To think it's not right to charge adult children rent to live at home

[Hdhshxhs]

I have a few friends who charge their adult DC rent to live at home.

I personally find this very strange, no matter their age my children will always be my children and welcome in my home without any expectation of money.

I think aswell with it being so hard for young people to get on the housing ladder these days one of the only ways they can is to live at home rent free so they can save for a deposit.

AIBU?

@Daisz

I suppose the commenters on here would also see nothing wrong in charging family members for meals, such as birthdays anniversary etc special occasions. I know a few people that see nothing wrong in this despite not being charged themselves when they are invited places!

Yep, totally the same thing, not!

@Daisz not the same thing anyway , but peoples finances are all different so don't judge

@Daisz your comments are disgusting and offensive. Tell your privileged and stuck up
Just because someone owns there ow house etc etc , doesn't make them a nice person or better than someone else
Lets hope you never fall in tough times as your in for a reality check

@timetochangeagainforever can you not actually see for some they may not be able to do this
Lucky you that your parents could and rather than just be thankful you were in that position , you would rather slate others that aren't
Typical MN i own my own house so therefore I am better than others
Ever heard of loosing jobs , being widowed , illness etc and anyone who thinks an 18 year old costs same to feed as a 5 year old , clearly doesn't have one
Maybe understand that everyone has different money and finances , and understand you were very lucky

@worriedatthemoment I am neither privileged or stuck up thank you, just a person with an opinion, the same as everyone else.

@Daisz mmm ok , insulting people on benefits and not seeing that for some charging isn't an option
Read your posts and they are judgemental not just an opinion

@Daisz

I suppose the commenters on here would also see nothing wrong in charging family members for meals, such as birthdays anniversary etc special occasions. I know a few people that see nothing wrong in this despite not being charged themselves when they are invited places!

A new low comment there. Are you passed or just bored.

[quote Daisz]@worriedatthemoment I am neither privileged or stuck up thank you, just a person with an opinion, the same as everyone else.[/quote]
You posts reek of stuck up actually. Pompous, sanctimonious and smug as well. Probably a troll though.

@Daisz

I suppose the commenters on here would also see nothing wrong in charging family members for meals, such as birthdays anniversary etc special occasions. I know a few people that see nothing wrong in this despite not being charged themselves when they are invited places!

Yeah it's totally the same 🙄🙄

FFS

Oh this thread is entertaining! Mumsnet gold 😂

Each to their own I say! I am a full time careworker and single parent who has received no maintenance from my two disgraceful, disgusting and wholly pathetic exes.

DS24 works full time, in house share but likely to come home, DD19 at Manchester Uni, worked throughout gap year and DD15 obvs at home. DD19 saved 14k last year because I do not charge rent - I cannot help her financially but I can let her live at home rent free so she can SAVE - she needs all the money she can get - she is studying Law which comes at a price it seems - needs to make connections and buy extras (Law Society dinners, decent laptop etc) and all her fellow students come from much wealthier families - I will only ever ask my oldest two to buy their own food (they are both vegans and like overpriced processed crap) and SAVE.

I would only ask for a contribution if they are at home when I retire (God forbid!) but while I am working, I would rather they take advantage and save.

I have loads of richer friends who charge rent - no one size fits all - we shouldn’t be so judgemental about other people’s decisions - family dynamics are extremely complex and diverse.

@MadameTuffington i am same with my children. I have never charged my eldest anything, even driving lessons , i paid for them. I planned him, i pay for him . In fact, i have helped with his deposit for a rental when he first left home and secured an apprenticeship. He is now financially established in his career and i am giving him his first deposit for his first flat which he is joint buying with his colleague whose, parents are also paying jointly with me, the deposit for. We are helping our children.

To have children and then expect them to be on out on their own at 18 , is poor.

How does this then also equate when someone moves back in with their parents after a marriage breakdown? I know 2 people who have had a marriage breakdown and had to move back to their parents with their young children in tow in their 30's.

