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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Telling my child to be quiet on holiday

214 replies

Ohhappydays123 · 25/10/2021 16:29

Name changed for this as it’s outing. On holiday - all inclusive family resort, nothing too fancy, very popular destination. My DC (4&9) went in the swim up pool around midday but the section by our room was in the shade so they moved round the corner to be in the sun. They were on the side playing with toys. After about 5-10 minutes, some ladies who were on sun loungers near them got up and I saw one say something to DC4 and put her finger to her lips.
They were walking out of the pool area and as they walked past me I said “sorry, are they too loud for you?” She said “yes, I told him. It’s like he has a speaker inside.” I apologised. And then cried.
My DC are loud. I spend half my life asking them to be quiet and reminding them that sometimes we need to be quiet out of respect for other people. I’m a considerate person and try so hard to make my DC behave in the same way. I’m hormonal, the whole holiday experience has been pretty stressful due to Covid and it just pushed me over the edge.
But later on I though that actually, was she right to tell my DC to be quiet? It’s a family resort FFS! It wasn’t very early or very late and they weren’t even being THAT loud. I always make sure I remind them when they are.
I’d never dream of telling a stranger’s children to be quiet in this situation.
AIBU to think she shouldn’t have said anything?

OP posts:
Lollyneenah · 26/10/2021 10:46

Yep yabu-
The crux is there is plenty of places for children to be loud at a children's resort- play park, kids pools, evening entertainment, kids club etc
But only one place where this lady can enjoy a bit of peace and quiet - her bedroom.

I think they sound old enough to be given a stern word about a)not spoiling other people's enjoyment b) embarrassing their mother

Brefugee · 26/10/2021 11:01

Look if your kids were being too loud why shouldn't someone ask them to use their inside voices? it's not as if she told them to go away or be silent. Ideal world? You'd have asked them to be quiet.

I don't get where everyone gets their knickers in a knot about people telling loud children to dial it down a notch.

TheFairyCaravan · 26/10/2021 11:58

@LadyEloise1

I had never heard of a swim up room. You learn something new every day. What resorts have nice ones ? Sorry for the thread hijack.
We had one here last September.
FreeBritnee · 26/10/2021 12:00

I think no one is right or wrong. You sound like you’re overthinking it.

Drumshambo · 26/10/2021 13:15

Being a family resort is irrelevant. She had every right to tell your children to diall it down!

SoupDragon · 26/10/2021 13:23

She was perfectly polite about it and you say yourself that your children are loud. You need to take a deep breath and forget about it.

PrincessNutella · 26/10/2021 13:32

It sounds as if the sound was bothering her. And you know your kids are loud. So she has a right to ask them to be quieter.

melj1213 · 26/10/2021 14:09

YABU - Your kids were outside her room and disturbing her, the lady had every right to ask them to be quiet.

A swim up pool is not meant as a play area - that's what the kids pools are for - they're meant to allow people to sunbathe on their terrace/garden and be able to cool off without having to go to the main pool. It is an unwritten expectation that you stay in the area directly outside your own room/terrace unless you're doing a lap of the pool, and you don't go and just loiter in another room's swim up area.

By going to play in the area outside someone else's room your children were essentially sitting on their balcony/terrace and being loud. The women shouldn't have to leave their room to get some peace and I think they were perfectly entitled to ask your children to be quiet, they would have been just as entitled to have asked your children to leave their swim up area and send them back to your room.

TSSDNCOP · 26/10/2021 14:13

OMG outside her room? You could not be more unreasonable. She was massively polite under the circumstances.

TSSDNCOP · 26/10/2021 14:17

Our DC plus a bunch they palled up with were once told, not asked, to be quiet by a lifeguard. These were kids on holiday playing in a communal pool.

I assumed it was so the lifeguard could hear calls of distress. That would've been absolutely fine. Nope, he told me that a nearby bloke sunbathing on his patio that adjoined the main pool was trying to sleep and had complained and demanded the LG sort them out.

The kids got sent to the shop with € for as many water pistols and floats as they could carry.

CecilieRose · 26/10/2021 15:18

This is why I try to go to adults-only resorts for sun holidays. No entitled people who think they're the centre of the universe letting their kids screech right outside my room and getting upset if I politely ask them to be quiet.

