Husband taking £400 spending money for 2 nights in Liverpool..aibu to think it's ridiculous?

[rachybarrr]

He has gone to Liverpool till Monday.
The hotel is paid for and includes breakfast.
He has taken £400 spending money.

He said "the bars are quite expensive down there"

So basically he is happy to potentially waste £400 on alcohol for two nights.

I'm annoyed and think it's pathetic
He said we are going for a nice meal tonight too.

£400 for two nights is just scandalous I think

I'd would be pissed off if my boyfriend withdrew money from our joint savings account to pay for a weekend away.

Liverpool is fairly reasonable for food and drink prices, taxis are cheap and most places are walkable in the centre. I'd say £300 if he's going out out both nights. But he should be paying it for himself.

And where is your £400? I would book a nice weekend somewhere for you and a friend

If he can afford it, doesn't do it often etc, I would say unclench

I'd take this amount for two nights on a city break, definitely! A city break is a treat, not to be frugal, surely?

Why did he moan about the fairly cheap jacket you bought?

@SpiderinaWingMirror

If he can afford it, doesn't do it often etc, I would say unclench

but can he afford it? seems like the OP is actually paying 50% of the trip here, as it came from joint savings.

Strippers.

We regularly go out in Liverpool and personally I think it’s just about enough.

@rachybarrr

I'm not controlling at all but if the roles were reversed he would have something to say. I bought myself a jacket from Zara for £49.99 and he went on about it for a week. I wore it every weekend so I would show him I was getting my money's worth

In that case he's an arse.

@rachybarrr

I'm not controlling at all but if the roles were reversed he would have something to say. I bought myself a jacket from Zara for £49.99 and he went on about it for a week. I wore it every weekend so I would show him I was getting my money's worth

That's the problem, then, not how much he spent (given that you can afford it). It's one thing to spend £400 on a weekend out; it's another thing entirely if you don't give your partner the same freedom to make spending choices.

You need each to have an agreed amount that you can spend on yourselves, no questions asked. That money goes into 2 separate accounts. Joint money is just that and no major spending decisions are made without you both agreeing.

Everything after bills and £200 each spending money goes into the savings account.
Then if we go anywhere (mostly him ) it's taken back out of savings.
I find it easier for the months when nothing is planned.
If it was sat in the current account it's too easy to get spendy and just start tapping your card for everything.

Normally £1,000 goes into savings every month but we normally spend £100/£200 if we go on a day trip with kids etc

I’d plan to spend £500 on a couple nights away in a city for fun spends. Sometimes I spend more sometimes less.
It’s not necessarily wildly extravagant but this is dependent on an huge number of factors, very few of which we know. Taxi from hotel to restaurant, bars etc racks up.
I went to London last weekend just for the day/evening and spent £40 on 2 taxi rides. Didn’t even really think about it because it’s not ‘part of the day out’ but several of these things can really mount up.
So no, I don’t think £400 is ridiculous at all.
Where the money has come from and his attitude to your jacket on the other hand is totally ridiculous.

@Rainallnight have you been out lately? Completely normal to spend this amount on a city break for 2 nights. It wouldn’t stretch to a stripper so let’s not upset the OP unnecessarily

@KitchenKrisis, you'd need more than £400 for a weekend.

Where is everyone buying their drugs from if they can do two heavy drinking and decent eating days in Liverpool and have change for drugs on £400?

I really think you should take 400 for yourself. Even if you don't spend it, you just hang onto it. You need to make him answer why he can spend 400 on himself but you can't.

Make sure he hides all soap, shower stuff, shoe polisher etc. on the first day so he gets a complete set for Day 2. If he brings that all home it will offset the £400 a little bit.

Transfer £400 into your personal account from the savings.

You (as a couple) can only afford this if you can afford for you both to have it. Otherwise he's taken your share of the spends as well as his own.

@rachybarrr

Everything after bills and £200 each spending money goes into the savings account. Then if we go anywhere (mostly him ) it's taken back out of savings. I find it easier for the months when nothing is planned. If it was sat in the current account it's too easy to get spendy and just start tapping your card for everything.

Normally £1,000 goes into savings every month but we normally spend £100/£200 if we go on a day trip with kids etc

that just sounds wrong that stuff is taken back out of savings for HIM going out. should be spend on joint stuff only?

Or up the amount you get in spending money each so its fairer - you can move yours to a separate savings account if you don't trust yourself?

Sounds about right. The drinks are expensive in some bars it can be around £10 a drink.

Plus food, taxis etc. And some spare in case something crops up.

The suggestion upthread of drugs and women afforded on £400 is absolutely ridiculous.

Put it as £200 a day.

Lunch and a drink. £20. Dinner £60. Taxis possibly, £10. That's down to £110 for a night out. £10 on the kebab at the end of the night. That's £100 on the drinks part of the evening. If they go to a club and get a table, they'll have to all chip in. It's easily done. How many places are charging entry fees as well.

I budgeted about £500 spending money to Edinburgh for 5 days and didn’t spend all. That included sight seeing apart from one prebooked trip: more expensive nice meal one night and the rest cheaper brekkie and teas out. Not forgetting drinks. Not huge amounts but alcohol most days.

If it’s purely drinks/food money £200/£250 would be enough for me for two days. £100 is a lot of money to me for a night out, I can spend less in Manchester City centre. I don’t need to go to really expensive places. Still can pay £6/7 for a class of wine or £10 cocktail though.

I know the responses are mostly that it’s fine I feel that depending on his tastes £400 seems a lot of money to me on just drinking/eating for 2 days.

YANBU at all.

Of course it’s a stupid waste of money to piss away £400 over 3 days on food and booze. However, I’ve never had a partner who prioritised that kind of lifestyle so I can’t imagine how you move forward when you have such different spending priorities?

@GoodnightGrandma

It’ll cost that much to park in the Number One car park !!!

🤣 I refuse to park there. I always feel like I should be given a set of deeds, the price they charge!

You are right OP.Its a shit load of wasted money.No wonder,there are always pictures in the News of drunk people being scraped of the pavement and wasting A&E time! Why dont you take £400 and stay a week in a lovely Air B&B away from your DH?

I'm concerned that you say you both pay into the savings account, but when he wants to go out (fairly regularly by the sound of it) he just helps himself. And then you added about the £50 jacket.

Let him go on his weekend jolly, don't focus only on the £400 but while he's away use the time to have a good think about how the finances work out more widely. Is it always as unfair as this?