Absolutely livid with ML- what would you do ?

[fussytodd]

So I'm staying with in laws for a couple of weeks.

I did some washing and accidentally put a wool jumper in with the general load at 40. It shrunk. I left it on the side in the laundry room to dry and then assess the damage.

Today mother in law comes up to me, holding just the jumper and goes:

' what happened here ?you must have washed this wrong. You need to wash it on a wool setting '

I reply :

' I know. I just didn't see it and put it in with other stuff at 30. That's a shame, oh well'

She says again : ' yeah but you can't wash it at 30, you can only wash it on a wool setting '. I again replied that I know that but I didn't see it and oh well.

To which she goes: ' well this is a hundred pound jumper '. It's her sons jumper, not hers...

So I just went, well what do you want me to do ?

Back story is that it has happened to me before that I've accidentally shrunk a jumper and it's come up as a joke in front of her before. Even so, am I right that I don't deserve to be scolded by her over this ? It's my money and my stuff. So what if I occasionally make a mistake.

I'm so angry, I can't look at her.

I'm not sure why her comments have made you so angry that you can't look at her? Sure, her comment was not necessary but it's nothing in the grand scheme of things.

I'm so angry that she had the audacity to come upstairs and scold me like a child.

Why not just tell her it's your money and your stuff?

I think you are completely over reacting if you are so angry you can't look at her.

Your MIL is letting You stay for a few weeks yet you are on here slagging her off?

Do her a favour and go home, maybe You can learn how to wash wool jumpers without shrinking them whilst you are there.

It sounds mildly irritating to be repeatedly told what you clearly already knew, but is there a massive back story here that you don’t get on because I don’t think it’s anything to be so angry about.

Your 'oh well' would piss me off. You were careless and then dismissive about the cost. £100 for a jumper is a lot,

It sounds mildly irritating to be repeatedly told what you clearly already knew, but is there a massive back story here that you don’t get on because I don’t think it’s anything to be so angry about

agree, it sounds annoying but to be so angry you can't even look at her seems like quite an overreaction, unless there is more to this

Do you mean your husband or another son? If it's another son she's right to be mad. Either way I think you're massively overreacting when you're a guest in her house and this has happened before. Ruining a £100 jumper is a big deal to some people

Bloody hell OP. Calm down. Overreaction.

I know what you mean OP. My MIL likes to tell me how hard my DP works and how I should be on top of things. When I work longer hours than him 😂 it doesn’t sound like much but the little things add up and make you feel really undermined

Try to move past it, I adopt a bright and breezy approach and still do nice things for her. I think it annoys her more when she has nothing to say 😬

@fussytodd

Agreed you need to calm down, you sound utterly ridiculous

My MIL has form for similar. There's nothing she won't scold her now mid 30 year old children about. She is massively anxious and deals with it by being controlling. Any mistake by them is seen as a reflection on her.

@ZeroFuchsGiven wow ! The op is probably staying with the in-laws because the in-laws have asked them to go - so they can see their son/grandkids probably. Op is hardly being given a free all inclusive holiday

It’s her sons as in your husband’s jumper? Just tell her it’s none of her business

You don't really sound very nice. Maybe stay at a nearby hotel if you hate her so much?
And stop putting wool jumpers in the wash. Is it your £100 down the drain or someone else's?

I'd only be that angry if someone regularly pissed me off. My mother for example can induce rage from 0-100 in one second.
There must be more going on here than this one incident.

Yes it's unnecessary for her to scold you, but there must already be an issue with the relationship for this to make you so angry you can't look at her.

If that's truly the case then perhaps you should go home or stay elsewhere if you can't go home, rather than stay in a situation where you are that angry over something that isn't something to get so enraged about,.

@LawnFever

It sounds mildly irritating to be repeatedly told what you clearly already knew, but is there a massive back story here that you don’t get on because I don’t think it’s anything to be so angry about.

It’s the kind of thing my MIL would do — she tends to repeat comments until she gets the response she thinks is appropriate — which I do find mildly irritating, occasionally comical, but can’t get that worked up about. Presumably your MIL thought you should have been tearing your hair out with distress, or something? I’d be tempted to hurl myself on the floor weeping ‘The jumper! The JUMPER!’

@Shehasadiamondinthesky

I'd only be that angry if someone regularly pissed me off. My mother for example can induce rage from 0-100 in one second. There must be more going on here than this one incident.

Yeah. Of course there is.

It's her sons jumper, not hers...

It's my money and my stuff.

I’m so confused. Who’s jumper is it?!

It's my husbands jumper, which I bought for him.

Don't understand why you're telling MN this and not her.

Such an overreaction, calm down OP.