Husband taking £400 spending money for 2 nights in Liverpool..aibu to think it's ridiculous?

[rachybarrr]

He has gone to Liverpool till Monday.
The hotel is paid for and includes breakfast.
He has taken £400 spending money.

He said "the bars are quite expensive down there"

So basically he is happy to potentially waste £400 on alcohol for two nights.

I'm annoyed and think it's pathetic
He said we are going for a nice meal tonight too.

£400 for two nights is just scandalous I think

I went on a night out in Manchester recently with my best friend (first since Pre Covid) and spent nearly £200.

Meal out was £120 for two of us, split that was £60.
Went to a recommended cocktails place that was £6.50 entry. A round was £25, a second was another £25. Thought it was a bit wank, went somewhere else.

Same story.

A third bar, got cocktails.

A takeaway and a taxi home. I woke up with a sore head, an empty purse and a mugful of regret

Liverpool always used to be cheap compared to Manchester but I think it’s pricier these days.

I am aching to go out with my friends again after lockdown. It's been years.

This is more about your feelings of fairness which I totally understand.

I think you should have separate savings, and he should have "bender" savings. It would keep everything fair.

But please, can the harridans immediately jumping to the conclusion the man must be buying prostitutes and drugs please take a large dose of fuck right off reality medicine

This. I can easily spend £400 on a weekend away, even though I have a pathetic alcohol tolerance, and the only drug I would be using is ibuprofen 😀

I think I'm spoilt at how cheap it is where we live.
Can't believe it's normal these days to spend £100 on a night out at its cheapest

For me, the amount is irrelevant (£400 is a lot to spend but a good amount to have for flexibility). The fact he is taking joint money for himself would annoy me though unless I could take the same for myself.

@icedcoffees

I must live in a parallel universe to most posters on here - I think £400 for two nights of food and drink for one person is absolutely extortionate

I think I'm in the same universe. I can see how it would add up. Bars in big cities are expensive. If you're getting food as well and were just eating wherever, then yes you could burn through that. But I would just be worried that I could have filled up my oil tank and had central heating and hot water for most of the year with that. It's basically a week's earnings gone in 48 hours. I couldn't do it. But I suspect for many of the posters here it doesn't take that long to earn £400 and that's a whole other debate.

Is he going on the trip with other men who are drinkers, if so, he will probably drink more, and be paying for rounds etc, so can soon plough through a lot of cash then.

You're asking mumsnet, OP. £400 is spare change to many of the people posting here. I agree with you that it's a lot of money for two days and think half that would be plenty.

It depends on the night out: DS and girlfriend clubbing in London, easily £150 going carefully and eating cheaply, probably late at night and on the way home.

DH and I: theatre tickets £200, dinner £100, theatre drinks £40, taxi home £45 is.

We don't go on the lash or drink excessively; would rather spend on nice things.

What is it for? A wedding? Bucks night? Are there strip clubs there? I only ask because he seems to be going on his own.

@lescompagnonsdeloue

She doesn't sound controlling, she sounds pissed off. How on earth did you get controlling from that, *@Puffalicious*? She thought he was spending £400 on drink. Others have pointed out there will be other costs. But there's always some poor person out there who wants to leap to "controlling", so well done, today it was you.

You can pipe down. This was before the update of the imbalanced spending and that he would object to OP doing the same spend.

If my DH objected to me spending money on a weekend away I would think he was controlling. Therefore, from the information I had it seemed a little controlling. FYI I'm not 'some poor person' and I encouraged the OP to book somewhere nice for herself, so hardly getting on at her. Bloody keep your insults to yourself.

After the extra information OP YADNBU. If he's going on about a £50 jacket I'd be raging at his casual spending of £400. Like I and others have said, get yourself a weekend away booked.

@rachybarrr

I think I'm spoilt at how cheap it is where we live. Can't believe it's normal these days to spend £100 on a night out at its cheapest

It's not necessarily normal or the cheapest. But it is easily done, unless you're really trying hard to keep the budget down.

Op I can go out with a tenner and come back with change after food and drinks (( good old wetherspoons and their deli deals))

But even I'll push the boat out if im going for a weekend away 😂😂😂

If it's in a joint account, can't you see what he's spending it on? I don't think £400 is necessarily ridiculous, but will he spend it all or is it just a buffer to ensure he doesn't unintentionally eat into money for bills?

He sounds sensible tbh. I love how other posters immediately jump to prostitutes and drugs. I must live in a different world.

Okay woah. Just read your updates OP.

So you're both putting money into the joint savings account, but he is spending it on himself? So he's spending your money on himself? Ah, no, that needs to stop.

Get a savings account that doesn't have a debit card. Maybe you need a joint account for shared spending, a separate savings accounts with high interest that doesn't get touched except in genuine emergencies, and if your husband wants to spend extra on trips etc, then he needs to save that out of his own spending money.

I would be very, very careful about your money, OP. You need to protect yourself.

For the next two years at least you'll be able to use this crazy spending to justify whatever the hell you want to spend in Zara. Look at it as a get out of jail free card for your future extravagances.

@BertramLacey I think that's what it is with me,my weekly earnings is just over £310 so it's like a weeks worth of work for me.

You need to nip that inequality in the bud straightaway! Whatever he spends, you get the same amount! And if it’s too much for you to be allowed, then he doesn’t get it either.

@MobyDicksTinyCanoe well this is me too,chicken tikka masala and a Malibu for £8

Sounds the right amount but taking cash ? Like in his pocket ??

He will get robbed. Tell him you’re concerned for his safety & to use his debit card only.

Then follow his usage online.

He’ll need to eat, breakfast won’t fill him up for 24 hours, transport probably taxis. Drinks. Entry to club, gambling/casino.

It doesn’t sound extortionate to me…me and DH will often spend around £1000 on a weekend away in a city, not including the hotel but that would be a proper break for us including sightseeing and activities and two very nice meals and cocktails and wine. We went to Liverpool in 2017 for my 30th and we spent £400 on food alone but that did include a taster menu with champagne…I wouldn’t expect to spend that if one of my meals was in Weatherspoons!

Out of the £1000 a month going into savings, how much does each of you put in?

Yeah I can easily see this done to be honest!