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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be infuriated by worn out mum neighbour

214 replies

humanvulture · 14/10/2021 19:49

Driving a clapped out 17 year old Volkswagen polo with her three infant/ toddlers in tow ... all day long... while Dad drives a new huge BMW SUV x5 , 2 miles to work everyday and back because he has a BIG job.
Drives me nuts , yet not My business. Only that she is an SAHM and is perpetually exhausted and run ragged.

OP posts:
Reallyimeanreally2022 · 14/10/2021 20:45

You went to effort to name change even Grin

Original poster
humanvulture · 14/10/2021 20:46

.... 'supports SAHM'Confused

OP posts:
Original poster
humanvulture · 14/10/2021 20:48

Did I come across as angry?? I didnt think so!

OP posts:
MrzClaus · 14/10/2021 20:48

@humanvulture

Did I come across as angry?? I didnt think so!
"Drives me nuts" "infuriates me" and the tone of posts did come across rather angry 😬
Original poster
humanvulture · 14/10/2021 20:49

Turn of phrase pp

OP posts:
Alice0606 · 14/10/2021 20:53

“Supports SAHM financially”

Attitudes like this are part of the problem. Her role is just as important as his, they should be partners, his wages should be considered THEIRS not HIS.

This sounds like a much deeper problem than her car.

SuperCaliFragalistic · 14/10/2021 20:54

Why is it a problem? They are a 2 car family with only one income. Doesn't sound awful to me.

SweeneyToddler · 14/10/2021 20:55

Why are you so invested in this couple?

It’s weird.

Zfactorstar · 14/10/2021 20:55

I had a piece of shit car for a while that I absolutely hated driving around. I kept it because it was paid off and I couldn't justify spending money on a new one while it still worked, so I just drove it until it died. That might be the case here.

stayathomer · 14/10/2021 20:58

Sahm s are run ragged, but I'm sure he's not full of the joys of life when he gets home either. And everyone gripes about their situation. It does sound like this is you though in which case tell your dh you want to get rid of the new car and for the two of you to even everything out a bit

MiloAndEddie · 14/10/2021 20:58

I couldn’t get het up about this.

Plus if he’s receiving a car allowance for it as part of his package there’s usually a clause about the car needing to be available for him to use during working hours. That’s what our policy is anyway.

fashionSOS · 14/10/2021 21:01

I don't understand why you're so annoyed?

If you have a 'BIG job' then you get a company car as a status symbol, so you can look important around clients.

If you can't afford a fancy second car, you can't afford a fancy second car. Plus, I'm not sure I'd want a fancy car for day-to-day kids stuff. It would be really upsetting as soon one of them snapped something off or broke the fancy car in a similar way. Accidents always happen. They're easier to stomach when nothing of great value has been broken!

SentDeliveredRead · 14/10/2021 21:02

Hmm what kind of car do you and your partner drive @humanvulture?

BSideBaby · 14/10/2021 21:04

Oh come on OP. We all know he needs it to boost his fragile ego.

And why on earth would she need a flash car for driving the kids around? They'd only wreck it anyway with their inherent stickiness.

I can't understand why you're wasting your energy on this.

Livelovebehappy · 14/10/2021 21:04

Many people in a one income family can’t afford two cars. So she’s very lucky, because if they could only afford one car, he would obviously have to have it for work.

godmum56 · 14/10/2021 21:05

what a waste of emotion

ivykaty44 · 14/10/2021 21:07

who cares what car someone drives? it really doesn't matter, other than it would be better If it wasn't fossil fuel and not taking up masses of room on the road

grapewine · 14/10/2021 21:08

Way too invested, OP.

tickledtiger · 14/10/2021 21:08

It might be sexist bullshit but it might not. To be fair I don’t care about cars as long as they do the job. My DH on the other hand…

3scape · 14/10/2021 21:11

It sounds like he's all about the flash car and fuck all about safety for his family though. His priorities and the posters on here think the big man should be in the safer car.

NumberTheory · 14/10/2021 21:17

@ivykaty44

who cares what car someone drives? it really doesn't matter, other than it would be better If it wasn't fossil fuel and not taking up masses of room on the road
It matters if it doesn't do the job it's supposed to so well. It matters if it's not as safe. It matters if it's not as reliable. It matters if it's noisier or harder to drive, or won't start so well, or doesn't have the same features that make it easier to drive (like parking assist, cruise control, auto headlights, keyless entry, etc.).

It also matters if one person insists on a fantastic and expensive car for themselves meaning there isn't enough money to upgrade a crummy car to a better one.

EvilPea · 14/10/2021 21:23

Context is everything. She might love her polo, it might be perfect for the job, cost peanuts to run and be reliable so there’s no point changing until either the car breaks or the kids stop squashing pom bears and fruit shoots into the seats.

Or he’s a complete cunt who treated himself whilst leaving her jump starting her rattly old smoking dangerous car.

ivykaty44 · 14/10/2021 21:25

It matters if it's not as safe

thats the only part that matters, you can check its got an MOT online with the reg plate

if you think the tyres are worn report to the police

BSideBaby · 14/10/2021 21:25

It also matters if one person insists on a fantastic and expensive car for themselves meaning there isn't enough money to upgrade a crummy car to a better one.

That would be true if he'd bought it outright but that isn't usually the case is it? More likely it's a company car or on finance. Many flash car-drivers aren't as well off as they seem.

Original poster
humanvulture · 14/10/2021 21:27

To be clear .. she hates her car, is
Always stressed trying to fit the kids In and he bought this car outright for
Himself , if he is to be believed.

OP posts: