Upset by comment my Dad made

[wateringthenightgarden]

Recently went to my parents house, the conversation ended up with us talking about families that can not afford to have heating on in their home, my Dad who is in his 60's said he didn't have heating in his house until he was 23 and he didn't moan about it and that people will just have to wear coats and jackets to keep warm.

I was upset at my Dad's comments as we're not living in the 60's and 70's anymore when my Dad was a child when it might have been acceptable not to have heating in your home.

@EinsteinaGogo

Maybe the OP's dad is a baby boomer, who now owns a house and has a good final salary pension.

Maybe he lived through those times as a young person but benefited from improving welfare and workplace support.

Maybe he's like many of those of his age, who have no idea of how lucky they were, and that these privileges aren't on offer to current / future generations.

What a load of rubbish. My parents and PIL were/are of that generation. I grew up in a council house that had no central heating upstairs and just a vent in the two rooms down stair that blew out slightly warmed air and was cold and we got on with it- hot water bottles, layers of clothes, calor gas heaters. They moved into another council house that had heating after I left and loved the heat- although my dad was very cautious with it, worried about paying the bill even though he and my mam both worked really hard. DH's parents were slightly younger and bought a house- it had no central heating at all until DH was 10. They worked hard and paid for everything they have- remortgaging to fit central heating, new bathrooms and kitchens. They had a mortgage for 35 years because of re-mortgaging. Neither of our parents inherited money. Mine left very little. None of them forgot what it was like to live as they did. Get over your resentment- it is misplaced for most people.

On an entirely other subject, where I remember it actually was better in the 1970s...
I remember the doctor coming to see me when I was ill with tonsillitis
So do I. Those were the days! Now, you can't even get through to the doctor on the phone....

It is quite hard to believe looking back. And even in the mid 80s when my DC were growing up our GP still did home visits if they were really unwell with a stomach bug or chicken pox etc. The other week I uploaded a photo of a rash i had onto the surgery’s online appointment request form. It’s a different world. Better in many ways, worse in others.

It’s isolating for children too.

I don’t routinely put my heating on. I work from home and use a small radiator, I wear turtle dove gloves, fleece blanket… it’s for the environment, to save money, and because it was the norm for me growing up to layer up.

I’m very lucky that I can afford to put the heating on, but I choose not to.

But when my teen has a friend over - on it goes. Sometimes, they arrive unexpectedly and I’ve heard them say, “why is your house so cold?” and mine laughs and says, “cos my mum thinks it’s the 70s!” And on the heating goes. She’s not embarrassed or ashamed, because everyone knows it’s a choice. She doesn’t have to avoid having friends over, because she knows the heating can go on whenever she wants.

(Not that I’m saying anyone should be ashamed - but of course some people are.)

It has a wider impact than just being cold.

Well I often remind my kids we didn’t have Netflix or internet 20 years ago and they are horrified so I wonder what they’ll tell their kids about. Don’t worry about it..people have probably done this since time immemorial lol

I agree with him to the extent that I do think we need to wrap up warm indoors when the weather turns cold and not rely on the heating whilst wearing a T-shirt.

I do think heating is necessary but in the interests of the planet we need to wear warm clothes in the winter and use the heating as little as possible.

Type “what is poverty 1960s Nottingham” into you tube and watch that, it’s filmed in St Ann’s in Nottingham in the 60s absolutely fascinating if you like social history. Maybe you will understand your dads generation a bit more if you watch it.

Didn't have double glazing or central heating at my parents house until after I moved out in 1997! Just had a gas fire in the living room! The bathroom was freezing in winter!

Pyjamas were track suits and we took hot water bottles to bed.

Central heating is still a luxury many cannot afford.

I dont know whats daily mail about it. It happened. I'm 60 and we had no heating at all until I was 15. No double glazing either. And rats. Winters were much colder then too.we didn't die.

Welcome to MN @wateringthenightgarden. Maybe you’ll come back and tell us why it was so upsetting that your dad just shared his opinion with you?

Why are people so proud to have cold houses.
My mum and dad talk with pride about how much they saved from not heating the house, and about telling you to put another jumper on.

Trying to keep the heating off for as long as as possible.
I remember being cold. All the bloody time.
Walking around with a dressing grown on. Keeping my hands under the covers.
Hating getting up in the morning.
Or hating to go to bed as upstairs was even colder. Hating having to get undressed because it was soooo cold. It’s miserable.

If you can’t afford heating that’s a different matter.

I use an electric throw if I'm feeling cold but no one else is that if layers aren't enough. Usually when I'm busy I don't feel cold but if I'm relaxing around 8pm onwards I put on my throw and if it's not warm enough I turn it on. Its much cheaper to run than putting the heating on.

@GinIronic

Why are you upset? Not everyone has central heating even now.

I was shocked when talking to a colleague last week to find his family had no central heating, just a fire in one room. They seem to manage ok even with an elderly disabled person in the household.

I’m with your dad. My dps didn’t have central heating in the house until 2002. I’d already moved out by then. There was the fireplace in the living room and a portable gas heater in the kitchen. I’m 45.
We’d wrap up through the day, sit by the fires and take a hot water bottle to bed. Also, before we went to bed we’d have a convector heater heating our bedroom for a bit, so it wasn’t so parky. My wall had a fur cover to keep the heat in and I had a duvet and then a quilt on top to keep me warm at night.
We weren’t poor, my df was stingey, working class. Both parents worked.
Insulation is so much better than it used to be. The house had insulation added after the central heating was fitted. We don’t have heating in our house til October. It goes off end of February/March.
Blankets, jumpers, hot water bottles.

