Page 9 | DP comment about my son on social media

tvsettin · 2021-10-21T16:18:41+00:00

DP of seven months and I live 90 miles apart but see each other most weekends. I have a 3 year old DS who's face I do not post on my public social media. DP doesn't have any children. My Instagram account has recently started gaining a much higher amount of followers and likes. Last night on a video call when discussing this, DP laughed and said "I wonder how many people would unfollow you if you posted your DS". I said I used to post him and didn't lose any followers and he said "that was before your account blew up. Thirsty men would definitely unfollow you if they knew you had a kid." This has upset me, I'm struggling to put into words why. DP thinks I'm being sensitive and that he was laughing at the men, not me. AIBU to feel like that was a shitty comment to make?

me4real · 21/10/2021 23:55

Basically it is disrespecting/diminishing what you do.

PrincessNutella · 22/10/2021 02:23

At first I thought he was completely unreasonable. But honestly, it does seem as if your Instagram is not about the real you, but about a certain glamourized image you are creating in order to build up followers. So if you haven't had your three year old in these pictures yet, then putting your kid in there now could shatter the illusion you have visually built.

Marvellousmadness · 22/10/2021 06:22

Sounds like he is on to something. May have said it in a too direct kinda way. But the fact that your followers suddenly are picking up... and men commenting on your posts... men don't comment on your "I woke up like this" outfits op.

So I guess your dp doesn't like you posting your flirty photos online for everyone to see. And in the process playing 'pretend' as you show no pictures of your kid.
And you know as do I, that if you did put photos of you and your kid, those new men followers would unfollow for sure....

Haveyoubrushedyourteethtoday · 22/10/2021 06:43

Why is not posting pictures of her child on her income generating account, ‘pretending’? It’s her source of income! Why would she post pictures of her child? Plenty of people don’t post pictures of their children on their public accounts!

JudgementalCactus · 22/10/2021 06:59

@Haveyoubrushedyourteethtoday

Why is not posting pictures of her child on her income generating account, ‘pretending’? It’s her source of income! Why would she post pictures of her child? Plenty of people don’t post pictures of their children on their public accounts!

It's fine she doesn't post him, but she's deluded is she thinks that there isn't a significant percentage of her male followers who are only there to perv on her. The partner is just stating the obvious about how some men behave online. And those men would unfollow her is she posed as a mother and ruined their little sex toy fantasy they have of her. Such is life.

JudgementalCactus · 22/10/2021 07:03

@me4real

Basically it is disrespecting/diminishing what you do.

He didn't pass any judgement on her or her work. He was commenting on how some men operate online. And he was right.

It's so incredibly naive to think hoards of men are following a female influencer for her fashion tips or dog pics or motivational quotes carefully overlaid on top of sunset pictures...

Flowerpowwer6 · 22/10/2021 07:06

@PrincessNutella

At first I thought he was completely unreasonable. But honestly, it does seem as if your Instagram is not about the real you, but about a certain glamourized image you are creating in order to build up followers. So if you haven't had your three year old in these pictures yet, then putting your kid in there now could shatter the illusion you have visually built.

So what OP doesn't have to put her child on Instagram.

If OP wants to sell people an illusion we all do that some extent OP isn't the only one. Good luck to OP.

theremustonlybeone · 22/10/2021 07:54

PrincessNutella
A few photos on Instagram or stories does not mean your getting to know the real person. Naive to think otherwise . No one should be sharing images of their child on SM anyway. Many people on Instagram make money from it and why shouldn’t a woman with a child do the same. Lots of judgment on here when actually the issue is her partner is just as judge as you lot. I would t date someone who wasn’t supporting me in the choices or judged me

TractorAndHeadphones · 22/10/2021 08:39

It’s taken you several pages to admit that you post about fashion.
While not ‘raunchy/provocative ‘ they are definitely aesthetically pleasing and not candids taken from whatever angle as you scrambled up a hill all messy.

Your DP has a point. I have a friend who does similar (and does makes money from it) … a fair proportion of her followers are thirsty men.

Haveyoubrushedyourteethtoday · 22/10/2021 08:48

Is everyone who doesn’t post pictures of their child on their business insta page ‘pretending’?