By MN standards you can be 18 and then expected to stand on yr own feet . Equally by MN standards, you can have children and yr marriage fails and then you should move yr family back into Mums hse until , such time you find work and/or can afford to house yourself and yr kids.

Madness!!

I have two adult children living at home (both in 20's)
They both pay rent and in return they get :
Heat
Light
Food
Laundry
Cleaning
Broadband
Sky tv
A full time counsellor, advisor, sounding board, cheer leader and all round safety net x 2 (me and their dad ;).

I think a fair exchange is no robbery .

@CinstonWhurchill

Tell where on this thread that anyone has suggested 18 year olds to be out on their own or standing on their own two feet

When my son is 18 he will contribute, he will still be massively subsidised be me. This will include a significant contribution for a house deposit which will come from my pension lump sum.

My mum charged me so much I've been financially better off since moving out. Sometimes it's not right, sometimes it's needs must. It depends on how it's done

My eldest was at uni, when she was 18. She is a boomerang and came back, got a decent job few yrs after qualifying.

"@Ted27 Tell where on this thread that anyone has suggested 18 year olds to be out on their own or standing on their own two feet"

Perhaps my poor choice of language but many here have suggested that at 18, their child should financially contribute to household finances. I disagree. I did not expect or need my eldest to contribute to family finances.

I did not plan my children decades ago, expecting some financial contribution back on their 18th b'days! I planned my children,fully expecting to have to pay for Uni , up to and until at least until they are 23 and possibly extended financial planning with, deposits for their for their first homes. My planning has been spot on.

There's no such thing as a free ride. You're doing your kids no favours.

No people aren't saying at 18, people are saying when their dc are in full time work. I have a 26 year old here earning over the national average, to suggest she shouldn't cover her own living costs is ludicrous. She has a deposit and can get a mortgage no problem, she just hasn't found a suitable property yet.

@Mojoj i do agree to a point. I had no help from parents and left home at 18 to fend for myself, literally.

I have achieved through hard work, grit, determination, loneliness, hunger and hardships. I have deliberately spared and protected my children from the hardships i endured. I have used my money to help spring board my children into education, advantage, opportunities and home ownership. Their young lives have been easier than mine and i am proud of that. They have not paid me a bean , nor do i ever expect them to. I planned them, i raised them, i have supported them . Now they support themselves successfully.

@Wtfdoipick yes, in that situation your child should be contributing absolutely.

I have 4 siblings - the rule for each of us was that we stayed at home for free whilst students but once in employment, contributed 10% of our earnings towards the cost of running the home. I had no qualms about paying this - my parents supported us well whilst at uni etc, buying textbooks, helping out if we were stuck for money etc so it felt right that we would be giving something back. Plus, it helped me get used to paying monthly outgoings so by the time I got a mortgage it wasn't money I missed iyswim

@timetochangeagainforever

I agree. My parents never changed me or my sister 'rent' to stay sleeping in our bedrooms beyond 18. It enabled me to go travelling and for my sister and I to both buy houses by the time we were 25. My daughter is 22, never paid any rent and has sensibly saved hard from working since 18 and will be able to buy a flat next year. She wouldn't be able to do that for years if we charged her rent. I'll be doing the same for my 16yr oldson. They don't start costing more money to house on their 18th birthday!

They do if you rely on benefits and/or child maintenance.

Did you just sleep in your beds? You didn't eat, or use heating or water?

[quote Daisz]@timetochangeagainforever finally a voice of reason. I agree with exactly this, parents are supposed to help their children move forward not hold them back.[/quote]
I love it when a poster picks one person's ridiculous and illogical post out of dozens telling them very reasonably why they're wrong and says "Aha, see I'm right, this idiot here agrees with me" 🤣

I volunteered the cash when I started earning as a point of personal pride and acknowledgement of everything my parents did for me. I'm so bewildered as to how this can be so controversial.

I'd have no problem not taking rent if they were saving for college, travelling or a house deposit.
If they were working with no intention or hurrying to leave after 21 they'd be paying for their keep.