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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed DH is going on a stag weekend to Amsterdam?

926 replies

JinglyJangly · 10/12/2007 18:57

DH is going on a stag weekend after Christmas to Amsterdam and too be honest, I am not too happy about it. I have heard what really goes on and why men go there, i.e. sex shops, brothels, live sex shows etc.

The blokes he is going with are a bunch of knobs. I have heard the majority of them frequent these types of places (only from what DH has said).

DH went on a stag weekend to Edinburgh a few years back and the guy who's stag party it was, was well up for visiting a brothel and guess what? he is going on the stag weekend to Amsterdam .

AIBU to be annoyed about him going? I am feeling a bit down in the dumps today and keep thinking all sorts about what they will get up too.

Whatever happened to guys going for a few beers at the local? It seems the norm for stag weekends to be held abroad nowadays. WHY is that?

OP posts:
Original poster
JinglyJangly · 11/12/2007 22:17

mademez - I like your post and totally agree.

OP posts:
OComeOLIVEfaithfOIL · 11/12/2007 22:18

good god is this still going on?

when dh went on his stag do's, he said the group split up into people that had grown up and were not still pretending they were 21, and those that were clearly infantile

he was in the former

so they can go on stag do's and not balloon about imo

noddyholder · 11/12/2007 22:19

yes cam stop sniping

StarofBethleCam · 11/12/2007 22:21

Can I carry on snipping

binklebells · 11/12/2007 22:21

JJ, you cant stop him going, you may well be being unreasonable - or maybe not - I suppose he is the only one who can really answer that - and he probably wont shag anyone else - or he might - shit happens y'know? What do you want to hear?

StarofBethleCam · 11/12/2007 22:24

I'm amazed at all these relationships where people do what they want despite being in a relationship

lennygirl · 11/12/2007 22:25

Message withdrawn

FriedGreentoMistletoes · 11/12/2007 22:25

I think YABU. You can't control what he does and you wouldn't like him stopping you going on a girly trip to Ibiza or somewhere because of the behaviour of other girls when they go there.
My DH goes on stag dos all over Europe. Yes, I know some of his mates visit brothels when they are there - but they are the same ones who would use a prostitute back home. AS DH isn;t like that, and many of his friends aren't, I have no concerns.
It really isn't your place to stop him.

CoteDAzur · 11/12/2007 22:26

I might be inviting endless ridicule here, but I would think my Dh is quite good looking and attractive, and hence would not even need to pay for a prostitute if he ever wanted to stray. Does JJ think prostitutes are her Dh's only option, and if not, how is not 'allowing' him to go to Amsterdam for a guys' weekend keeping his Dh monogamous?

StarofBethleCam · 11/12/2007 22:27

"And if he is monogamous then he's going to be really hacked off at you thinking that he can be led into cheating on you by people/place/whatever."

Nonsense

My dh has maturity and gravitas

My dh would think I didn't care about him if I didn't mind him going to stag dos in Amsterdam

lennygirl · 11/12/2007 22:34

Message withdrawn

noddyholder · 11/12/2007 22:35

Why are you married to someone that you think would go with a hooker?

StarofBethleCam · 11/12/2007 22:36
Hmm
StarofBethleCam · 11/12/2007 22:37

That was at lennygirl obviously noddy.

How are you at the moment noddy?

TenLordsaLapin · 11/12/2007 22:38

I don't think that's nonsense Cam. What has maturity and gravitas got to do with a lack of trust?

My husband expects me to trust him and vice versa, otherwise we wouldn't be married. To me, it's integral to our relationship, and it would be VERY hurtful to me if he implied I was not to be trusted.

noddyholder · 11/12/2007 22:39

I am good cam.Where have you been??????

DeathBySnooSnoo · 11/12/2007 22:41

right...my understanding of relationships according to the law of MN is thus:

you may not ,under any circumstances,dictate what your dh/p is/is not allowed to do.if you use the word 'let' when talking about your oh then you are a control freak'.

i wouldn't let my dh punch me.does that mean i have control issues?

Lauriefairycake · 11/12/2007 22:43

Excellent question noddy - really, why are you married to someone who you think would cheat on you with a prostitute when he knows you wouldn't like it ?

Original poster
JinglyJangly · 11/12/2007 22:43

lennygirl - No, I have not changed my mind.

OP posts:
lennygirl · 11/12/2007 22:45

Message withdrawn

StarofBethleCam · 11/12/2007 22:45

I said its nonsense because its not the point.

Mature people don't want to do stuff that isn't a joint decision

Lauriefairycake · 11/12/2007 22:46

Another good point - I let my husband do anything, he's his own person, he can do whatever he wants.

If he chooses to do some of the things mentioned on this thread then I choose to not be around someone like that.

seems simple to me............

mrsruffallo · 11/12/2007 22:48

Tenlords a lapin, Sorry in the delay in replying to you. I really can't see that scenario unfolding, dh's brother or best friend are just not like that. Anymore than my sister's would organise me a male stripper. Because we all agree it would be a truly hideous thing.

slim22 · 11/12/2007 22:48

This bickering is getting ridiculous.
We are all different, with different affective/emotional limits and that makes for very different relationships.

Why are trying to out do each other with your arguments?

I think she's being totally unreasonnable but that does not give me the licenece to say things like wel....poor you, if you think your DH is the sort of guy who would go with a prostitute then what are you doing with him.
That's just plain rude and not helpfull.

Original poster
JinglyJangly · 11/12/2007 22:48

You lot are bullies - si why am I being Unreasonable ?

OP posts: