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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Telling my child to be quiet on holiday

214 replies

Ohhappydays123 · 25/10/2021 16:29

Name changed for this as it’s outing. On holiday - all inclusive family resort, nothing too fancy, very popular destination. My DC (4&9) went in the swim up pool around midday but the section by our room was in the shade so they moved round the corner to be in the sun. They were on the side playing with toys. After about 5-10 minutes, some ladies who were on sun loungers near them got up and I saw one say something to DC4 and put her finger to her lips.
They were walking out of the pool area and as they walked past me I said “sorry, are they too loud for you?” She said “yes, I told him. It’s like he has a speaker inside.” I apologised. And then cried.
My DC are loud. I spend half my life asking them to be quiet and reminding them that sometimes we need to be quiet out of respect for other people. I’m a considerate person and try so hard to make my DC behave in the same way. I’m hormonal, the whole holiday experience has been pretty stressful due to Covid and it just pushed me over the edge.
But later on I though that actually, was she right to tell my DC to be quiet? It’s a family resort FFS! It wasn’t very early or very late and they weren’t even being THAT loud. I always make sure I remind them when they are.
I’d never dream of telling a stranger’s children to be quiet in this situation.
AIBU to think she shouldn’t have said anything?

OP posts:
ConsuelaHammock · 26/10/2021 19:36

Family resort means children are welcome, not that other people have to put up with bad behaviour. I know your child wasn’t being badly behaved but loud children can be very irritating.
The lady didn’t do anything wrong. My child is loud too.

Itloggedmeoutagain · 26/10/2021 19:46

Child made a noise
Child was politely asked to be quiet
Child was quiet
No big deal

Poetrypatty · 26/10/2021 20:22

Until this thread I never knew there was such a thing as a swim up pool. OP if your dcs are little you should really have them within arms reach or properly supervised in the water imo, it's not really safe to have a 4 year old swimming off where you can't see them.

Penistoe · 26/10/2021 20:27

I can’t get past you crying.

SoupDragon · 26/10/2021 20:44

it's not really safe to have a 4 year old swimming off where you can't see them.

They weren't out of sight.

Poetrypatty · 26/10/2021 21:02

I could do with a diagram Smile

Anyway OP, don't let it ruin your holiday, I bet your dcs weren't bothered, and if they don't listen to you about keeping the noise levels down then like pp have said, it can be a bonus for someone else to tell them. Kids do need to learn about being considerate of other people. It's no big deal.

StoneofDestiny · 26/10/2021 21:06

You know your children are too loud.
Those adults believed your children were too loud.
The adults politely asked them to pipe down - no big deal. They will be told this in school and elsewhere many times.

Disfordarkchocolate · 26/10/2021 21:06

Family resort at half term, she was very unreasonable.

cansu · 26/10/2021 21:13

I have never stayed in a place with a swim up pool so googled them and they look like the idea is to have a bit of pool to relax in that is kind of private to you. They don't look big enough for kids really who like to splash and jump around tbh. I have always done self catering gites etc with either a shared pool where it is a free for all or a private pool. The last resort I went to was adults only and was utter bliss around the pool. If your kids can't or won't keep it down, you are going to have a bit of a stressful holiday. I would just keep an eye from now on and encourage them to stay in their own bit.

cooker321monster · 26/10/2021 21:17

Need more details really. I can cope with a fair amount of noise (including my own kids haha!) she was either a) too sensitive/in the wrong place or b) do you think your kids are louder than others? shouting loads? excessive? x

Bloodypunkrockers · 26/10/2021 22:13

@Poetrypatty

Until this thread I never knew there was such a thing as a swim up pool. OP if your dcs are little you should really have them within arms reach or properly supervised in the water imo, it's not really safe to have a 4 year old swimming off where you can't see them.
They weren't swimming
milkyaqua · 26/10/2021 22:24

@cooker321monster

Need more details really. I can cope with a fair amount of noise (including my own kids haha!) she was either a) too sensitive/in the wrong place or b) do you think your kids are louder than others? shouting loads? excessive? x
As said in the OP:

My DC are loud. I spend half my life asking them to be quiet and reminding them that sometimes we need to be quiet out of respect for other people.

melj1213 · 26/10/2021 23:43

she was either a) too sensitive/in the wrong place or b) do you think your kids are louder than others?

How can you be too sensitive/in the wrong place when asking kids to be quiet when they're literally outside your room?