I really find the language directed at the op quite distasteful. ‘Pretending’ ‘sex toy fantasy’. It’s negging. Like her partner is. Why should she give a nanoseconds thought to men if they ‘perv’ when she promotes clothing? She’s making a living. Should Kate Moss give a toss about men who perv on her pictures? Why should anyone? Even if they are one of thousands of insta models making a living, paltry or otherwise?

DarlingFell · 22/10/2021 08:55

I think you’re getting a hard time on here as some MN posters seem to get v het up when posters dare to allude to themselves being attractive, you’re not allowed to suggest that you’re good looking and men fancy you, it’s bragging and therefore against MN rules 😂 there is so much jealousy on this site it’s unreal

DarlingFell · 22/10/2021 08:58

@TractorAndHeadphones

It’s taken you several pages to admit that you post about fashion. While not ‘raunchy/provocative ‘ they are definitely aesthetically pleasing and not candids taken from whatever angle as you scrambled up a hill all messy.

Your DP has a point. I have a friend who does similar (and does makes money from it) … a fair proportion of her followers are thirsty men.

The fact here is it doesn’t matter if the DP has a ‘point’, it was a bloody nasty point to make. Totally made to make the OP feel bad and bring her down a peg or two. I would wager that the DP is jealous and insecure about the insta attention the OP has garnered

TractorAndHeadphones · 22/10/2021 09:04

@DarlingFell that could also be true but you’d need to know his character. And only the OP knows that.

aSofaNearYou · 22/10/2021 09:19

I find it surprising that it's been assumed so heavily that he MUST be negging her on this thread.

I know loads of people who have a critical outlook on the kind of guys that follow and message any random, pretty women on SM. The fact that they often then unfollow when the women post about their boyfriend or kids is regularly part of that discussion, it's quite a common cultural phenomenon to comment on, in my experience. It's not a criticism of the woman for having those things in her life at all, it's a criticism of the transparency of why those men were following her.

ChateauxNeufDePoop · 22/10/2021 09:47

@tvsettin

If you're purposely building up followers OP, with a view to earning money from them, you're probably going to have to develop a bit of a thicker skin.

I have very thick skin. Unpleasant comments are totally different coming from your partner, than they are coming from complete strangers.

But it wasn't necessarily an unpleasant comment - like a few others I took it at him poking fun at the occasional creep who might be following you.

Atlas2021 · 22/10/2021 10:09

You're being ridiculous. One , to be so bothered about social media and two, because what he said was completely factual.
Also, your insta page isn't the 'real you', is it?! Its posed pictures of you, promoting clothes.

KayKayWat · 22/10/2021 10:16

@EdgeOfTheSky

I took it to be a (horribly) accurate comment on what men are like.

From a man’s point of view.

I don’t see it as being a nasty / dismissive comment about you at all.

This.

Not a particularly 'nice' comment, but lets be honest if you have loads of random men following you for posting titillating booty pics online then they're pretty much only fantasising about one thing and it's not being a stepfather.

heebiejeebies45 · 22/10/2021 10:24

The fact here is it doesn’t matter if the DP has a ‘point’, it was a bloody nasty point to make. Totally made to make the OP feel bad and bring her down a peg or two. I would wager that the DP is jealous and insecure about the insta attention the OP has garnered

@DarlingFell how did you get all of that from the OPs post? How was it a comment to make the OP feel bad and bring her down a peg or two? Do you know how IG works lol

Original poster

tvsettin · 22/10/2021 17:31

@TractorAndHeadphones

It’s taken you several pages to admit that you post about fashion. While not ‘raunchy/provocative ‘ they are definitely aesthetically pleasing and not candids taken from whatever angle as you scrambled up a hill all messy.

Your DP has a point. I have a friend who does similar (and does makes money from it) … a fair proportion of her followers are thirsty men.

Admit? Nobody asked me.

OP posts:

Original poster

tvsettin · 22/10/2021 17:32

If OP wants to sell people an illusion we all do that some extent OP isn't the only one

I am not selling an illusion. I have posted my son. There are photos on my "highlights" on my page of the back of his head. I

OP posts:

DynastyBarry · 22/10/2021 19:55

How many followers do you have?

PrincessNutella · 25/10/2021 07:10

The point is that he's not being sexist, he's being realistic.

turnabouttime · 25/10/2021 17:28

Why is your IG account open to strangers and why are you accepting followers that you don't know? Are you using IG as SM for friends or are you hoping to become an influencer?