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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be infuriated by worn out mum neighbour

214 replies

humanvulture · 14/10/2021 19:49

Driving a clapped out 17 year old Volkswagen polo with her three infant/ toddlers in tow ... all day long... while Dad drives a new huge BMW SUV x5 , 2 miles to work everyday and back because he has a BIG job.
Drives me nuts , yet not My business. Only that she is an SAHM and is perpetually exhausted and run ragged.

OP posts:
IsabellesMissingSock · 15/10/2021 10:33

@itsallgoingpearshaped

He's a giant twat, and I've have told him so. Imagine not putting your babies in the safest car you have for the majority of their car trips.
Are you the OPs neighbour too?
ButterflyAway · 15/10/2021 10:33

You invest way too much time and energy in your neighbours lives. Get one of your own

IsabellesMissingSock · 15/10/2021 10:35

@itsallgoingpearshaped

He's a giant twat, and I've have told him so. Imagine not putting your babies in the safest car you have for the majority of their car trips.
Oh I misread. Apologies for my previous post.
BlackberrySky · 15/10/2021 10:39

If they were my neighbours I would put this firmly in the "none of my business" box and not give it another thought.

Pythonista · 15/10/2021 10:51

Infuriated? Really?

WhatATimeToBeAlive · 15/10/2021 10:55

What's her being worn out got to do with the car?

Pazuzu · 15/10/2021 11:02

If a shiny BMW SUV can cure exhaustion, I'm going to the main dealers...

Original poster
humanvulture · 15/10/2021 11:02

It seems I should mind my
Own business so I think Ill do that thanks

OP posts:
MrsToothyBitch · 15/10/2021 11:54

I wouldn't get involved if I were you OP but I get the point you're trying to make and yes he sounds a dick.

Your neighbour has complained about it and her car is clapped out and the size/space dynamics of 3 car seats in a polo aren't helping with her exhaustion. Sounds like his salary is doing the buying and he could easily have got himself a less flash new model and bought her another run around in better nick and better suited to her. Last time I got a new car, I swapped from a 3 door micra to a 5 door suzuki swift. I purposely got a 5 door to make it easier for future me to access the back seats if needed. It's still not a big car. Her partner hasn't shown any consideration for her or their DC.

Merryhobnobs · 15/10/2021 11:57

I drive a 2008 polo. I love my wee car. I ferry my kids about in it, it is wee but easy for me to park and I would be nervous of a bigger, fancier car. My husbands car is bigger but not fancier. I wouldn't swap. My car is mucky and a bit battered but then it matters less when the kids fill it with sand or it gets filthy driving to my friends farm or the forest.

Auroreforet · 15/10/2021 12:38

@humanvulture. I’m with you op.
My dh insisted I have the better car to drive his dc around in because he puts them first.

GreyhoundG1rl · 15/10/2021 12:42

I'm not sure the "worn out Mum" thing is relevant, really?
If she was schlepping round on the bus with three toddlers in tow it might be different. Why is driving a beat up car more knackering than a top of the range one?

GreyhoundG1rl · 15/10/2021 12:44

[quote Auroreforet]@humanvulture. I’m with you op.
My dh insisted I have the better car to drive his dc around in because he puts them first.[/quote]
Puts them first?! Provided both cars are actually safe to drive, this is just virtue signalling nonsense really.

peachgreen · 15/10/2021 13:31

This is the case with my friends, only she's the one with the nice car and he has the clapped out runaround which he uses to take the kids everywhere as he's the primary carer. She has the nice car because she goes to client meetings and needs to be in something presentable. He has the crap one because the kids make it an absolute tip.

fedup65356 · 15/10/2021 15:41

OP is the 'exhausted mum' in this scenario.

GreyhoundG1rl · 15/10/2021 15:46

I wonder where on earth she can be going , that she drives "all day long".
Must be boring for the three toddlers. Maybe that's the issue, not that the car doesn't meet their exacting dtsndards

Reallyimeanreally2022 · 15/10/2021 15:49

@GreyhoundG1rl

I wonder where on earth she can be going , that she drives "all day long". Must be boring for the three toddlers. Maybe that's the issue, not that the car doesn't meet their exacting dtsndards
Yep the entire scenario has been filled with speculative hyperbole by the OP

I think she even recognised that by the end

Aderyn21 · 15/10/2021 15:56

All cars will have passed their MOT to be on the road, but it doesn't mean that all cars are equally safe. Newer, more expensive cars are likely to have better safety features.
People can be both neighbours and friends, for those looking to pick holes in the OP!
Arguably the neighbour and DH have made it the OP's business by complaining to her about the crappy car and by boasting to the OP about the new one.

ilovesooty · 15/10/2021 16:44

@DuckonaBike

I’d be more disturbed that someone who lives only 2 miles from their work is driving in every day. Could you tell him about climate change, and suggest he walks or gets a bike?

If that doesn’t bother him you could warn him he might turn into a fat bastard.

I don't think I'd consider it my business to instigate criticism of his choice of transport.
Mirw · 15/10/2021 18:00

None of your business. Keep your nose out.

Bywayofanupdate · 15/10/2021 18:07

I drive the kids everywhere in my wreck of an astra, my husband has a nice company car. He needs his car to look nice for work as he meets clients. There's no piu t in me getting a nice car with 3 messy children and a stinky dog...

wingsanddreams · 15/10/2021 18:10

I'd be exhausted and stressed if I had three young kids, no matter what car I drive.

Fadingout · 15/10/2021 18:17

God he sounds like a prince. Poor woman!

Offmyfence · 15/10/2021 18:29

@Aderyn21

All cars will have passed their MOT to be on the road, but it doesn't mean that all cars are equally safe. Newer, more expensive cars are likely to have better safety features. People can be both neighbours and friends, for those looking to pick holes in the OP! Arguably the neighbour and DH have made it the OP's business by complaining to her about the crappy car and by boasting to the OP about the new one.
Arguably as a friend she shouldn't be putting her friends marriage issues all over a public forum?

She's not asked for help in how to assist her friend, she just seems to want everyone to confirm het DP is wrong!

I'd not be happy if I found this and I was the neighbour.

Or worse still the DM got hold of it?

I mean what does OP intend to do, show the friend/neighbour this post? Assuming everyone had jumped it to say the DO was out of order?

Babymama76 · 15/10/2021 18:48

@humanvulture

No! He was quick to show us his new' baby' when he bought it at the beginning of the year.
He could be pretending it’s his but it’s actually a company car. My bro in law does that because he’s all about appearances