Just because a hotel is family friendly doesn't mean that other guests have to accept random children being loud and playing right outside their room without saying something.

LadyEloise1 · 27/10/2021 08:11

Any recommendations for a resort with swim up pool, preferably noisy children free ? Smile

Twentypast · 27/10/2021 08:53

@Disfordarkchocolate

Family resort at half term, she was very unreasonable.
The children were outside her room in her section of the swim up pool. How waa she unreasonable? It's not the main pool. Family friendly or not it's the equivalent of someone else's kids playing on your private patio.

You stick to your own section of a swim up pool.

Franklin12 · 27/10/2021 08:57

Some people on this thread seem to think that kids rule.. They can do what they like, shout outside other people's rooms because the sun has gone down. |After all the OP says they want to take advantage of the swim up pool (just not their own - insert VERY important reason why they are an expection and very very special).

KIDS RULE!!

Blueeyedgirl21 · 27/10/2021 08:58

Just go to the kids pool
Everyone knows the swim up ones are for a chilled afternoon swim type thing

Yummymummy2020 · 27/10/2021 09:00

Ah no I think they are kids on holidays they should be allowed make noise. Can’t she book an adults only resort if she wants the peace and quiet? She sounds very self entitled. I wouldn’t book a family friendly hotel if I wasn’t ok with noise and plenty of it!!!

Fetarabbit · 27/10/2021 09:01

@Franklin12

Some people on this thread seem to think that kids rule.. They can do what they like, shout outside other people's rooms because the sun has gone down. |After all the OP says they want to take advantage of the swim up pool (just not their own - insert VERY important reason why they are an expection and very very special).

KIDS RULE!!

Lots of people think this, it doesn't do their children any favours either, it's not a bad thing to set some boundaries and tell them no now and again!
BigYellowHat · 27/10/2021 09:03

I’m currently living through the hell of 3.5 years of screaming children from next door. Sometimes it’s so loud that it can seem as though they’re in our living room 😢 😤 It’s one of the main reasons we’re selling. Anyway, I’d be miffed if I was on holiday and kids were screaming, whether or not it was a family resort. Remember it’s these women’s holiday too.

ZenNudist · 27/10/2021 09:05

My dc are loud. I tell them to tone it down, especially if other people are about. Family resort doesn't mean go nuts.

I try and get dc to give other people some space so not, for example playing by someone else's sunlounger.

LolaSmiles · 27/10/2021 09:19

Ah no I think they are kids on holidays they should be allowed make noise. Can’t she book an adults only resort if she wants the peace and quiet? She sounds very self entitled. I wouldn’t book a family friendly hotel if I wasn’t ok with noise and plenty of it!!!
A family friendly resort or hotel is not a green light for as much noise as some loud families feel like making.

On so many threads there seems to be posters of the view that anyone objecting to unreasonable noise from children/families should go to a special adult only peace and quiet place. Hmm In reality there's also a lot of us with DC who want to be able to take our DC places, whilst also believing it's the responsibility of parents to teach their children how to behave appropriately and with consideration.

When I'm on holiday with DC I don't mind hearing children or reasonable family noise, but would 100% have an issue with families who allow their children to get in our space, make a racket outside our room, generally act like foghorns. There's no need for it. It's rude.

notacooldad · 27/10/2021 09:30

Ah no I think they are kids on holidays they should be allowed make noise. Can’t she book an adults only resort if she wants the peace and quiet?
How do you know she wasn't with her family. This is just a quick snapshot of her day.

AudacityBaby · 27/10/2021 09:36

Sorry, OP, you lost me at "we paid for a swim up room and want to use it!"

You weren't using it. You were using her swim up room, which she paid for, and which she presumably wanted to use. She'd probably have allowed that to continue had your kids not been really disruptive. Expecting free use of her swim up room, not to have to tell your kids to be quiet, and for her to not say anything about it? I mean... Shock

Ginger1982 · 27/10/2021 09:43

@AudacityBaby

Sorry, OP, you lost me at "we paid for a swim up room and want to use it!"

You weren't using it. You were using her swim up room, which she paid for, and which she presumably wanted to use. She'd probably have allowed that to continue had your kids not been really disruptive. Expecting free use of her swim up room, not to have to tell your kids to be quiet, and for her to not say anything about it? I mean... Shock

This is why I try to only book swim up rooms that go into a main pool rather than a private shared pool. If DS strayed into the 'other bit' it would give me anxiety in case he disturbed others.
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