To wonder if Mumsnet is full of men who are a waste of space

[DownToTheSeaAgain]

...or most men are a waste of space so Mumsnet just reflects the real world.

@crackofdoom

User Yep, it’s the reality of having kids……. …..with a man 🙄

Then don't.

If someone's partner is a waste of space, then why are they even with them? It doesn't say much for them that they've chose that person.

Because they are all (apparently) amazing Dads

No, no they really aren't.

I realise that posters in happy relationships are not as likely to post on here so there is a very skewed view, but it is deeply depressing to read about how low non existent people's standards are and how much they will put up with because they have absolutely no concept of what a happy, healthy relationship is.

Also, I know that people who have been through the same issues can be very supportive and give wise advice, but there is a current thread about spending money for a weekend away and there are just soooo many posters whose first thought is drugs, strippers and prostitutes. Why? Why is this the first (and only) thing that springs to mind?

Someone posts about something completely innocuous and people jump in with completely OTT suggestions like hiring private detectives, putting trackers on phones/cars, writing anonymous notes, calling from witheld numbers. This is real life - not a bloody James Bond film.

There are lots of decent men about. As pp have said, you don’t tend to hear about the ideal men who make ideal partners. I don’t start thread after thread about how perfect DH is.

However I do think a huge proportion of women seem to put up with less than decent men and that’s reinforced because the women around them also do so, which the creates the sense that all men are like that and that’s just the way it is, and you’re better off just resigning yourself to it. That’s just wrong and very sad.

@vajingleberry

If someone's partner is a waste of space, then why are they even with them? It doesn't say much for them that they've chose that person.

Because they are all (apparently) amazing Dads

No, no they really aren't.

I realise that posters in happy relationships are not as likely to post on here so there is a very skewed view, but it is deeply depressing to read about how low non existent people's standards are and how much they will put up with because they have absolutely no concept of what a happy, healthy relationship is.

Also, I know that people who have been through the same issues can be very supportive and give wise advice, but there is a current thread about spending money for a weekend away and there are just soooo many posters whose first thought is drugs, strippers and prostitutes. Why? Why is this the first (and only) thing that springs to mind?

Someone posts about something completely innocuous and people jump in with completely OTT suggestions like hiring private detectives, putting trackers on phones/cars, writing anonymous notes, calling from witheld numbers. This is real life - not a bloody James Bond film.

Yeah, it's also a sliding scale. You can nitpick from 'forgot to put the bins out last week' (LTB) to 'he doesn't help out enough around the house' (could be rectified).

But if you want to call a man useless, or a waste of space, yet you married him, then don't expect a gold star for it and take some responsibility for your own choices.

"Straight in with the NAMALT"
Ffs 😂😂😂😂😂

Topic: are all men like this

"No"

"Can't discuss anything without someone feeling the need to NAMALT all over the thread"

It’s literally the point of the whole thread - People are legitimately answering the direct question asked - so your smiley faces just look a bit stupid to be honest.

Oh hehe jjust realised that was quoting someone!

So your smiley faces are in fact entirely correct! 😆😆

Whoever you were quoting needs to sharpen up a bit...

Yes, it's become such a knee-jerk reaction to call posters NAMALTers and object to their post, even if they have a point, that they forgot the point of the thread.

I was on the 'lone parent' board the other day and nearly every ex husband had been 'emotionally abusive'

@Journeyofthedragons I think you're misusing NAMALT here. The poster is just answering the OPs question.

@Carolinesyear

I was on the 'lone parent' board the other day and nearly every ex husband had been 'emotionally abusive'

To be fair, the Lone Parent board is unlikely to be filled with women who had wonderful, supportive partners.

@User135644

Exactly.

These men didn't just suddenly wake up one morning and think "I fancy behaving like an abusive cunt from now on, even though I have previously been a model husband and partner".

If people think that because there are threads about shitty men, that it means that all men are shits, then are we in agreement that all teenagers are badly behaved, entitled, pot smoking brats? If you apply the same logic to that as the OP has here then the answer must be "yes they are", except we all know that they are not. Same with men, some are good, some are ok and some are awful.

@HollyandIvyandAllThingsYule

It’s literally the point of the whole thread - People are legitimately answering the direct question asked - so your smiley faces just look a bit stupid to be honest.

But they wanted the circle jerk of 'yes they're all useless' so the minute someone posts "I once knew a man who actually wasn't that bad" it's "NAWALT - thread over".

Women should know that NAMALT. They should be aware that men are perfectly capable of housework, childcare and staying faithful. Perhaps then, they wouldn't accept their own men opting out.

Do all the Mums Netters who think every male is awful and a waste of space, apply this to their own sons, btw? Given their literal application AMALT.

@User135644

Do all the Mums Netters who think every male is awful and a waste of space, apply this to their own sons, btw? Given their literal application AMALT.

I often wonder this?

Individual men can be nice, decent, kind, trustworthy etc

Men in general as a class.. group..
Absolutely not safe for women, world peace and other men.

I think the statement that most of us settle for less than ideal because it is how we are conditioned by society to think that it is the desirable norm is sadly bang on.

@DownToTheSeaAgain

I think the statement that most of us settle for less than ideal because it is how we are conditioned by society to think that it is the desirable norm is sadly bang on.

Speak for yourself.

I thought that you were referring to male posters on MN. And was about to say that o have often thought the same.

Straight in with the NAMALT

Lol. The OP's thread is basically "are all men like this?" so NAMALT seems like a pretty fair (and obvious) answer in this instance.

I don’t think ‘most of us’ settle for less than decent men.

I think many women do, though.

@waferingstranger

Straight in with the NAMALT

Lol. The OP's thread is basically "are all men like this?" so NAMALT seems like a pretty fair (and obvious) answer in this instance.

The people who start doing that that demand everyone says yes AMALT.