Another football parent calling my son gay boy

[Porkpiesarespicy]

So I guess my AIBU is, do I pull them up on it or just let it go. Week after week they call him gay boy. "Oh there's gay boy I didn't see him" , "well done gay boy good game". You get my gist. I think it's said in jest, but my god it makes my shit itch.
I couldn't give two hoots if he's gay or not as long as he's happy in himself.
Not sure that I would be over reacting to call them out on it next time?? Hence why not I'm here asking you lot...! If so I need help with come backs I'm not quick witted and tend to think oh I should have said after the event.
Also do I call them out or speak to the manager who is friendly with them? Don't want it to be awks but equally want them to know what they are doing is not acceptable (imo anyway)... thoughts please mumsnetters

[RedHelenB]

@Monsterpumpkins

Personally I would report her to coach and the police... Hate crime surely?

Coach maybe but calling tge police is OTT. I'm not sure why as a parent you're not pulling her up on it though, as it's not an acceptable way to speak to your son.

[Cantstopthewaves]

"Why are you so interested in my 15 year old Son and making assumptions about his sexuality- bit creepy don't you think?".

[NOTANUM]

I would tell both the coach and the welfare officer - every football club has one and this will not be tolerated.

[Hellocatshome]

I would tell her to pack it in, if she doesnt I would contact the club welfare officer. If the kids were doing it they would come down on them like a ton of bricks so the parents should stick to the same rules of decency.

[romdowa]

The first time I'd of heard her say it , I'd have given her a lash of my tongue. You are unreasonable to have let it go on for any length of time. Stand up for your child

[DreamerSeven]

I can’t believe you have to ask, I’m the least confrontational person ever but would have said something the first time it happened and escalated it to the club the second time.

[SolasAnla]

Even ignoring the homophobic element it needs to be raised as a safeguarding issue with the club and request that the parent be excluded from the area for ongoing harassment of an child by an adult

As its a pattern of repeated behaviour its also a criminal offence

[Werehamster]

There should be a Welfare Officer that you can talk to.

[ISpyCobraKai]

I'd absolutely pull him up, that's just disgusting.

[TomAllenWife]

I'd be fuming

My boys often use the term as an insult and I go mad. My best friend is gay and I won't accept that shit in my house

[prettypinkflamingo]

Report it to the manager. Make it clear she is being homophobic and that it is a hate crime that you will take further if no action is taken.
Next time she makes a comment you tell her "stop with your homophobic comments. Do it again and I'll be reporting you to the police."
Adult bullies are the worst...they literally never grew up and away from school playground behaviour.

[Technosaurus]

"oi cunt face, call my son gay boy again and I'll grass you right up you homophobic twat, now fuck off" should sort it

[VeryQuaintIrene]

Please make a big fuss about it - that's disgraceful behaviour.

[Porkpiesarespicy]

Everyone thinks she's great is why I've not said anything she socialises with the manager and I don't want my sons place put in jeopardy because I've said something if I can't be seen to take a joke. Some of you are making out like I'm not sticking up for him. I have his back but I wasn't sure if I was being over sensitive because 1 it's aimed at my son 2 she was a complete and utter bully at school and 3 I rarely go soo thought I could be making more of the issue than it is. I will 100% call her out on it next week if I don't see her at training and ask to speak with her privately.

[OtterAndDog]

@Porkpiesarespicy

To be honest I don't tend to go to his football that often I'm
Normally with my younger sons but I've been the last few weeks on the bounce and heard it I have given raised eyebrows- clearly not enough for HER to notice. But I didn't want to seem like I was over reacting and cause a scene and make it worse. clearly I'm in the wrong too now. She is very loud in to everyone's business everyone knows hers I find her just awful but I will ring the manager and next week I will make sure I'm
There to tell her enough now - she was a bully at school and 20 years down the line she's not changed 🤦🏻‍♀️

I feel for you as I would also struggle with standing up to someone with a loud obnoxious personality. But remember you are entirely in the right here and I guarantee even if she appears popular or liked by other parents, I bet they too find her unbearable!

[stitchy]

This is shocking! I would look her in the eye and directly ask: why are you calling my son gayboy? If she squirms (like she should) it will probably be enough to put an end to it. If she tries to brazen it out I would follow it up with: it's not funny / it's bullying / it makes you sound like a bigot / adults should not be calling children names.

Urgh can't believe another parent would do this to an unknown child.

[Branleuse]

Of course you pull someone up for repeatedly bullying your son.
Ask her is it gay people she has a problem with or is it your son she has a problem with or is it both, because unless she wants to have this club reported to the FA then you suggest she stops this bullshit and apologises to him

[x2boys]

@Porkpiesarespicy

Everyone thinks she's great is why I've not said anything she socialises with the manager and I don't want my sons place put in jeopardy because I've said something if I can't be seen to take a joke. Some of you are making out like I'm not sticking up for him. I have his back but I wasn't sure if I was being over sensitive because 1 it's aimed at my son 2 she was a complete and utter bully at school and 3 I rarely go soo thought I could be making more of the issue than it is. I will 100% call her out on it next week if I don't see her at training and ask to speak with her privately.

Do other parents not hear what ,she is saying ?
Does she say offensive things about other kids ?

[Skatastic]

If someone said this to my child I would fucking knock them out.

[Porkpiesarespicy]

@Branleuse

Of course you pull someone up for repeatedly bullying your son.
Ask her is it gay people she has a problem with or is it your son she has a problem with or is it both, because unless she wants to have this club reported to the FA then you suggest she stops this bullshit and apologises to him

This is a good point I will ask her this is it's just him. Part of me thinks do it in private but the annoyed / angry part of me is saying do you do this in front of everyone like she does

[SummerHouse]

Are there other parents who will back you up. If I was there I would be right by your side to say "yeah, it's not acceptable, you need to stop that now." Any decent parent would. Just might help to ensure there's no drama, just a united front.

[FinishWhatWeStarted]

Holy shit I would be raging about that. I'd be speaking to the coach if you don't feel comfortable approaching the parent.

[iklboo]

In jest? It's homophobic slurs against a child. I'd rip the nasty bastard a new one, make a complaint to the board / managers and ask for him to be banned from the touch lines.

[Cherrysoup]

I’d have gone ballistic the first time I heard that. What is she, 12? It’s the kind of childish shit I pull the kids up on at school, then they get a lecture about using gay as an insult. Absolutely outrageous.

[Cherrysoup]

I’d go very public with bollocking her, she’s done it to him in public. Horrible bullying cow.