AIBU or is my DH being awful?

[CBB2021]

DH and I have had our fair share of problems. DH grew up in an abusive home and we’ve both worked hard to help him work through his issues. I have forgiven a lot.

We have a beautiful DD who is 14 months and I’m current pregnant again, but early days so exhausted and feeling sick. DD is ill again tonight with a bad cough and fast breathing. We’ve been debating since 4 whether to take her to hospital. DH persisting with see how she goes, we can monitor her. In the end I said no she’s going to hospital I know this isn’t right. Only one parent allowed in at the moment so I said, shall I drop you off? He said why wouldn’t you go in?!

I said look I’m trying to keep this baby OK, can you take DD, I’m not sure I can cope with that at the moment. He then goes into a rant how ever since I’ve been pregnant I’m constantly ‘taking the easy option’. We have had three rows on this so far with him basically saying I’m a cop out at the moment.

I’m worried sick about DD and of course worried about this pregnancy. I’m so upset at how he’s treated me too. Perhaps I’m tired and hormonal and being unreasonable. I just feel like a good man wouldn’t of done that to their pregnant wife.

@sillysmiles

but I still think if my husband decided something had to happen now and I wanted to wait but he got his way and then he announced that I was the one who was going to have to do it I wouldn't be very happy.

That's all fair and well if all things are equal and both people are fine, but the OP is struggling through shitty aspects of early pregnancy. So regardless of who thinks they should be doing it, the OP isn't the right person to be going into a hospital.

So he has to do something he doesn't think needs doing and he has to be happy about it as well?

@BobMortimersPetOwl

I think this is just the sort of thing that happens when couples don't communicate, as you each had different expectations and neither were really unreasonable.

Have you been shirking? What has made your DP say that?

Yes I said it is communication, talk about things, agree about things and it all goes much easier.

Shame on a lot of self righteous people coming on here and putting this pregnant woman down.. there is no reason why your husband couldn't take your DD to the hospital. Pregnancy is hard enough never mind going through it in a pandemic! Hope your DD is ok and look after yourself

@CanofCant

Some of these responses are fucking embarrassing.

I'm glad your DD is back at home OP, hope she recovers quickly. YANBU in your expectations.

Couldn't agree with you more.

Shameful.

Early pregnancy can be utterly exhausting and miserable, in fact for some women the whole bloody 9 months can be a nightmare.

I really hope the OP is rethinking her pregnancy considering what a selfish she is with.

Selfish ARSE!

Well yeah when it comes to his daughters health he does have to do it and not be a lazy arse. She’s been seen and given advice to change her medication so she did need advice. I’m deeply suspicious he wasn’t keen on taking her in the first place because it would be a hassle.

OP I hope she’s feeling much better by now.