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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DP comment about my son on social media

223 replies

tvsettin · 21/10/2021 17:18

DP of seven months and I live 90 miles apart but see each other most weekends. I have a 3 year old DS who's face I do not post on my public social media. DP doesn't have any children.

My Instagram account has recently started gaining a much higher amount of followers and likes. Last night on a video call when discussing this, DP laughed and said "I wonder how many people would unfollow you if you posted your DS".

I said I used to post him and didn't lose any followers and he said "that was before your account blew up. Thirsty men would definitely unfollow you if they knew you had a kid."

This has upset me, I'm struggling to put into words why. DP thinks I'm being sensitive and that he was laughing at the men, not me.

AIBU to feel like that was a shitty comment to make?

OP posts:
Grellbunt · 21/10/2021 19:12

He is probably jealous.

Would you be jealous if the tables were turned? I definitely would be. I don't really get how people can avoid it....

Grellbunt · 21/10/2021 19:13

I'm curious, honestly. Why do folk do this, do you get money? Or is it just self-esteen? (outing myself as really ancient here!)

heebiejeebies45 · 21/10/2021 19:13

I did say I'm struggling to articulate why. I think it is because it seems like he's trying to take me down a peg, as someone else has said. Or trying to say the "real me" isn't as good

I've gone back to the OP and your partner even said 'thirsty men would unfollow you,' how have you taken that to mean the real you isn't as good? Emphasis on 'thirsty men' btw the focus was clearly on them and their standards and nothing to do with you.
I definitely think you're being quite sensitive as he really hasn't said anything wrong

frazzlesmore · 21/10/2021 19:14

He's taking the piss out of the men.

Original poster
tvsettin · 21/10/2021 19:14

I'm curious, honestly. Why do folk do this, do you get money? Or is it just self-esteen? (outing myself as really ancient here!)

Either, or both. The motivation behind my account is money.

OP posts:
frazzlesmore · 21/10/2021 19:15

are you an influencer or is that what you are aiming for?

Grellbunt · 21/10/2021 19:15

Ah right ok thanks for engaging with me.

Tittyfilarious81 · 21/10/2021 19:16

I don't like Instagram to be honest for me alot of it is fake ,I know not all of it is but most . Instagram is fantasy and yes men following attractive women won't want to think of her as a mother because that spoils their fantasy so I see where your partner is coming from .

DynastyBarry · 21/10/2021 19:16

How many followers do you have? Tbh the people that follow your selfies are not going to want to see family photos.

TulipsTwoLips · 21/10/2021 19:17

I think it was a throw away comment about the men following you.

DedalusBloom · 21/10/2021 19:19

I have several Insta accounts, one for cats, one for tarot stuff, one business and one "everything else" which is where I put the photos of me. A prize to the person who can guess which account gets the most follows from random men who want to have a lovely old "chat" or send me DMs asking to see my tits.

I'm afraid it's just a side effect of social media. You should of course continue to post whatever content you want/don't want and not be told otherwise

PorkNPickle · 21/10/2021 19:19

Put bluntly OP, he thinks random men follow you for... "material" perhaps Envy and if you started posting pictures of your kid you just won't be doing it for them in the same way.

Original poster
tvsettin · 21/10/2021 19:21

@Grellbunt

Ah right ok thanks for engaging with me.
Sorry?
OP posts:
THisbackwithavengeance · 21/10/2021 19:21

YABU to give even a passing thought to the number of followers/likes you have. I mean, seriously?

But, yes, sounds like he's jealous about men liking your photos.

But I am old so you can ignore me.

Flowerpowwer6 · 21/10/2021 19:22

I don't know if it's just me here BUT even if you have a lot of followers for whatever reason... I think your DP comment was below the belt.

If I was you I would say to him other men see what he saw in you! Bloody cheek.

Original poster
tvsettin · 21/10/2021 19:22

YABU to give even a passing thought to the number of followers/likes you have. I mean, seriously?

It's not about followers or likes, it's about the comment my DP made and what that represents.

OP posts:
heebiejeebies45 · 21/10/2021 19:23

@tvsettin they asked you a question and you responded, they're just saying thank you for answering their question lol

Grellbunt · 21/10/2021 19:23

I just meant thanks for being honest

Thymeout · 21/10/2021 19:23

Isn''t he referring to the fact that it's more difficult to have a relationship when there's a child involved? Finding babysitters, or only meeting at yours for overnights when the dc is seeing his dad?

Is that an issue in your relationship?

Original poster
tvsettin · 21/10/2021 19:24

@Grellbunt

I just meant thanks for being honest
Oh I'm sorry, I'm getting all flustered and confused now!
OP posts:
frazzlesmore · 21/10/2021 19:24

I don't think it has to be jealously. My BIL is into martial arts stuff & has a school. He often posts topless shots, he loves it & so do some of his followers. He's a total thirst trap & we always tease him, it's funny.

Grellbunt · 21/10/2021 19:26

Don't mind me, I really have no clue about social media and am very private person so my opinion is likely to be very conservative!

frazzlesmore · 21/10/2021 19:27

it's about the comment my DP made and what that represents.

I genuinely don't understand what it's meant to represent? That other men find you attractive but they would find you less so if they knew you were a mum?

AlbertBridge · 21/10/2021 19:27

It's not about followers or likes, it's about the comment my DP made and what that represents.

Well, in your OP you said the comment came about during a conversation ABOUT your followers:

My Instagram account has recently started gaining a much higher amount of followers and likes. Last night on a video call when discussing this

Ilovechristmasasmuchasiloveyou · 21/10/2021 19:28

He has a point. Its unfair but women with get more attention when they look unattached. The minute they post photos with their child, that attention drops. Surely you know that?

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