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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be infuriated by worn out mum neighbour

214 replies

humanvulture · 14/10/2021 19:49

Driving a clapped out 17 year old Volkswagen polo with her three infant/ toddlers in tow ... all day long... while Dad drives a new huge BMW SUV x5 , 2 miles to work everyday and back because he has a BIG job.
Drives me nuts , yet not My business. Only that she is an SAHM and is perpetually exhausted and run ragged.

OP posts:
StoneColdBitch · 14/10/2021 21:29

What a load of rubbish. We are fortunate enough to be pretty well-off. We have one car between us - a battered old hatchback covered in mud. I think people do sometimes judge us for having such an un-flashy car, but it is fuel-efficient, fun to drive, and easy to park. This poor SAHM you're projecting about might like her little old car, just as we like ours.

You do you and let her do her.

LimitIsUp · 14/10/2021 21:30

Not sure why you are getting a hard time - you come from a good place, I.e concern for your neighbour who appears to be taken for granted / unappreciated by her dh

LimitIsUp · 14/10/2021 21:32

Also many posters seem unable to read, suggesting that she might like her car even after you have clarified in subsequent posts that she complains about it

expat101 · 14/10/2021 21:41

@humanvulture

I'm Not infuriated with her , I'm infuriated for her. She is an absolute walkover for him Generally anyway so this is just another thing..
Sadly nothing is going to change unless she makes it happen.

Perhaps when he was showing his new “baby” to you, a witty reply such as “when does …… ‘s one arrive?” Might have prodded him a bit.

Mind you at times I’m over peoples crap and I would have gone a bit further and said something along the lines that I would have thought he would think of his family’s safety and got them out of the old car before he upgraded…. But then that’s me.

Welshiefluff · 14/10/2021 21:45

You seem very emotional over this matter that is nothing to do with you.

Why not spend a few quid and run a finance check on the car. When it invariable comes back as financed you can sleep easy.

Original poster
humanvulture · 14/10/2021 21:51

Gosh I'm not a bit emotional. She is at home with a clapped
Our car that she hates and is stressed and he boasts about his new beast ,to
Drive down the road a couple
Of miles.

OP posts:
ALittleBitWorrriedNow · 14/10/2021 21:52

I don’t understand why your neighbour driving a crap car would infuriate you? Is it her husband that you have the problem with? …For me, a car is a purely functional thing that gets me from A to B.

dworky · 14/10/2021 21:55

@humanvulture

I know Because she whinges about the car. Thought this sexist bullshit was petering out a little.
It's not only sexism. A good parent would want their children to be transported in the safest vehicle. He's a prick alright.
takenforgrantednana · 14/10/2021 21:56

@humanvulture

Driving a clapped out 17 year old Volkswagen polo with her three infant/ toddlers in tow ... all day long... while Dad drives a new huge BMW SUV x5 , 2 miles to work everyday and back because he has a BIG job. Drives me nuts , yet not My business. Only that she is an SAHM and is perpetually exhausted and run ragged.
and how would driving a nice shiney new car put an end to mum still being run ragged and exhausted?

btw a bmw x5 isnt that big of a car, its way smaller than my proper 4x4 while my hubby uses the cheaper yaris we have to get to work and back

EvilPea · 14/10/2021 21:56

Ok. Just seen she hates it.
Different story then.
All you can do is support her and listen to her. I doubt this is the only thing he’s been a twat about, it’s just the most visible to you.

Are you friends or just friendly neighbours?

ThreeLocusts · 14/10/2021 21:59

I'm with you OP it IS sexist - him assuming, judging by behaviour, that he is the only economically active member of the couple and therefore entitled to have the fancy car all to himself.

You'd think lockdown might have taught ppl how essential caregiving roles are, but no....

rwalker · 14/10/2021 22:03

You seem massively over invested .

Also some people like the woe is me and how hard there life is .

each to there own but if it starts what the problem .

Hont1986 · 14/10/2021 22:07

If the car works then what's the problem? An SUV is more likely to roll anyway.

Original poster
humanvulture · 14/10/2021 22:09

That's the thing ... his theee kids squashed into an old uncomfortable car with a stressed out mum

OP posts:
DocAutumn · 14/10/2021 22:10

Maybe she doesn't care about cars. I don't.

LimitIsUp · 14/10/2021 22:14

@DocAutumn

Maybe she doesn't care about cars. I don't.
Omg - read the thread (or at least the OPs posts)
Rainbowsew · 14/10/2021 22:14

@ApolloandDaphne

I used to love my little old car that I took the kids around in. I didn't have to worry about mud and mess and it was easy to park. DH was welcome to his big fancy car.
Same here, not worried about what happens to my car that I still have.

I daresay judgemental folk think I can't afford a better one. I can. I just don't want one...

CandyLeBonBon · 14/10/2021 22:16

@humanvulture

That's the thing ... his theee kids squashed into an old uncomfortable car with a stressed out mum
Why is her car choice related to her stress levels?
Mummyoflittledragon · 14/10/2021 22:17

Sounds like he has small dick syndrome. Poor woman has had to have sex with him 3 times to have those kids.

CandyLeBonBon · 14/10/2021 22:20

I daresay judgemental folk think I can't afford a better one. I can. I just don't want one...

Same. I've thought about buying/leasing a new car and thought 'nah! I'm better off with a shit car I don't care about getting it messy'

I could. I just don't see the point of stressing myself out unnecessarily.

Aderyn21 · 14/10/2021 22:21

OP has said about a million times that the neighbour does dislike her car, so the fact that posters on this thread are quite happy with theirs is neither here nor there!
I agree with you OP, he sounds like an arsehole

Aderyn21 · 14/10/2021 22:24

When my kids were small I used to get stressed on car journeys - the constant bickering of my son's at the encroachment of their brothers onto a millimetre of their seat! I was really happy when we got a bigger car with 3 properly separate back seats. Little things really do make a difference to quality of life when you use something every day.

Abi86 · 14/10/2021 22:39

It doesn’t matter if some of you people enjoy your shitbox. The OP has made it clear the SAHM is stressed and dislikes her car for reasons. Not to mention an 18 year old small car would have bugger all safety features.

I think if one can afford an X5, id be ensuring my loved ones were protected with a car that has modern safety features and is functional…assuming he/she would want that. That’s the least one could do.

justasking111 · 14/10/2021 22:44

How do you get three kids legally into a beetle. I have a mini that's a squash in the back with 2 grandchildren

NumberTheory · 14/10/2021 22:44

@Rainbowsew
"I daresay judgemental folk think I can't afford a better one."

If you go around moaning about it, as OP's neighbour does, they it would be empathetic people, not judgemental ones.

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