Page 31 | To think it's not right to charge adult children rent to live at home

Hdhshxhs · 2021-10-10T10:50:18+00:00

I have a few friends who charge their adult DC rent to live at home. I personally find this very strange, no matter their age my children will always be my children and welcome in my home without any expectation of money. I think aswell with it being so hard for young people to get on the housing ladder these days one of the only ways they can is to live at home rent free so they can save for a deposit. AIBU?

YourFinestPantaloons · 13/10/2021 21:48

@Daisz

I suppose the commenters on here would also see nothing wrong in charging family members for meals, such as birthdays anniversary etc special occasions. I know a few people that see nothing wrong in this despite not being charged themselves when they are invited places!

Um, I hate to state the complete fucking obvious, both those things are presents. They don't cost hundreds of pounds a month either.

God I'm seriously embarrassed for you

ThreeGoingCrazy · 13/10/2021 21:54

@Daisz

I suppose the commenters on here would also see nothing wrong in charging family members for meals, such as birthdays anniversary etc special occasions. I know a few people that see nothing wrong in this despite not being charged themselves when they are invited places!

Do you mean like saying "shall we go out for my birthday Sunday" and then everyone paying for themselves?

Do you realise that some people, if they had to pay for everyone every time they went out wouldn't be able to ever socialise with friends?
I'd like to see my friends for my 40th. I can't afford £500 to pay for everyone's meal. We can all afford £30ish pounds. We all always pay for ourselves.

ThreeGoingCrazy · 13/10/2021 21:59

Dare I say it, but are working class people more prone to doing this? as they are so used to claiming benefits that suddenly stop, so are conditioned to seeing their offspring as "cash cows" I actually know someone that was turfed out on their sixteenth birthday because that is when their parents benefits stopped.

Jesus fucking christ. It started off so well

Dare I say it, but are working class people more prone to doing this? yes, it seems sensible that if you're in a low income household you're less able to indefinitely support grown adults with their own jobs.

as they are so used to claiming benefits that suddenly stop you know not all WC people get benefits right? But again yes, if you get CTC and CB and that stops and your CT goes up then money is likely to be tight.

so are conditioned to seeing their offspring as "cash cows" oh do fuck off. Yes those scutty WC folk, popping out baby after baby just for the benefits, then as soon as the Government stop spoon feeding them cash send them out to work in the mines to bring home some cash or get them impregnated themselves so the cash comes back.

I actually know someone that was turfed out on their sixteenth birthday because that is when their parents benefits stopped so your anecdotal evidence is ONE WHOLE PERSON

Ididanamechange · 14/10/2021 11:57

I'm always curious what benefits some people think the working class actually get. The clues in the title- WORKING! We work for our money and often have no more entitlement to help or benefits than people earing 3X our salary. I think one of the reasons rent is charged in early adulthood is the understanding that money has to be managed carefully. Help from their parents or the government isn't likely to be readily available so understanding how to budget bills is a really valuable life lesson

AryaStarkWolf · 14/10/2021 12:01

@Daisz

I suppose the commenters on here would also see nothing wrong in charging family members for meals, such as birthdays anniversary etc special occasions. I know a few people that see nothing wrong in this despite not being charged themselves when they are invited places!

Talk about putting words/ideas that don't exist into peoples posts on here ffs

RedMarauder · 14/10/2021 12:02

I think one of the reasons rent is charged in early adulthood is the understanding that money has to be managed carefully. Help from their parents or the government isn't likely to be readily available so understanding how to budget bills is a really valuable life lesson

This.

Plus some young adults living at home actually earn more than their parents.

Unfortunately due to the rise in house prices it makes economical sense for them to stay living with their parents so they can save for a deposit. As paying board to parents is cheaper than renting privately.

AryaStarkWolf · 14/10/2021 12:05

@Youseethethingis

I volunteered the cash when I started earning as a point of personal pride and acknowledgement of everything my parents did for me. I'm so bewildered as to how this can be so controversial.

It's only controversial in recent years it seems or controversial to the massively wealthy........

Skinnymuffins · 14/10/2021 12:06

My daughter is 21 and earning around £21k in her first proper job. Without bonuses, so that's around £1500 a month if I'm right...

She pays me £125 a month. I don't care about the money but as much as she pays for her own phonebill etc I'm keen to teach her that there are other things to pay for.

She has no idea about Council tax for example, which, when I was a single parent I'd have a discount on this when she was under 18. Now she's over 18 and working, my council tax has gone up therefore this would cover that.

It's a mixture of bills like this rising, she's earning a decent wage for a 21 year old and teaching her that you have to pay for things other than luxuries eg phone and car.

x2boys · 14/10/2021 12:19

@Ididanamechange

I'm always curious what benefits some people think the working class actually get. The clues in the title- WORKING! We work for our money and often have no more entitlement to help or benefits than people earing 3X our salary. I think one of the reasons rent is charged in early adulthood is the understanding that money has to be managed carefully. Help from their parents or the government isn't likely to be readily available so understanding how to budget bills is a really valuable life lesson

But many working class do get top up benefits, i have a severely autistic non verbal eleven year old so I'm his carer, but my DH works full time, we get tax credits I also get carers allowance and my son gets DLA, two full time low paid wage earners may not get much in the way of benefits, but a family with one full time low wage earner almost definitely will.

