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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I should be able to do my meeting?

189 replies

OktoberFest · 13/10/2021 14:00

DC home today as unwell. I was supposed to be in the office but am staying home so can share childcare with husband who is WFH. I had an important client meeting at 10. He was teaching between 11 and 1.

I suggested he look after DC between 10 and 11 and I would take over after that so we can both do our meetings.

He said no, he needs to prepare between 10 and 11 and so I need to rearrange my meeting. He said his was in the diary 1st (which it is because he has a timetable for the year, but my job isn’t like that) and there are more people attending his lecture (which is routine part of his job) than are attending my client meeting.

I stood firm because it is possible for us both to do our meetings.

Mine finished at 10.45 in the end so I was able to take over childcare then.

He is furious with me.

AIBU to think we should both have been able to do our meetings?

I have been taking on so much recently that I feel very overwhelmed. I don’t want to be selfish but I also don’t want to mess up my own work.

OP posts:
TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 13/10/2021 14:01

Why are your kids at home if you were both supposed to be in the office/School?

CarbonMonoxideParty · 13/10/2021 14:02

He is an utter prick. How dare he be cross about it.

What if you'd gone to work and left him with the kids alone ?

If he's known his schedule for so long he should have done his prep already or got up early for it. Prick mcprick

CarbonMonoxideParty · 13/10/2021 14:03

@TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams

Why are your kids at home if you were both supposed to be in the office/School?
The kids are ill!
CharlotteUnaNatalieThompson · 13/10/2021 14:03

@TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams

Why are your kids at home if you were both supposed to be in the office/School?
How about you read the actual FIRST SENTENCE of the OP?
Athinginitself · 13/10/2021 14:03

@TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams

Why are your kids at home if you were both supposed to be in the office/School?
Because they aren't well
AlexaShutUp · 13/10/2021 14:04

He will need to learn not to be such a last minute merchant, then, won't he?

Justcallmebebes · 13/10/2021 14:04

"Why are your kids at home if you were both supposed to be in the office/School?"

Literally the first 5 words of the first sentence addresses this!!!

CharlotteUnaNatalieThompson · 13/10/2021 14:04

He should have done his prep before your meeting at 10. He's being a knob

44PumpLane · 13/10/2021 14:04

YAB entirely reasonable.

It is an unforseen circumstance, the children are sick, you have the opportunity to both continue with the meetings you have. He could have prepared from 9am to 10am then done childcare 10-11.

Well done for standing your ground.

MrMrsJones · 13/10/2021 14:05

If his meeting was in first and he was well aware of it, why didn't he prep earlier or yesterday ?

Awkward fucker...

CarbonMonoxideParty · 13/10/2021 14:05

I'm rarely angry on behalf of others but he sounds like an utter entitled dick.

InTheNightWeWillWish · 13/10/2021 14:05

Piss poor planning on his part shouldn’t constitute an emergency on your part.

FluffyBooBoo · 13/10/2021 14:05

Good for you!

This is one of those circumstances where you have to make the best of it, and work together to make things work.

You are doing that by working from home so that he's not left juggling everything on his own.

Almost guaranteed he wouldn't have shown the same courtesy to you, had you been working from home and he wasn't.

Yanbu. Not even remotely.

StormyTeacups · 13/10/2021 14:07

He's the slightly workshy one wanting to cut his hours while you pay for childcare isn't he? He should be careful, messing with your job may well cut funds

Gingernaut · 13/10/2021 14:08

Nope. YANBU, your husband is behaving like a prick.

You weren't asking for 'extra' time to prepare for a pre-arranged meeting, you were asking him to take over the childcare, at a time when he wasn't teaching, so you could do your job.

Childcare is is the responsibility of bother parents and expecting you to try and care for sick children during an meeting with an important client was very unreasonable.

Tell him MN agrees with you.

HollowTalk · 13/10/2021 14:11

@TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams

Why are your kids at home if you were both supposed to be in the office/School?
It's literally the first sentence in the OP!
Neonplant · 13/10/2021 14:11

@TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams

Why are your kids at home if you were both supposed to be in the office/School?
It's the first sentence. The kids are ill.
QueenBee52 · 13/10/2021 14:12

What a PRICK

Dixiechickonhols · 13/10/2021 14:20

He’s being unreasonable. He hasn’t prepped and is taking it out on you. He could have done prep at any time - 6-7am etc. The bit you kindly covered for him was 11-1. If you hadn’t got ok to wfh he’d have needed to rearrange lecture so you were doing him a favour.
Sharing the childcare is sensible if you can but there will obviously be some juggling. Obviously makes sense to try and facilitate both of your meetings etc as presumably rest of work can be fitted in out of hours.

girlmom21 · 13/10/2021 14:22

He could have prepped 9-10. How old is DC?

MadeForThis · 13/10/2021 14:27

He should have done his prep before 10.

LittleOwl153 · 13/10/2021 14:28

This is the selfish twat who thinks he should be able to reduce his work to half time, keep the kids in nursery and wind down his contribution to the pot in li e with lower earnings... of course he is going to be furious that you actually expect him to look after the kids so you can actually work.

Next time leave him to it and go to work - he can juggle it all for a change!

timeisnotaline · 13/10/2021 14:29

Did he expect you to do all the childcare for him so he can work? He wants to drop work days, it’s obviously not the most important thing to him! So it’s just more important than you. Please hold your boundaries to keep things fair, he doesn’t think you are allowed boundaries.

MangoBiscuit · 13/10/2021 14:34

Of course he's being unreasonable. Actual meetings take priority over prepping for meetings.

That said, did you tell him when your meeting was to give him enough time to change his plan? 9am should have been fine. As a side note, if it's a whole hour of prep, he's been a bit daft to leave it until the last minute. Was he possibly worried that he'd have to be hands on child care until 10:59:59, then jump straight into teaching feeling all flustered? Could be affecting his over the top response, being furious that he didn't get to dictate the diary.

Marelle · 13/10/2021 14:35

He could prep 9-10 and look it over whilst being in charge of DC until 11. If he wasn’t willing to do that I’d just have gone to work as planned and left him with DC all day.