CeeceeBloomingdale · 26/10/2021 15:27

@CecilieRose

This is why I try to go to adults-only resorts for sun holidays. No entitled people who think they're the centre of the universe letting their kids screech right outside my room and getting upset if I politely ask them to be quiet.
The problem is not everyone can do that. I have older children who have been taught to be considerate to others and no desire to listen to shrieking of other people's children. I can't go to an adult only hotel as my kids are too young for them and I can't stand "family" resorts. I tend to book serviced apartments or hotels with no kids clubs or entertainment to find the middle ground but there is definitely a gap in the market for those who would like peace and quiet whilst not excluding children.
LoathesomeLinsey · 26/10/2021 15:30

I like booking self catering cottages in the arse end of nowhere, as I don't go on holiday to listen to other people being inconsiderate shits. Mainly adults ime! Especially hen and stag dos

But, yes, I remember adult only resorts and yes, I would still choose them if it wasn't for my pesky small children Wink.

Joking, before anyone jumps up and down!

fussytodd · 26/10/2021 16:24

When I was little, other adults would tell us to be quiet all the time and also to stop doing stuff and behave if we weren't and our parents weren't around.

Sometimes even if our parents were around, as naturally we tended to listen to others and get scared more hahah.

Please don't worry about it. This stuff happens. You've not done anything wrong. Please enjoy your holiday.

bellabasset · 26/10/2021 16:49

I don't think the other guest was unreasonable as in the same way one pregnant woman in the jacuzzi at a sports club complained about children of both sexes taking the ladies changing rooms over, getting in the way and being noisy.

Sparklfairy · 26/10/2021 16:53

I don't like loud kids but then I wouldn't be stupid enough to book a family hotel at half term and then moan about it.

Ignore her OP. She was rude.

CecilieRose · 26/10/2021 17:29

@Sparklfairy

I don't like loud kids but then I wouldn't be stupid enough to book a family hotel at half term and then moan about it.

Ignore her OP. She was rude.

They're abroad and half term isn't the same in every country!

I don't think anyone should ever have to tolerate loud, screechy kids in their bit of a swim-up pool. There are plenty of kids who can behave themselves and respect other people. I was at a very busy lake beach in a European resort this summer. Place was packed with kids but only one family screeching, being obnoxious and bothering other people and yes, strangers did tell them to shut up.

SoupDragon · 26/10/2021 17:47

She was rude

No she wasn't.

Sparklfairy · 26/10/2021 17:49

@CecilieRose I do get what you're saying, and a lot depends on a) how badly behaved they were, and b) how grumpy/intolerant she was.

I don't have children and school holidays are rarely on my radar. If it's a popular holiday destination and a family hotel at this time of year though it stands to reason that there will be children that would annoy me and even without knowing school holidays you can tell just by the fact the price goes up.

I don't know about this woman, but I would be booking an adults only hotel if I was going to be angry enough to be telling off excited children all the time and couldn't avoid going during October half term ish time.

cansu · 26/10/2021 17:54

I think its a mixture. Kids will be noisy, but I guess I would expect you to be in earshot and tell them to keep it down when others are in the pool. I don't think the 4 year old should without an adult in the pool. That is where your issue lies. If you had been there the noise would have been less. A nine year old and a four year old are going to get OTT very quickly.

cansu · 26/10/2021 17:56

OK I see now that you were there. If it is normal fun noise not shrieking then they were out of line. Only you can really judge. I have been by pools where kids were playing and enjoying themselves and it hasn't bothered me at all. On other occasions there have been kids doing that ear piercing shriek constantly and that was awful.

2021namechanger · 26/10/2021 18:45

@Sparklfairy

I don't like loud kids but then I wouldn't be stupid enough to book a family hotel at half term and then moan about it.

Ignore her OP. She was rude.

Another one who doesn’t understand the concept of a swim up pool ffs
PrincessPaws · 26/10/2021 18:54

We book a swim up room precisely to get away from the noise and the shrieking of the kids around the main pool(s)

The biggest YABU is because in the swim up pool your kids should remain in the bit outside your terrace and not move to be outside someone else's room. These pools access directly onto the terrace/into the room so not only is it deeply annoying to have to listen to their noise, they are also invading her space and privacy

I get you want to use the swim up as you have paid for the benefits of it, but so have they!

Clymene · 26/10/2021 19:04

You've paid for a swim up room as have the other guests. If your kids want to shriek and muck about then take them to the kids pool.

Personally I don't think they should rent swim up rooms to families with under 10s because you're reliant on other people's good manners (or otherwise) to enjoy it

VillageOf8 · 26/10/2021 19:06

Was the woman rude or did she shush your DC nicely? If a stranger was rude to my kids, we would have a huge problem. But if my kids are being really loud, I would not have an issue if someone told them nicely to please keep it down if my kids were disturbing the person.

Just because a place is family friendly, doesn't mean kids should be shrieking and screaming and carrying on. I'm not saying your kids were, but many people's kids are like that and the parents just let them disturb everyone else. I expect kids to make noise of course, but not to just be screaming in high pitched tones or making all kinds of noise.