Husband taking £400 spending money for 2 nights in Liverpool..aibu to think it's ridiculous?

[rachybarrr]

He has gone to Liverpool till Monday.
The hotel is paid for and includes breakfast.
He has taken £400 spending money.

He said "the bars are quite expensive down there"

So basically he is happy to potentially waste £400 on alcohol for two nights.

I'm annoyed and think it's pathetic
He said we are going for a nice meal tonight too.

£400 for two nights is just scandalous I think

[quote Kylereese]@ShaneTheThird it does to me - but it just depends on what lifestyle you’re used too I suppose.

Some people buy fords, some buy Porsche

Horses for courses[/quote]
It's quiet obviously not a lifestyle this man is used to then when he has taken the money from joint savings and complains about his wife buying a £50 coat.

It doesn't sound like OP's husband is in Porsche territory though.

To spend that much you'd need to be ordering bottles of spirits, VIP area etc. In my wealthier days we got bottles of grey goose for I think it was £200 a pop. A full grown man could easily put a bottle of that away in a club, plus pints throughout the day, a few shots etc. Dinner.
One memorable afternoon in a bar in ibiza 6 of us ran up a 2k tab after about 4 hours.

It is possible, but I don't think OP's husband is living that kind of lifestyle from what she's said.

Jeez, I would hate to put down what I could spend on a 2/3 day trip with mates! I also find it really offensive that so many people are going straight to drugs/ strippers/ etc.

Virtually all bars/ restaurants have put their alcohol prices up post lockdowns. I ate out about a fortnight ago and a bottle of wine that I could buy online for 20 quid was 80 quid in the restaurant. I settled for a wine that would normally be 40 quid but cost me 120 quid. Add on champagne cocktail/ digestifs - the meal was not remotely cheap.

It’s a lot of money for 2/3 days. But it doesn’t mean that it’s been spent on drugs! I mean it may have been but shouldn’t be defaulting to that. I could spend that amount in any major city (including liverpool) without trying too hard. Order really nice champagne a few times, jobs a good un.

We also have no context of how often this happens. Was this the first mates trip post all the lockdowns? If so, it’s sort of understandable if they had a blow out.

I still don’t agree with the grief over the 50 quid jacket though. That, in comparison to this is pure financial inequality and I wouldn’t put up with it.

I think the OP said she had children. I asked her if they go away as a family or do other fun stuff earlier in the thread But she didn't reply. £800 would have got them a lovely family weekend away somewhere, or a break for both of them for a couples getaway.
Threads like this make me realise that women are still putting up with shit like this from men. My dh Would never in a million years have spent £800 on a piss up!

He spend £180 in the sports shop
A new Man U top and a Adidas hoodie

I'd be budgeting about £80 a day for food & drink plus shopping. So I reckon about £250-£300 tops.

If money was tight I could do it on £50 a day.

A football shirt is about £70 right? So he spent £110 on a hoodie , but apparently £50 for a Zara jacket is unreasonable...

I don't know why you're being so passive about this op. It's not okay.

I do hope you're planning to treat yourself to something you have your eye on , especially as you saved so much money during lockdown.

@rachybarrr

He spend £180 in the sports shop A new Man U top and a Adidas hoodie

Ah okay so we're back to sub £400 for the drinks and food.

All fair enough but his outrage at the £50 jacket doesn't add up if he's spending over 3 times that in clothes that are way less useful!

Taking cash is dodgy as fuck, most people pay for everything on their card now. No paper trail when he’s using cash, I’d put money on it being strip bars.

@Hemingwayscats

Taking cash is dodgy as fuck, most people pay for everything on their card now. No paper trail when he’s using cash, I’d put money on it being strip bars.

He transferred the money from the savings account to his current account.

He didn't have a little brown envelope of used tenners.

What’s more ridiculous is the number of women assuming that any men going for a weekend away must include drugs, prositutes and strippers. This lack of respectful / trusting relationships is really sad

I don't think 400 quid is too bad for a lads 2 night break.

They will start drinking as soon as they get there no doubt.