Did that really upset you? Slight snowflake reaction there. We have all managed when boilers break down and of course you can survive but it is not comfortable. It does drive you to work hard to save for the new boiler of course!!

They probably had some kind of heater though, 3 bar electric or a gas fire or real fire in some rooms. When I was a student none of the student houses I lived in had central heating they just had gas fires in each room. I used to wake up at 6am to put it on so it would warm the room before I had to get up. Yes my water glass froze over night. I will of course be telling my children these stories in the future, hahah.

When we have been without heating we just always went to bed really early with a hot water bottle!!

@raspberrymuffin

There's a difference between no central heating and no source of heat at all. Before central heating, homes in the UK had fireplaces and stoves in which they could burn fuel to stay warm. OP's dad is unfortunately full of shit or being extremely disingenuous. Other than extremely rural homes or those who've had a wood burner put in for fun, most homes now don't have ANY OTHER SOURCE of warmth so when people can't afford to put their central heating on they aren't huddling around the fireplace for warmth, they've got literally nothing.

But also, even if people did literally freeze in the winter 50 years ago, why would it be a good thing for that to still be the case, in one of the richest countries in the world where we can easily afford for everyone to be warm and eat food?

This

So many people going on about having no central heating but very warm coal and gas fires, when people now only really have access to central heating but cannot put it on at all. Wearing additional layers when you have a source of heating (fires) is completely different to not having access to any heating at all.

Honestly in the 5th richest nation in the world, is it really necessary for people to have to revert back to living conditions 60 years ago?

Why the race to the bottom? The competitive suffering Olympics are exactly why things will keep getting worse

Houses built before central heating existed tended to have fireplaces. The idea of no heat sources at all in a home is strongly associated with poverty. Humans in cold countries throughout history have usually had a fireplace of some sort.

Just want to clarify a point in a previous post.
All people who get a state pension get the winter fuel allowance. It is not income dependent. If you are over state pension age you get a one off payment of £200. If you reach the age of 80 you get £300.

The income dependent allowance is the cold weather payment. That is paid to people of any age that are on income related benefits. It is paid if the temperature drops to a certain level for a certain amount of time. I don’t know how much it is or for how long it is paid.

I do hope we get a mild winter this year given the steep rises in the cost of fuel. It is terrible to think that there will be people unable to afford to heat their homes.

Where are you OP?

Your Dad is right. The 60s and 70s really aren't that long ago. It was under Labour that there were all the power cuts. Central heating wasn't commonplace, you had a heater or coal fire just in the room you were in. It isn't a 'boast' from your Dad, more incredulity I think. It's a shame some people just think 'boomer' without understanding where he's coming from.

Of course, these days everyone should be able to heat their home. But I'm surprised at the number of people who say they're concerned about the environment but still keep the heating on full instead of wearing a jumper Surely if people didn't waste resources like this, there would be more to go round.

Agree with others who have said that gas fires (up until around 2000) were far more fierce than today. As a child the livingroom was always toasty, but the rest of the house freezing! Remember getting dressed under the covers or in front of the fire (and getting red blotches from sitting too close).

My first house was fairly small - one bed, two stories and if I came in from work and put the gas fire on with the doors shut the livingroom would be lovely and warm before I'd made tea, then I'd open the doors and the whole house would be warm before bedtime, then all heating off and snuggle under the covers til morning.

Can remember moving into a new home with a new style fire, very pretty, but pitiful heat. Had to buy heaters for every room.

I can remember eating my breakfast on the hearth rug in front of the electric fire because it was the only warm place in the house & getting dressed there. Thankfully my dad installed central heating not long afterwards. But I'm old enough to remember our old house that had damp, an outside toilet at the bottom of the garden, the louvre windows that let in the cold even when they were shut & my dad putting second hand storage heaters in the bedrooms so my brother & I would be warm at night & could play in our rooms. My mum managed with a twin tub washer until my brother was born when she saved up for an automatic one & she remembers that when her & my dad were starting out having to choose between having a fridge or a washer, the fridge won & she carried on going to the laundrette for a few more years. Our old house had no fitted kitchen, no heating, no inside toilet but it had love & happiness & that was what mattered.

It's just how it was and probably we will go back to that a little bit with rising fuel prices and climate change. We had no central heating upstairs in the house I grew up in - dad had it put in downstairs but felt it wasn't needed upstairs.

I keep our heat pretty low in our house - in New England and we've not switched it on yet. Usually have it on Nov 1 but it's turned mild now so will wait til mid week. Chilly last week (about 15-16 in the kitchen) so blankets on the sofa, fire lit in the living room and a hot water bottle at bed time!

He's being honest. My Nan had one fireplace for the whole house, the lounge was the only room that would get warm. It didn't spread through the house the same way heating does. My mum and dad lived there with her and they couldn't afford to put in central heating for a long time. So they were freezing in parts of the house.

They did use to have to wear jumpers and we layer up now before turning the heating up.