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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Another football parent calling my son gay boy

480 replies

Porkpiesarespicy · 23/10/2021 15:27

So I guess my AIBU is, do I pull them up on it or just let it go. Week after week they call him gay boy. "Oh there's gay boy I didn't see him" , "well done gay boy good game". You get my gist. I think it's said in jest, but my god it makes my shit itch.
I couldn't give two hoots if he's gay or not as long as he's happy in himself.
Not sure that I would be over reacting to call them out on it next time?? Hence why not I'm here asking you lot...! If so I need help with come backs I'm not quick witted and tend to think oh I should have said after the event.
Also do I call them out or speak to the manager who is friendly with them? Don't want it to be awks but equally want them to know what they are doing is not acceptable (imo anyway)... thoughts please mumsnetters

OP posts:
whynotwhatknot · 31/10/2021 09:52

Hope it went ok and shes been spoken to

fabulouslyglamorousferret · 31/10/2021 10:06

Isn't the boy perm called 'meet me at McDonalds'? Or have I imagined that!! 😂

I am a football mum, I think if I heard someone say something like that I would have to call them out in a 'really? Have you just said that? ... wow!' Type of way and hope she took the hint and kept her rotten mouth shut in future.

What's her son like?

iklboogiemaninthecloset · 31/10/2021 13:58

The he main coach ended up being a real wrong one and is struck off

Yhr trouble is that can lead to the end of the club, and hundreds of kids with no club to play at

So kids should put up with an abusive coach just so others can play? This is how Barry Bennell & Gwynn Williams got away with what they did for so long.

Glittertwins · 31/10/2021 14:15

If you've reported it to the club welfare officer, you might not hear back for a little while as they go through the channels and guidance.

Benjispruce5 · 31/10/2021 14:23

Wow, I definitely would say something. Very surprised a mum has said that.

shrugitoff · 04/11/2021 15:16

Any update @Porkpiesarespicy ?

Tal45 · 04/11/2021 15:49

Her behaviour is really shocking. I would be wary of calling her out in front of other people though, she obviously has no boundaries and will have an answer for absolutely anything you say. If you're not careful she will somehow convince everyone that it's just a joke on her part and that she's being cruelly targeted by you for her 'bants'. Much better to let the welfare person deal with it IMO.

I had Kevin Keegan pictures in my head but if you google boys perm style then it is a pretty cool look.

Whereismumhiding3 · 05/11/2021 09:15

[quote LadyEloise1]@Porkpiesarespicy
How did the meeting go ?
Is there training or a game today ?
I'm still Shockthat people around her don't call her out on her comments to children. [/quote]
Hoping here too that OP will give update on how it was dealt with

porkpiesarespicy2 · 05/11/2021 18:37

Hi everyone I can't log In to my old account I can't remember the password hence why it's porkpiesarespicy2

Quick update I've spoken to the welfare who is going to speak to the mum in question. I'm hoping she has done already but I've not heard anything - not sure I would either but anyway, I've not been to football we've had the dreaded Covid so all been isolating. However tomorrow - there is a game and we are allowed out so I will be going with my son, I want to speak to the welfare personally and also to call this woman out if she says anything. I have my speech ready but I bet it plays out nothing like I plan!! I will update fully once the game is over tomorrow.

porkpiesarespicy2 · 05/11/2021 18:39

@Northernparent68

I’d move clubs.
He plays for several teams one of a much higher league on a Sunday but he likes this one because he gets to have a kick around with his mates. I don't really want to move him because of one woman and her stupid comments
EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 05/11/2021 19:18

I hope it all gets sorted before tomorrow then. If not I think I'd have to say something to her and she wouldn't like it at all!

porkpiesarespicy2 · 05/11/2021 19:47

@EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall

I hope it all gets sorted before tomorrow then. If not I think I'd have to say something to her and she wouldn't like it at all!
Even if welfare has said something and she says it again I will tell her it's unacceptable. I just didn't know if I was being a "snowflake" or too precious about it because it was my son... but I will be saying something tomorrow
shrugitoff · 05/11/2021 20:44

Thank you for the update.
Best of luck tomorrow.
We're all rooting for you and your son @porkpiesarespicy2

SoniaFouler · 05/11/2021 21:38

@fabulouslyglamorousferret
Isn't the boy perm called 'meet me at McDonalds'? Or have I imagined that!! 😂

Yes it is. No you haven’t. Grin

Evelyn52 · 05/11/2021 21:42

WTAF can't believe you've not knocked her out tbh, yes absolutely tell her to stop, don't delay!

porkpiesarespicy2 · 06/11/2021 09:49

[quote SoniaFouler]@fabulouslyglamorousferret
Isn't the boy perm called 'meet me at McDonalds'? Or have I imagined that!! 😂

Yes it is. No you haven’t. Grin[/quote]
That's is quite funny I've not heard of that before I can't wait to inform him when he gets out of his pit!! 😂

porkpiesarespicy2 · 06/11/2021 09:51

@shrugitoff

Thank you for the update. Best of luck tomorrow. We're all rooting for you and your son *@porkpiesarespicy2*
Thank you @shrugitoff standby for news it's a lunch time kick off
whynotwhatknot · 06/11/2021 13:15

good luck for the match and hopefully shes been spoken to

porkpiesarespicy2 · 06/11/2021 15:07

So Welfare at the club have spoken to the manager not said it's come from me but have said a complaint has been made about her comments and they need to stop as the club will not tolerate it. She was very quite today so hopefully the message has reached her but I was told I'm not to say anything personally as it could escalate because she's "unsavoury" and to let the club deal with it and follow the official channels. The welfare was hanging around our game today. However we will see at future games if she takes note. Hopefully that is the end of all of her derogatory comments aimed at one she feels like on that day.
Thank you all for your support In one way or another
X

shrugitoff · 06/11/2021 17:21

@porkpiesarespicy2
I'm so glad it's being sorted.
Glad too that they know she's unsavoury understatement.
What a shame a few of the other gormless adults who heard her the first time didn't take her on.
The club are probably fearful of legal action from her if she is thrown out** and to hell with what she is doing to vulnerable children because it's only verbal. Sad

whynotwhatknot · 06/11/2021 18:56

good result op

iklboogiemaninthecloset · 07/11/2021 00:46

The club are probably fearful of legal action from her if she is thrown out*

That would go well for her Grin

Her - I've been frown aht of da fubble, innit!

Legal person - oh dear, why?

Her - Dunno. Only frowed gay slurs at a lad cos of his perm. Bantz, innit? Got no sense of yoomer.

Legal person - NEXT!

Werehamster · 07/11/2021 01:12

That's good news! I hope she behaves herself. If she ever makes another comment, don't hesitate to go straight back to the club.

logsonlogsoff · 07/11/2021 07:59

Well done , OP.
The only way we can kick this sort of
Crap out of sport and change the culture is to stand up
To it at grass roots level. Your bravery has made a difference, and helped not just your son but other children in that club.

JacquelineCarlyle · 07/11/2021 08:10

Well done Op - glad the club are taking action. I agree that the club should handle it & sounds like they will.