats tend to be built with less or no fireplaces so its a very different senario.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 31/10/2021 21:48

It's shit living in a house with no heating.

I grew up not knowing what chilblains were, not because I was warm, but because I wasn't told there was a name for the itching and burning of my feet and fingers in case I told somebody at school. The sink and bath were frozen up regularly, so you couldn't have washed even if you were a) allowed and b) wanted to get that cold when there wasn't any way of getting warm again. I looked forward to the windows icing up, because it made my bedroom warm enough to breathe without watching it come out of your mouth all night.

Many people would say it wasn't that bad, but when you know you didn't change into clean clothes because it was too cold to get undressed, you didn't wash, you didn't have a warm hat, socks or coat and you were constantly told that you were making a fuss about nothing and not to tell anybody that you were cold all the bloody time and relied upon a cat sleeping on you every night to keep you warm (she was very good for that, but how many people would be happy with a cat sleeping on the chest of a six year old because she was too cold to sleep without her?), it was utterly shite.

BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou · 31/10/2021 21:49

We didn’t have heating installed in this house until the late 90s when I was pregnant - until then we just had the coal fire and an immersion heater.

My neighbour doesn’t have central heating but does have a gas fire in one room and an immersion heater for hot water.

I do still put on a jumper if I’m chilly.

Dodie66 · 31/10/2021 21:52

We didn’t have central heating. Just put lots of blankets on the beds and coats too sometimes. We had frost on the inside of our bedroom windows. The only heating we had was a fire in the living room and a coke boiler in the kitchen which heated the water. Lots of jumpers snd warm clothing. Seems like we will have to do that again this winter. We are only heating one room at the moment. Wearing a cardi in bed over my thermal nighty to keep warm

Gastonia · 31/10/2021 21:52

It's very different not being able to afford heating when you're living, say, in the north of Scotland, compared with, say, the south of England.

It's easy enough to just wrap up warmer in the southeast, where we are. We've not had to put our heating on at all yet.

raspberrymuffin · 31/10/2021 21:54

There's a difference between no central heating and no source of heat at all. Before central heating, homes in the UK had fireplaces and stoves in which they could burn fuel to stay warm. OP's dad is unfortunately full of shit or being extremely disingenuous. Other than extremely rural homes or those who've had a wood burner put in for fun, most homes now don't have ANY OTHER SOURCE of warmth so when people can't afford to put their central heating on they aren't huddling around the fireplace for warmth, they've got literally nothing.

But also, even if people did literally freeze in the winter 50 years ago, why would it be a good thing for that to still be the case, in one of the richest countries in the world where we can easily afford for everyone to be warm and eat food?

StaplesCorner · 31/10/2021 21:57

@SpaceshiptoMars

Why does this upset you? If the governments of the world don't get their act together, we will have worse to face than not switching on the heating. The next 10 years are going to make the 60s and 70s look like the garden of eden. Buckle up, it's going to be a rocky ride.

I think things today are ALREADY making the 60s and 70s seem like that

SierraJulietGolf · 31/10/2021 21:57

NeverDropYourMooncup. Similac experience minus the cat. My main memory of childhood is feeling sick with cold for months on end, chilblains , doing anything to put off getting out of bed in the morning, getting dressed in bed, coming home from school and helping to get dinner ready still wearing our coats because it was just too cold to take them off. I remember the doctor coming to see me when I was ill with tonsillitis and him telling my DF it was no good giving me a hot water bottle when the bedroom was freezing cold. That there are still people having to live like this 60 years on is such a horrible thought.

CoolOven · 31/10/2021 21:57

Why are you upset? Not everyone has central heating even now

Indeed not. We don't. It's quite a big house and would cost a fortune to install.
It's really only cold for 3 or 4 months of the year. We have an electric heater in the hallway, and whichever room we're in. Woodburning stove for when it's very cold. And lots of fleecy Jim jams.

LilQueenie · 31/10/2021 21:58

Difference is now we have houses made with better insulation and it makes lack of heat an issue. It can lead to mold issues. One of the reasons we need heating is to heat the house and stop it from going damp.

Gastonia · 31/10/2021 22:01

On an entirely other subject, where I remember it actually was better in the 1970s...
I remember the doctor coming to see me when I was ill with tonsillitis
So do I. Those were the days! Now, you can't even get through to the doctor on the phone...

