Page 8 | To think I should be able to do my meeting?

Dddccc · 14/10/2021 18:40

Hmm it didn't sound like he had time to prep before 9.15ish am if he he up sorting kids doing school run then probably 30 mins of prep time then looking after sick kid, what happens your meeting ran over? And why does you job take priority over his? And yes send the kid to nursery if neg test

cherish123 · 14/10/2021 18:50

YANBU
If he needs to prep, he should do it before 10.

Tigger1895 · 14/10/2021 19:20

@TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams

Why are your kids at home if you were both supposed to be in the office/School?

The child is sick. What are they supposed to do? Leave him to mind himself?

Riv · 14/10/2021 19:23

Why is the appointment being in the home diary important here? Normally this would have been when you would have been in the office, so of no concern with home! You kindly stayed home to help with care and facilitate his day.
So maybe next time you go into the office and leave him to sort out the chid care? Just as I suspect he would if the roles were reversed. After all it’s usually the lower earner (usually also the mother ) who stays at home with the sick child.

SpinsForGin · 14/10/2021 20:07

@Dddccc

Hmm it didn't sound like he had time to prep before 9.15ish am if he he up sorting kids doing school run then probably 30 mins of prep time then looking after sick kid, what happens your meeting ran over? And why does you job take priority over his? And yes send the kid to nursery if neg test

He's a pretty shit academic if he's prepping for a 2 hour lecture one hour before it takes place.

My teaching takes priority because you can't just cancel or rearrange lectures for dozens of students. However, before and after is flexible so in this situation it wouldn't be an issue.

Mollymoostoo · 14/10/2021 21:23

@OktoberFest

DC home today as unwell. I was supposed to be in the office but am staying home so can share childcare with husband who is WFH. I had an important client meeting at 10. He was teaching between 11 and 1.

I suggested he look after DC between 10 and 11 and I would take over after that so we can both do our meetings.

He said no, he needs to prepare between 10 and 11 and so I need to rearrange my meeting. He said his was in the diary 1st (which it is because he has a timetable for the year, but my job isn’t like that) and there are more people attending his lecture (which is routine part of his job) than are attending my client meeting.

I stood firm because it is possible for us both to do our meetings.

Mine finished at 10.45 in the end so I was able to take over childcare then.

He is furious with me.

AIBU to think we should both have been able to do our meetings?

I have been taking on so much recently that I feel very overwhelmed. I don’t want to be selfish but I also don’t want to mess up my own work.

Sorry but he shouldn't be planning just before a lesson. He should be more organised. During lockdown I was teaching online as well as having my little one at home and my H did fuck all. Some men want kids but expect the mother to do all the hard stuff.

CrankyFrankie · 14/10/2021 21:25

Firstly, YANBU. Secondly, yikes. He sounds awful :( next time, go into the bloody office and let him sort it all out himself.
We had exactly the same this week. H probably has higher bar for keeping kids at home but by the time we were up for the day I had 1). Decided we were keeping dc1 home and 2). decided I wasn’t going into the office for my weekly visit that day as (i am also ill and moreover) I didn’t want to leave it all down to H, or take our only car away for the day (to park at train station). Fortunately our meetings rarely seem to clash at times like these, and if they do, we just sit the little one in front of the tv for as long as necessary but if H thought he could throw his weight around like that he’d be getting short bloody shrift - and he’s no pushover I can assure you!

Scottsy100 · 14/10/2021 22:17

He does t sound like a team player at all, how old is DC and if DC was home unwell could he have not prepared whilst looking after DC or was DC bouncing off the walls or requiring fanning and feeding grapes (joking obvs) but is DC an age that needs constant attention? If not there’s absolutely no reason he should be furious it’s one day and you both had to get on with it. What a pleb, I’d be furious with him to be fair

greendiva · 14/10/2021 22:32

He was an inflexible patronising selfish man-child. How dare he tell you how to do your job and to reschedule your meeting. He needs to prep earlier and make compromises.

Duchess379 · 14/10/2021 22:33

@InTheNightWeWillWish

Piss poor planning on his part shouldn’t constitute an emergency on your part.

This!!! 🖕🏻

Nayday · 14/10/2021 22:41

Well he's let you know what he thinks of your career then?!

So you stay up late working anticipating the DC are likely to be poorly and you'll need to WFH..he doesn't and won't watch them for an hour - utterly unreasonable on his part.

Sounds like if the roles were reversed, he would have happily sailed off to work and left you to it. He could have prepped from 8. Tag teaming all the way here.

YANBU.

ISeeTheLight · 14/10/2021 22:48

Between this and your other thread OP I really would be planning my exit.

He's taking complete advantage of you and only cares about himself.

Get in touch with a great divorce lawyer. He's not going to change. And for God's sake don't let him go part time as you'll end up paying him maintenance.

timeisnotaline · 14/10/2021 23:55

@Dddccc

Hmm it didn't sound like he had time to prep before 9.15ish am if he he up sorting kids doing school run then probably 30 mins of prep time then looking after sick kid, what happens your meeting ran over? And why does you job take priority over his? And yes send the kid to nursery if neg test

Op prepped the evening before, and stayed home to help balance the load with her dh. He on the other hand did no work the evening before and fucked off to work the next day without a thought of balancing the load.
How do you interpret the op wanting to do her one meeting that she used her evening to prep for as thinking her job is more important? When she looked at his schedule and ensured he could make his classes so she stayed home to be the childcare then?

Op, lesson learnt. Stop being so reasonable and helpful as you’re getting nothing back from him. Fuck off to work yourself next time. And leave him before he cuts his hours down to be a full time asshole.
2.

Ddot · 15/10/2021 21:18

Why were the kids at home?

Sorry only kidding! Couldnt resist.
Good for you sweetie, maybe now he will get his shit sorted early, kids will always surprise u