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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Furious with Nanny/House Manager

297 replies

Howtoworkandplay · 30/10/2021 18:12

NC as I really do not want to be outed just yet!

Have just returned from a stay abroad due to work, it took a week longer than originally planned.

We have the builders in at home doing a whole home renovation and I was the one that appointed, signed and agreed all work.

Whilst away, work has been agreed by someone other than me, and quite frankly they have ripped me off left right and centre. The builders that is! I would never have agreed to what they quoted and went ahead and did. Plus it is not really what I wanted anyway. Quotes about £15k above what it should be IMO.

My question is, should they have gone ahead with this when I was the one who has signed for work with them?

House manager acted in good faith I might add. Very loyal and trusted but not experienced in this kind of thing.

WWYD?

OP posts:
BergamotMouse · 30/10/2021 18:13

It sounds like a different world to the one I live in.

But no, all work should have been passed past you and agreed by you. I'd have thought your house manager would check with you though.

Something about this doesn't ring true to me.

Pissoi · 30/10/2021 18:14

You extended your trip by a week?! Was the nanny OK with that?!

Mamette · 30/10/2021 18:14

No I wouldn’t be furious with the house manager, sounds like they got caught in the middle or were pressured by the builder to make decisions there and then.

I would be furious with the builder though.

JuneOsborne · 30/10/2021 18:15

Eh?

ghostyslovesheets · 30/10/2021 18:15

House manager not to blame but you are furious with them?

I’d be very clear that no work would be agreed without permission from yourself before going away - did you stay in contact with your builder?

IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves · 30/10/2021 18:16

Why did your house manager not run these things past you? That's what they should have done.

Original poster
Howtoworkandplay · 30/10/2021 18:16

For context, I bought a modest 4 bed detached. I have one child and I am the main breadwinner. Not massively weathly, just thought I should point this out as it might read this way. Bought a house that has never been modernised etc so needs everything done. Hope that helps picture my situation.

OP posts:
3luckystars · 30/10/2021 18:16

I would take a bath in goats milk, that helps to calm the mind and you will be able to think clearly then. Good luck.

Nyxs · 30/10/2021 18:16

Why would you be furious with them?

You arranged work, went away which took longer than planned and never put arrangements in place for what happens when the work needs decisions to be made.

This is on you and the builder.

Firefightress1 · 30/10/2021 18:17

What's a house manager? is it like a house keeper?

3WildOnes · 30/10/2021 18:17

@Pissoi when I was a nanny for a very wealthy family it was normal for them to extend trips at the last minute. It made no difference to me- I worked 24hrs a day 4 days on and 4 days off, the other nanny worked alternate shifts to me and the housekeeper would fill in too if needed.

Nyxs · 30/10/2021 18:18

So who made the decisions the house manager? Or your partner/spouse?

Arrowheart · 30/10/2021 18:19

What's a house manager?

WheelieBinPrincess · 30/10/2021 18:20

You should have been more explicit.

I bet it’s one of those jobs where you’re a nanny but expected to be pa/house manager/cook etc etc.

I’m a professional nanny and I had a job that turned out like this once. I made a right hash of it. They were cheapskates who were totally out of touch with reality and trying to squish three roles into one.

It doesn’t work, there’s your lesson.

Piglet89 · 30/10/2021 18:21

Massive gaps in information in your OP.
Who actually did sign off on the work while you were away? Was it your “House Manager/nanny”?

toomuchlaundry · 30/10/2021 18:22

Where was your partner (assume you have one as you are the main breadwinner)

SeasonFinale · 30/10/2021 18:22

work has been agreed by someone other than me,

who?
If the housemanager why would the builders assume they have authority?
Or do you call your wife/husband/partner the house manager/nanny and thus they would assume they could authorise work?

Bloodybridget · 30/10/2021 18:23

I don't understand how the nanny comes into this. Do you mean she (or he) was the project manager while you were away with your child?

sw1v · 30/10/2021 18:23

Where is the child amid all these renovations? If you have a husband / partner?

Heronwatcher · 30/10/2021 18:23

House manager? Is this a special mumsnet performance of first world problems?
Seriously I imagine the staff were trying to be helpful rather than ruin the project- if anything the builders are to blame and should put it right (incidentally it’s not much fun dealing with someone else’s renovation- I only hope he or she wasn’t also looking after some kids).

SirChenjins · 30/10/2021 18:24

What’s a house manager and what is the link to your nanny? Confused

hotmeatymilk · 30/10/2021 18:24

Shuck off those diamond shoes darling, the pain must be beastly.

Cocomarine · 30/10/2021 18:25

A bit confusing. If your builder has done something incurring an additional £15K have done no more than ask the nanny if they should do it… then of course the builder is in the wrong, and I’d have strong words with the nanny over stepping - unless they didn’t, and the builder just told them not asked them.

If it’s the “house manager” - well, what even is that? Housekeeper I know, project manager I know.

If this is someone that you told the builder is allowed to speak for you in your absence, the builder is in the clear and either the “house manager” has over stepped or you have fucked up directing them on what they do and don’t have authority to agree.

ivfbabymomma1 · 30/10/2021 18:25

I've never heard of a house manager?!

TheChiefJo · 30/10/2021 18:26

Sounds like the builders are at fault. They shouldn't have done anything without your authorisation. That said, were you clear with the nanny what responsibility they had before you left? Did the builders have the means to contact you during your absence?