So that's 2 all day drinks, 2 breakfasts, 2 lunches with drinks, 2 evening meals and drinks and drinks in between

If the family can afford it then I don't see the problem. The comment about the coat would piss me off, but next time he says something along the same lines remind he his spent 600 ish quid on a weekend away

The comment about the coat would piss me off, but next time he says something along the same lines remind he his spent 600 ish quid on a weekend away

£600+, plus hotel and travel. More like £800.

@Feedingthebirds1 what does it matter how much he spends ( 600 or 800) if they can afford it. We all need a blow out now and again and time away with friends. My point was if he's ok with spending that amount, then he shouldn't be giving the op a hard time about buying a new jacket.

Apologies if this has already been said I've read all OP but skimmed a bit.
What's yours is mine and what's mine is mine.

You are both putting the same amount into the household and particularly into savings.
But he is taking a much bigger proportion than you OUT of your joint savings, whilst you are having to justify the purchase of a cheap jacket.

I think you should have separate savings from now on and he should pay for his jollies from his own account. Why does he get to spend what he likes but you have to justify anything when you are actively contributing to joint funds? He's selfish OP and he's planning to squander £200 of your hard earned cash.

@Beehappy21

Me and my partner went to Chester a few weeks back, I'm very pregnant so neither of us drank, think we spent around that on 1 night/2 days away 🙈 If he's planning on eating out and getting drunk it sounds about right? I'd rather him take too much than not enough.

There are 2 (and a bit) of you, and only one of him

[quote WickedWitchOfTheTrent]@Feedingthebirds1 what does it matter how much he spends ( 600 or 800) if they can afford it. We all need a blow out now and again and time away with friends. My point was if he's ok with spending that amount, then he shouldn't be giving the op a hard time about buying a new jacket. [/quote]
Because it's not HIS money he spent. He spent joint money and added debt to a credit card.

Didn't read all the replies but just came on to say 400 is not unreasonable for two days and nights in Liverpool. Used to live there and now live about half an hour away. Went myself on a night out on Saturday and spent about 60 on a meal - food, bottle of wine and a cocktail plus a tip. Then drinks after prob another 40 quid as I bought a couple for other people...tenner for a shared taxi home. Wouldn't always spend that much but only 2nd night out out since lockdown! If my husband went for a night out with mates he would withdraw cash as its easier to have for taxis, food in the kebab etc. Especially for lads in rounds so if there's 4 in a round it's easily 20-30 a round. So for 2 nights that's 200 quid just for the evenings.
I prefer to use my card for a meal but then like to give cash as a tip and always make sure I have an emergency 20 quid for a taxi incase the worst happens and I'd rather have more on me than less incase card machine doesn't work/place doesn't take card for whatever reason.
As for him drawing it out the joint - conversation about how much you're both putting in and how it needs to be fair as that's the whole point it being joint. We have a joint account for joint spends (mortgage, bills, food shop and spare goes to savings for nice meals and holidays) rest we have our own account to spend as we please but appreciate its different with kids. Ps concert Square and Mathew St (beatles bars etc) are a mix of cheap and overpriced but unless you go wetherspoons all night you'll be spending a fiver a drink easily...

It's financial abuse if he can spend freely but controls you buying clothes.

To be honest I could afford this but do find the "if you can afford it why does it matter" comments surprising. Just because you can afford something doesnt necessarily mean you should do it or that it isn't a waste of money. But then I can't bring myself to spend less than this on a designer belt I really want and would use lots so I'm hardly going to think spending it on alcohol is wise. I'm happy to accept I'm boring and would rather spend it on memories (not losing my memory haha) or invest it. I do agree though that it isnt as problematic if you can afford it. If you can't, whether it's good value or not is irrelevant. You don't have it so it would be stupid to spend it on something intangible

It's not just the fact that he took £400 out of joint savings they contribute equally to as spending money (presumably on top of accomodation and travel)
Its the fact that on top of that he can spend £180 on a hoodie and a shirt in a sport shop for this weekend, but she can't spend £49 on a jacket without being lectured and told off.... but then she doesn't need new clothes - she doesn't get to go out socially as much as he does.