To be upset that my mum is buying art off someone like this?

[ManchesterRain]

I am a hobby artist but I do cheap commissions for people too. Basically I enjoy doing it and sometimes make a few quid doing it too. My cousin also dabbles with art but his work is digital, mine is traditional.

Anyway I went to my mums yesterday and she said she had something to show me … she presented a digital portrait of my son which she had paid my cousin to do. I said it was lovely (which it was) but I was secretly a bit hurt that she’s never asked me to create something for her. Anyway she then said “why don’t you ask him to do one for you too??” So I reminded her that I do my own art work 🙄 and her reply is the sting of the tail …

“Yes but you could get a proper one done! They’re only £50 … do you want me to get you one for Christmas?”

I feel really hurt by this! There are people all over Britain with my art in frames on their wall so I know I’m not terrible at what I do!!

AIBU to think she is being really thoughtless?

Maybe she doesn’t like what you do. There’s lots of art I don’t like.

She was tactless but she obviously prefers his art to yours; art is very subjective

Surely as an artist you realise that everyone has different tastes?

Probably prefers his art to yours. Doesn't mean there's anything wrong with your art, lots of people like different art/mediums etc.

Oh god, what a thoughtless thing to say!

Some people struggle to think of arts careers as anything their children could possibly do. Probably best to grot your teeth and ignore it, but I would have been cross too.

My dad is a hobby artist, but I don't like what he makes, so we don't have any of it on display. I don't think he's offended - why would he be? Plenty of people do like what he makes.

I get that but to tell an artist that they could get a “proper” portrait done??

I’d find it hurtful too but I agree with a PP who said that maybe your style isn’t her style.

Is your work more abstract?

You need to make it very clear to her not to get you one for Christmas!

But he’s a man, so his art is “proper”. You’re just a little woman with a little hobby.

I would personally think of paintings as “proper” art not digital but don’t be worrying about it. She prefers their stuff. It’s all in the eye of the beholder isn’t it?

That's so hurtful op. She's entitled to like whatever she likes but there was no need to say that to you.

Are you a portrait painter, OP? Or is there about to be a drip feed that you paint seascapes or landscapes in the Post-Impressionist style? (that would be very MN!)

Seriously? I can see why you’re hurt, but you know that art is subjective- personally digital art leaves me cold, whether it’s Hockney or some bloke on Etsy- but to each their own!

Everyone’s taste is different.
Personally I don’t think Jackson Pollock’s pieces are “art” yet they’re worth millions and thousands of people think they’re fantastic.
Your mum was tactless but I’d try to Frozen her comments….let it go.

I hear you, OP. I'm an author. My mum cannot get her head around them being "proper books" rather than me just pissing around being self-indulgent, as if I'm 8 years old making up stories in my bedroom.

Anyone else writes a novel? Aren't they clever! Imagine being able to do that! 🙄

prepares for MN to inform me that my books are obviously as shit as the OP's art

You need to ask her what she meant when she said "proper".
It's just going to eat away at you if you don't talk it over with her. Even if it turns out she simply doesn't like your style, at least you'd know.

I agree that it is tactless. Tell her that it is tactless. Why not? You can also still tell her that you appreciate your cousin's work, but remind her firmly that it just isn't your style.

Then, just do your own portrait of your son and display it prominently.

Yes, thoughtless, but don’t take it too much to heart.
She is probably just over-excited at the digital technique your cousin uses
Has no taste
And
Is familiar with what you have been doing so doesn’t appreciate it.

Clearly the people who have your art treasure it.

Inwardly roll your eyes at your Mum and move on.

@ManchesterRain

I get that but to tell an artist that they could get a “proper” portrait done??

I know art is subjective but also get where you are coming from. It was very hurtful to say that she doesn't consider your art as proper art. They may be different and she prefers his but to say he is a proper artist and you aren't that is what is hurtful. I may not be a fan of Damien Hirst but to say he isn't a proper artist would be wrong.

No it’s not abstract, very traditional portraits.

Tell her she couldn’t afford you anyway!

@Greentrianglesarethebestones

Also what you said - sometimes parents of children in creative industries find it VERY hard to see what their kids do as “professional” rather than “amateur”- possibly because they DID see us as 8 year olds making up stories in our bedrooms/ painting blobby flowers with poster paint/ dancing in the dining room like Kate Bush on a lemonade high...

I’m in a creative industry and my mum CANNOT join the dots between little
old me and the outputs I produce - which are in the public domain and she regularly comes across.

Very thoughtless of her. I would also be hurt. Try to put it out of your mind, however, as I’m sure she didn’t mean to be unkind, she wasn’t thinking. As others have said, art is totally subjective.

Soooo thoughtless! I'd be hurt too OP.