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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be infuriated by worn out mum neighbour

214 replies

humanvulture · 14/10/2021 19:49

Driving a clapped out 17 year old Volkswagen polo with her three infant/ toddlers in tow ... all day long... while Dad drives a new huge BMW SUV x5 , 2 miles to work everyday and back because he has a BIG job.
Drives me nuts , yet not My business. Only that she is an SAHM and is perpetually exhausted and run ragged.

OP posts:
LuaDipa · 15/10/2021 08:33

@Abi86

It doesn’t matter if some of you people enjoy your shitbox. The OP has made it clear the SAHM is stressed and dislikes her car for reasons. Not to mention an 18 year old small car would have bugger all safety features.

I think if one can afford an X5, id be ensuring my loved ones were protected with a car that has modern safety features and is functional…assuming he/she would want that. That’s the least one could do.

Absolutely.

Years ago when my dh had company cars, he deliberately chose the cheapest tax option so we could afford to buy and run a decent car for me and the kids. He says it was more important that the kids and I were safe in a modern car than him looking flash when pulling up at meetings. For context my dh loves cars and I am not so bothered, he just wouldn’t put his own wants above the needs of his family.

Yanbu.

VodselForDinner · 15/10/2021 09:10

@fedup65356

This thread is a reverse post.
The OP is an old VW Polo?
Original poster
humanvulture · 15/10/2021 09:38

This is not a reverse post.
This lady is my neighbour who is driving around with her three small
Kids in a clapped out old car when her husband is driving his brand new x5 which is not a company car.
She has been complaining about it and the hassle
Of three car seats and is generally
Exhausted. I would call her a friend.
My AIBU , while it is none of my business bar a genuine frustration and concern is that her car is very possibly unsafe in some ways and IMO there is no reason why she couldn't have upgraded and he downgraded for safety.

OP posts:
Original poster
humanvulture · 15/10/2021 09:39

Jealous of his car??
Where did you get that idea from?

OP posts:
ancientgran · 15/10/2021 09:42

@CatFaceCats

I always had the older car - didn’t want to worry about looking after my 10 year old one when it was full of toddlers and snacks. Didn’t care if I scuffed a wheel or it was dirty. Didn’t need another thing in my life to keep nice Grin
That was me. DH can have the anxiety of someone's door hitting his car or the GC spilling something. For me it's a box on wheels that gets me places, for him its something to love and care for.
ancientgran · 15/10/2021 09:46

@humanvulture

This is not a reverse post. This lady is my neighbour who is driving around with her three small Kids in a clapped out old car when her husband is driving his brand new x5 which is not a company car. She has been complaining about it and the hassle Of three car seats and is generally Exhausted. I would call her a friend. My AIBU , while it is none of my business bar a genuine frustration and concern is that her car is very possibly unsafe in some ways and IMO there is no reason why she couldn't have upgraded and he downgraded for safety.
Why would her car be unsafe? Do you think she isn't getting the MOT done?
Offmyfence · 15/10/2021 09:48

@humanvulture

Jealous of his car?? Where did you get that idea from?
Where you keep going on about his car and calling it his "new baby", just comes across as jealousy to me.
AveryGoodlay · 15/10/2021 09:49

If she feels it's unequal she needs to take steps to even the relationship out. She could seek employment as just one example. And before people say that isn't possible, we have 3 small children, both work and have no help with childcare. We work shifts around each other.

It's very weird to be so invested in someone else's car situation though.

starfishmummy · 15/10/2021 09:50

I am more curious about why you are so infuriated about your neighbours life?

AveryGoodlay · 15/10/2021 09:51

She has been complaining about it and the hassle Of three car seats and is generally Exhausted. She would still have 3 car seats and be exhausted whatever car she has!

Reallyimeanreally2022 · 15/10/2021 09:51

1 the car won’t be unsafe
Otherwise it would have failed the MOT

2 how come know mention in your OP that the woman herself is pissed off. Instead you just say YOU are pissed off

3 how come you name changed to start the thread??

Offmyfence · 15/10/2021 09:53

@humanvulture

This is not a reverse post. This lady is my neighbour who is driving around with her three small Kids in a clapped out old car when her husband is driving his brand new x5 which is not a company car. She has been complaining about it and the hassle Of three car seats and is generally Exhausted. I would call her a friend. My AIBU , while it is none of my business bar a genuine frustration and concern is that her car is very possibly unsafe in some ways and IMO there is no reason why she couldn't have upgraded and he downgraded for safety.
How on earth is it very possibly unsafe and if it is, why on earth is she putting three children in it? What makes you think it is unsafe? Tyres. brakes what? Is it not serviced regularly?

She is not exhausted because she has an older car, that is not causing exhaustion. I suppose it is exhausting having three young children, I only have two so can't comment on that.

It is none of your business how they decide family cars, unless of course she is driving without an MOT, in which case you should report her or at least tell her if she doesn't stop driving without an MOT you will report her.

You can check if a car has an MOT here

www.gov.uk/check-mot-status

Reallyimeanreally2022 · 15/10/2021 09:53

@humanvulture

I'm Not infuriated with her , I'm infuriated for her. She is an absolute walkover for him Generally anyway so this is just another thing..
So you say she’s a neighbour

And then she’s a friend

And now she confides in you so much that you’ve concluded she’s an “absolute walkover”

Hellodarknessmyoldpal · 15/10/2021 09:54

Does your neighbour actually care about having an old car. How do you know it's unsafe? Not sure having a new car would make her less exhausted.

Reallyimeanreally2022 · 15/10/2021 09:54

And if it is unsafe

Then this woman is failing her children as well as the father but not having an MOT done and driving the children knowing it’s unsafe

ScatteredMama82 · 15/10/2021 09:58

eh? I have a fairly scruffy, sensible 7 seater and my DH has a very lovely, very expensive Audi. I hate driving his car, it's too 'perfect'. I like my family car. It's full of mud, crumbs and the odd raisin. He likes his nice car. We're both entirely content with the situation.

Original poster
humanvulture · 15/10/2021 09:59

@Reallyimeanreally2022 I think you need to read the thread.
I NC for every post on here.

OP posts:
Savoretti · 15/10/2021 10:01

If she drove the nicer car it wouldn’t make any difference to her being exhausted and run ragged though?

Reallyimeanreally2022 · 15/10/2021 10:02

[quote humanvulture]@Reallyimeanreally2022 I think you need to read the thread.
I NC for every post on here.[/quote]
MOT?

How would a new car silver her complaints re three seats?

Op - clearly from responses you must see you’re being daft

itsallgoingpearshaped · 15/10/2021 10:22

He's a giant twat, and I've have told him so. Imagine not putting your babies in the safest car you have for the majority of their car trips.

Offmyfence · 15/10/2021 10:24

@itsallgoingpearshaped

He's a giant twat, and I've have told him so. Imagine not putting your babies in the safest car you have for the majority of their car trips.
Name change fail??

Or am I mistaken?

TirednWorried · 15/10/2021 10:26

He maybe gets a car allowance. My brother does, he isnt allowed to drive a car >2years old.

Original poster
humanvulture · 15/10/2021 10:27

No name change fail.

OP posts:
TirednWorried · 15/10/2021 10:28

You really have no clue what the situation is!

IsabellesMissingSock · 15/10/2021 10:31

Jesus Christ OP mind your own bloody business!