Husband taking £400 spending money for 2 nights in Liverpool..aibu to think it's ridiculous?

[rachybarrr]

He has gone to Liverpool till Monday.
The hotel is paid for and includes breakfast.
He has taken £400 spending money.

He said "the bars are quite expensive down there"

So basically he is happy to potentially waste £400 on alcohol for two nights.

I'm annoyed and think it's pathetic
He said we are going for a nice meal tonight too.

£400 for two nights is just scandalous I think

Is Manchester or Liverpool more expensive for a night out ?

I rarely do much really.
Just booked a festive afternoon tea for December with my friend and that was £25 and that's all il spend this month.
That was out of my £200 spends tho not the savings.

He spends more than me by a mile.
Football away days,dart trips.

His excuse is "well we saved a fortune during lockdown"

I must live in a parallel universe to most posters on here - I think £400 for two nights of food and drink for one person is absolutely extortionate

For 2 of us we certainly could get through that much and some but would include meals at quite nice restaurants not just booze and the cavern club was £20 each to get in (excellent though). £300 is probably enough per person though unless going to very swanky restaurants

@torquewench my brother parked there about 10 years ago when he met up with dp and I and he's STILL going on about it. 😂😂😂

But needs money for lunch and dinner x2.

@rachybarrr

Is Manchester or Liverpool more expensive for a night out ?

They're about the same. The PP who said they wouldn't spend £100 on a night out in Manchester has obviously never been out on the lash with me.

I wouldn't be putting any more money into joint savings in your circumstances. And I would withdraw my half before its all gone.

@rachybarrr I thought Liverpool was cheap for a night out but I live down south (not London) cocktails were £8 each and beer was circa £4.50 in the city centre, wine was quite cheap at £7 a glass

As other posters have said now is the time to re budget. You have a set amount of spends each paid into a personal account. He then has to budget accordingly. If he needs more, you get more. At the moment he has the £200 and access to your joint savings. Besides the £400 I presume he will have paid for the hotel as well. That's a lot of family money to spend on one person.

So essentially he can spend as much as wants but has a go at you for buying a jacket for £50?

I don’t actually think that’s a lot. Me and DP went on a rare night out last night in Manchester (out at 7, home for 1230). We got an Uber each way, a meal with two drinks each and then went to the bar next door for a few drinks. We spent £200 between us and whilst we were tipsy neither of us were smashed and we’re not hungover today.

So I think if they’ll be eating Lunch & Dinner plus activities and drinking for two days then £400 is probably a little more than he needs but better to have a bit more than being caught short.

Nah seriously though it's taking the piss! For two days £100 on drinks and £100 on food and £50 transport is loads surely.

However, I would be thinking twice about putting savings in a joint account if he’s the only one who’s withdrawing that much.

And also to put it into perspective of Manchester prices, I went out with my friends for my birthday for Bottomless Brunch a few months ago and got pretty hammered. I spent £100 (taxis inclusive) One of my friends spent £150.

Your attitudes to money are completely mismatched. If he's a spender and you're a saver you'll always feel resentful. It's no way to live op.

I'll not shout LTB but I do think that you need to think about whether you can spend your life with somebody so very different to you.

Easily spent on lunch, dinner, drinks, parking etc. Different if going full board or you don’t drink.

They do have ATMs in Liverpool.

I agree with pp, you should have your own savings or withdraw to match what he spends. At the moment he’s using your savings to spend a lot of money and then has the cheek to go on about you getting a reasonably priced coat !

Every time he makes a withdrawal to spend on himself I'd be withdrawing the same amount
Open up your own account, then you can do what you want with the money, as does he

@rachybarrr Liverpool is slightly more, but not by much.

He doesn’t need an “excuse” to go out.

@rachybarrr

Everything after bills and £200 each spending money goes into the savings account. Then if we go anywhere (mostly him ) it's taken back out of savings. I find it easier for the months when nothing is planned. If it was sat in the current account it's too easy to get spendy and just start tapping your card for everything.

Normally £1,000 goes into savings every month but we normally spend £100/£200 if we go on a day trip with kids etc

Obviously it depends a lot on your personal circumstances, needs of your kids, whether you've got pensions etc but, in general, I'd say that, if you can afford to save £1000 per month, you can easily afford for one of you to spend £400 on the occasional weekend away. You're a long time dead. It's fantastic to have savings, but you do need some fun along the way.

The issue you have is fairness. If DH can spend £400 on fun, then so can you.

And I think you need some personal savings too. I'd say this to any woman, but especially one whose DH feels entitled to dip into joint savings without allowing her the same leeway.

@KitchenKrisis

Yes it's alot what else is he buying? Female company? Drugs?

Didn't take you long did it ?

£400 is simply a question of 'can you afford it ?' and 'in what context is this ?'

If you can afford it I don't see there's an issue. If you can't afford the issue is a different one to whether it's too much to take for a weekend away.

But please, can the harridans immediately jumping to the conclusion the man must be buying prostitutes and drugs please take a large dose of fuck right off reality medicine.

If it's a rarity and you can afford it what's the issue?

He probably won't spend it all but it's nice to have the option.

It won't just be drinks though, there's food and everything else.

He could easily spend £30 a meal, even at Spoons. Drinks on top of that, if they're going to bars/clubs, a single drink can be the wrong side of a tenner. Entrance fees on top of that etc. Maybe some street food?

£400 is a normal amount for a weekend away with all the sightseeing and meals out.

However, the problem is you have 'joint' savings that actually only exist as a fun money slush fund for him. Transfer £400 out of the joint savings and put it in your own private savings account to even things up. Surely he couldn't be annoyed at that? (Obviously he will be though because he thinks the savings are his alone)

When he comes back you might need to have a discussion about money and how a £50 jacket for you caused outrage, but a £400 bender for him is apparently perfectly OK.