Husband taking £400 spending money for 2 nights in Liverpool..aibu to think it's ridiculous?

[rachybarrr]

He has gone to Liverpool till Monday.
The hotel is paid for and includes breakfast.
He has taken £400 spending money.

He said "the bars are quite expensive down there"

So basically he is happy to potentially waste £400 on alcohol for two nights.

I'm annoyed and think it's pathetic
He said we are going for a nice meal tonight too.

£400 for two nights is just scandalous I think

Concert square is literally full of 18 year olds too. Would question men 30s plus going out there

@LannieDuck

Transfer £400 into your personal account from the savings.

You (as a couple) can only afford this if you can afford for you both to have it. Otherwise he's taken your share of the spends as well as his own.

Where does tit for tat end though? That's just blasting more money for the sake of it? Maybe the hubby has unfairly got accustomed to OP not going out and spending? But It's not his fault if he has more of a social life or plans things? My hubby had football days home and away nearly every weekend. His choice to piss money away down the loo, but when he queried my spending on clothes etc I would shoot him down and say you have footy I have retail therapy.

If he’s taking cash I think it’s because he doesn’t want you to know what he’s spending it on. Probably drugs, maybe women.
The big concern is that you are a saver and he is a spender and he seems to have no qualms spending your savings.
I’ve experienced this situation. I strongly suggest that you separate your finances,
Both pay 50/50 for joint costs (and these do need to be truly joint - I didn’t have a car and car shared but paid half for his car because I ‘benefitted at weekends’.
Use your money for your own pension, savings investments and if you do save for a deposit for a house for gods sake make sure you own a higher % of the property if you put in more for the deposit.

Minimum this occasion take out £400 from savings for you.

@rachybarrr

I rarely do much really. Just booked a festive afternoon tea for December with my friend and that was £25 and that's all il spend this month. That was out of my £200 spends tho not the savings.

He spends more than me by a mile.
Football away days,dart trips.

His excuse is "well we saved a fortune during lockdown"

In future pay for all of your activities from the savings? And use your £200 just as cash in your purse for when you need. He needs to get used to you spending as you would like also. IlSo when you do it's not a shock? If he gets arsey over anything again I would hit him with a spread sheet detailing his joint account withdrawals V yours? My hubby is massively into sports to the point he was doing something every night of the week including weekends. He would get tetchy if I complained, ended up we never made plans on a weekend causing me to be resentful. So I then graffitied our calendar with all his activities. The visual aid helped him understand what a selfish prick he was and he has reformed his ways massively. Some men are like kids the more they get the more they want.

Perhaps he planning on shopping or female company or drugs or cab home or night club entrance... If you can afford it then it seems ok to me .

The OP is talking about inequality on spending habits. Why are people making it about drugs and strippers. She doesn't need that adding to her concerns ? News flash not everyone is a junkie and doing cheap cocaine or that desperate to pay to watch a women wind and grind without getting to cop a feel?

It’s quite easy to rack up a tenner a drink if you’re going to the gin or cocktail bars. I wouldn’t be happy with that though.

He is definitely planning to have a very different kind of weekend from what you're imagining with that kind of cash on him - I agree that his plans probably include more than alcohol, otherwise why would he even take cash anyway, he doesn't want the evidence on his bank statements /credit card bill - or is going to do things where only money is allowed i e drugs or paid for sex

@rachybarrr

He has gone to Liverpool till Monday. The hotel is paid for and includes breakfast. He has taken £400 spending money.

He said "the bars are quite expensive down there"

So basically he is happy to potentially waste £400 on alcohol for two nights.

I'm annoyed and think it's pathetic
He said we are going for a nice meal tonight too.

£400 for two nights is just scandalous I think

With lunch, dinner, and drinking that doesn't sound too excessive.

@Bertiebiscuit

He is definitely planning to have a very different kind of weekend from what you're imagining with that kind of cash on him - I agree that his plans probably include more than alcohol, otherwise why would he even take cash anyway, he doesn't want the evidence on his bank statements /credit card bill - or is going to do things where only money is allowed i e drugs or paid for sex

You could be right? But group of people at a restaurant is it easier to pay your share with cash or card? Out all day on the drink? Who wants to queue for cash? Or be that person everyone is waiting on? Early hours of the morning cash machines can be empty? If you've not been to a place before how do you know how much cash you need? Most people then take extra to be safe? And yeah maybe he doesn't want every pint, round or bit of scran showing on the statement as that would look excessive in black and white? Taxi rides and kebab stops are also normally cash?

Sounds ridiculous to me Both of us wouldn't spend that on a weekend away

£400 easy on taxis, paying in to bars/clubs, the price of drink has went up since covid and Brexit. Remember he has to eat and do stuff during the day too. Not just all about getting drunk. Maybe he’ll get you something from Liverpool ONE 😊 Better to go with too much money and bring some home

Can’t believe the talk of strippers and drugs 🙄 They’ll catch a match and probably pay cash for the tickets from someone in Wetherspoons lol

Yabu. He doesn’t need to justify to you how he spends money on a blowout
It’s mean spirited of you to expect that he watch the pennies on a night out

I don’t even drink and don’t think that amount unreasonable

£200 a night on top of the hotel is excessive to me yeah. I'd probably budget to spend £125 each night at a maximum.

Wtf is this obsession with cash. The OP has already said he is not taking cash, he transferred the money into his debit card account. There are many different activities he could be spending his money on than coke and strippers.

I could not tolerate being with a man who subjected my spending to such scrutiny. It’s over bearing and controlling to be so het up about how he spends his money out with mates

It’s is possible for a group of men to go away and have a sesh without it being debauched and involving working women.. costs are meals, return cabs, rounds, fast food,possible other activities eg footy tour, etc

No. It's not too much. £400 means he can afford to get £200 stolen and still have £200 to get wasted.
Good to have a buffer. 🤣

Actually, thinking about it.

£60 for a meal
£15 for shares in taxi
£20 for lunch
£48 drinks (8 drinks at £6 each as an approximate guess)

Comes in around £150.

I’d take that much if I was going out of town with friends — not so much to spend on food & drink necessarily, but to cover an emergency if one came up.

And turn-around is fair play. In the next few months, why not spend the same amount on yourself? Like on a lovely pair of shoes or boots or jeans? High quality lasts so much longer than the cheap ones. It’s only fair…

I would probably keep your savings separate in future so that you can spend your share as you want, it sounds like you are being shortchanged OP

Me and my partner went to Chester a few weeks back, I'm very pregnant so neither of us drank, think we spent around that on 1 night/2 days away 🙈 If he's planning on eating out and getting drunk it sounds about right? I'd rather him take too much than not enough.

Yeah I could spend that easy on a weekend of food and drink.

Wow! If you can afford it ok
Seems rather a lot though.