Cocomarine · 31/10/2021 22:02

@CoolOven

Why are you upset? Not everyone has central heating even now

Indeed not. We don't. It's quite a big house and would cost a fortune to install.
It's really only cold for 3 or 4 months of the year. We have an electric heater in the hallway, and whichever room we're in. Woodburning stove for when it's very cold. And lots of fleecy Jim jams.

Which is very different to having no heat source (that you can afford).

There is such a difference going to bed warm but into a cold room, and spending all your evening cold right through your bones and then going to bed cold too. Day after day.

EinsteinaGogo · 31/10/2021 22:05

@NeverDropYourMooncup

It's shit living in a house with no heating.

I grew up not knowing what chilblains were, not because I was warm, but because I wasn't told there was a name for the itching and burning of my feet and fingers in case I told somebody at school. The sink and bath were frozen up regularly, so you couldn't have washed even if you were a) allowed and b) wanted to get that cold when there wasn't any way of getting warm again. I looked forward to the windows icing up, because it made my bedroom warm enough to breathe without watching it come out of your mouth all night.

Many people would say it wasn't that bad, but when you know you didn't change into clean clothes because it was too cold to get undressed, you didn't wash, you didn't have a warm hat, socks or coat and you were constantly told that you were making a fuss about nothing and not to tell anybody that you were cold all the bloody time and relied upon a cat sleeping on you every night to keep you warm (she was very good for that, but how many people would be happy with a cat sleeping on the chest of a six year old because she was too cold to sleep without her?), it was utterly shite.

I'm really sorry you had to live like that.

Muchmorethan · 31/10/2021 22:06

Not sure what there is to be upset about. Your Dad was just saying what he experienced and was expressing an opinion

Wineandroses3 · 31/10/2021 22:07

What’s the problem? Your dad is spot on.

darklindor · 31/10/2021 22:07

I always promised myself that when I grew up I would have a sofa that went down to the floor, no wind whistling round the backs of your legs and Granny's Tartan burns up the fronts.

I spent much of my childhood freezing, couldn't even read in bed because your hands were too numb to turn the pages, hated it.

I'm warm now and intend staying that way.

AnnaBegins · 31/10/2021 22:08

I grew up in the 90s. We had no central heating. We stayed in the living room with the fire until bedtime, then had hot water bottles in our beds. Ice would form on the insides of the windows.
I will do everything in my power to ensure that my children never have to experience that. It's not a mark of character to live through something like that. Times change and acceptable standards of the past are not comparable.
We are in the fortunate position that I can ensure my children have all the heating they want, but the energy price rises make me so worried for others. It's unprecedented and it saddens me that some have no empathy. Sadly the rose tinted spectacles are strong for some like your dad.

bakingdemon · 31/10/2021 22:08

There was a chat on here recently where someone said they wanted it to be 23 degrees inside their house all year round so they could just wear t shirts. Which is madness. So much energy wasted when we should be accepting that to stay warm in the winter the first step is to put more layers on. So your dad has a point.

LoveGrooveDanceParty · 31/10/2021 22:09

Odd thread.

Are you coming back to it @wateringthenightgarden?

traka · 31/10/2021 22:09

Your dad didn't moan about it because he didn't know any different

When my dad was a kid they had about three channels on the TV and it was black and white. He didn't moan about it because he didn't know any different

saraclara · 31/10/2021 22:09

What he’s used to? She said the man is in his 60s, I’ll bet he has a lovely winter fuel allowance, people with young children don’t get that. My dad also talks shite about the good old day and how tough his generation is, with a house as hot as the fucking Sahara that’s a freebie

Oh FFS, pack it in with the ageism @Takemetothe90s.

There's no winter fuel allowance unless you're well over 65 AND get some form of Social Security benefit (not UC). And it will go nowhere near to paying more than a month or so's heating. So your dad's heating is not a freebie unless he gets free energy some other way. And if he qualifies for SS then he needs that month of heating paid for, frankly.

Djifunrsn · 31/10/2021 22:10

He's from different times, just let it go. It was common not to put the heating on until November when I was younger. When we lived in a terrace, dh wondered if the heat would come through from the houses either side and we wouldn't need to put on our heating!

ThePoisonousMushroom · 31/10/2021 22:10

What he’s used to? She said the man is in his 60s, I’ll bet he has a lovely winter fuel allowance, people with young children don’t get that. My dad also talks shite about the good old day and how tough his generation is, with a house as hot as the fucking Sahara that’s a freebie

Eh? My parents are both over 60 and neither get a winter fuel allowance?

MrsCardone · 31/10/2021 22:11

Has anyone else noticed that miserly people just don't feel the cold?