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 14/10/2021 15:08

Erm working tax credits for those who haven't moved on to universal credits yet. The clue is in the title WORKING 😏 not everyone on benefits doesn't work

worriedatthemoment · 14/10/2021 18:29

@CinstonWhurchill yes and no as you said you helped them financially as well so you supported them
Also why can't posters like you see that some are not in that position
But even charging your child say £200 a month still helps them , they can't rent a room for that , let alone heat and bills
A bedsit around here is about £150 a week minimum , so if my child pays £100 a month to help towards bills , I'm still helping him hugely .

Lightswitch123 · 14/10/2021 18:32

I'm with you OP. All these people who claim they can't support another adult- would you be renting out the room or downsizing if your child wasn't there?! Then why not let them use their bedroom?. Fair enough ask them to chip in for food if money tight/ they're earning. Otherwise it's just wierd.

Skyla2005 · 14/10/2021 18:41

You find it very strange but most people don't ! Don't really see the point in your post tbh

vodkaredbullgirl · 14/10/2021 18:41

It's only weird according to MN.

worriedatthemoment · 14/10/2021 19:03

@Lightswitch123 the rent etc is for food isn't it ? And electric , water , gas all things that are used more if more people Also maybe council tax if single adult as goes up 25% , i don't think people are literally charging by the room size ffs
Rent is just a name for it , or keep used to be a common word used

worriedatthemoment · 14/10/2021 19:04

@Lightswitch123 also
Yes plenty do downsize when there kids leave home or rent a room , not everyone is well off , or wants to heat a large house when just 1 or 2 people home

Whatiswrongwithmyknee · 14/10/2021 19:08

@Lightswitch123

I'm with you OP. All these people who claim they can't support another adult- would you be renting out the room or downsizing if your child wasn't there?! Then why not let them use their bedroom?. Fair enough ask them to chip in for food if money tight/ they're earning. Otherwise it's just wierd.

You know that is exactly what people are asking for yeah? Seems like you are agreeing with the majority then?

CinstonWhurchill · 14/10/2021 20:19

@worriedatthemoment i get that. Equally, if you do not charge yr child £100 per month, that is another £100 per month into their own future hse deposit fund. Just because local rents are xyz value does not mean you need to charge yr children xyz rent or less.

I want my children to have their own properties from the start so, i am not charging them and also helping with deposits . No point me charging any nominal rent for the sake of it as, i do not need it. It just takes away from their saving ability .

I always said to myself i would provide my Dc's with the opportunities i never had and , i have. I waited a long time to have my children . The opportunities i provide for them now is why i waited. I will not and have not charged them . My eldest is now buying his first own place at almost 22. Combination of his first yrs career's wage, his savings and the deposit i have gifted him.

worriedatthemoment · 14/10/2021 20:32

@CinstonWhurchill well you know some of us also plans and then shit happens like terminal illness or being widowed or job losses etc
We can't always predict the future
And also people have kids unplanned doesn't mean they love them less or because they can't afford to give them stuff they are a worse parent?
Owning your own house doesn't automatically make you a better or nicer person either .
Why can't you see for some its not an option and your situation is yours and you don't know what others are and why ?

worriedatthemoment · 14/10/2021 20:35

@CinstonWhurchill as it happens the £100 we will take is going into a savings that he is unaware of that we will gift when he buys a house , wants to travel , car etc
Because at the moment we can afford that but if something changed like a job loss then we would use the money to keep the roof over all our heads
I also don't judge those that charge as I know not if their situation or finances

Lynne1Cat · 14/10/2021 21:59

My 2 sons didn't pay board when they lived here ( one left aged 25, the other was 28 when he left) but the eldest son (now 40) has moved back, then out, back here again, a few times, and he has paid rent then.

PoseyRosey · 16/10/2021 19:51

@Daisz yes I think it's more commonly a wc practice. But it may be because they are not earning enough, or are used to a lifestyle subsidised, until its not subsidised anymore. Or they may genuinely be thinking it'll prepare them for life (though of course, this is completely debatable, keeps DC preoccupied with money rather than a focus on studies, there's other ways to teach responsibility etc) Cash cows is a bit harsh though, hopefully they don't throw them out of the house if DC can't or won't pay, everyone loves their DC.

Whitefire · 16/10/2021 20:01

But it may be because they are not earning enough, or are used to a lifestyle subsidised, until its not subsidised anymore.

I know imagine wanting to keep to the lifestyle that involves being able to afford to eat. How entitled can people possibly get?

worriedatthemoment · 16/10/2021 20:12

@PoseyRosey used to a lifestyle , an extra adult means higher food bill , electric , gas and possibly council tax - 25% increase
And yes it can teach life isn't free and chipping in towards the family pot
Are people so self absorbed and so removed from reality that they can't see for some life is a constant struggle/ battle

RagzReturnsRebooted · 16/10/2021 20:14

@Brollywasntneededafterall

Stealth boast? Some of us can't support another adult for free...

This! When I stopped full time education, my parents stopped getting child benefit. I used to pay my Mum £20 a week towards my food and utilities. Didn't have my own room (shared with 2 siblings or slept on the sofa) so it was quite low and probably didn't cover my food to be honest!