To think it's not right to charge adult children rent to live at home

[Hdhshxhs]

I have a few friends who charge their adult DC rent to live at home.

I personally find this very strange, no matter their age my children will always be my children and welcome in my home without any expectation of money.

I think aswell with it being so hard for young people to get on the housing ladder these days one of the only ways they can is to live at home rent free so they can save for a deposit.

AIBU?

Wow, this one ran.

I think, and do, that everyone bringing in money should contribute to household expenses in proportion to income. Groceries, bills, rent to a landlord, etc. (Mortgage is a maybe, since it largely benefits the owner). And every adult should also be contributing to the non-monetary aspects - chores, "life admin", that kind of stuff. Because that's what adults living together do.

But charging rent is too coldly transactional.

They don't start costing more money to house on their 18th birthday

Oh my goddddd

The naivety.

Dare I say it, but are working class people more prone to doing this? as they are so used to claiming benefits that suddenly stop, so are conditioned to seeing their offspring as "cash cows" I actually know someone that was turfed out on their sixteenth birthday because that is when their parents benefits stopped.

Ye that is it.
WC DC are turfed out at 16 the cash stops.
Ridiculous isn't it? Your comment I meant 🙃

It's not something I would do unless they were taking the mick

I'm sure some poster who have young children, might change their minds when their lo get to adults and staying at home.

@safariboot

Wow, this one ran.

I think, and do, that everyone bringing in money should contribute to household expenses in proportion to income. Groceries, bills, rent to a landlord, etc. (Mortgage is a maybe, since it largely benefits the owner). And every adult should also be contributing to the non-monetary aspects - chores, "life admin", that kind of stuff. Because that's what adults living together do.

But charging rent is too coldly transactional.

I think the problem is calling it rent rather than contribution to groceries etc. A rose by any other name and all that. Tbh I'd never heard the contribution a wage earner pays for their food called rent before I came on Mumsnet.

Nor me Countrygirl, back in the late 80's, I gave my parents £20 a week out of my benefits.

[quote Daisz]@timetochangeagainforever finally a voice of reason. I agree with exactly this, parents are supposed to help their children move forward not hold them back.[/quote]
Please explain how that's a voice of reason 😂😂

That poster is suggesting that chikeren don't cost more to house when they turn 18. But what about those who receive maintenance/child tax? What about council tax discounts? Reasonable my arse 😂 More like privileged.

If the adult "child" is working full time of course they should contribute to the house they live in and the food they eat

@Daisz

Dare I say it, but are working class people more prone to doing this? as they are so used to claiming benefits that suddenly stop, so are conditioned to seeing their offspring as "cash cows" I actually know someone that was turfed out on their sixteenth birthday because that is when their parents benefits stopped.

Yes those working class folk popping out kids for cash🙄 If you actually read the thread, people are saying that they expect a contribution for living expenses not using their kids as cash cows I paid my parents about £130 a month when I moved back home after I qualified as a nurse this was in the 90,s my wage was around £900 a month at the time, honestly I never had it so good, it was the only time in my life when I had loads of spare money, and guess what I still managed to save enough to get a mortgage at 27 with no help from Mummy and Daddy.

If you are losing money when they turn 18 then not unreasonable to ask for something if they are working ft and earning, otherwise no.

I will be charging my DD if she decides to live at home after uni. Why wouldn't I charge a 22 year old? I am supporting her through uni with an expectation she will finish, get a job and become self-sufficient. I will help with house deposit.

I think NOT charging capable adult children is holding them back from becoming independent adults.

I personally would never do it, neither mime nor DH's parents did/would.

But I accept this comes from a place of privilege. I am not reliant upon any benefits/maintenance for my kids and they wont cost me more at 20 than they do at 18.

I will however insist they save. I was terrible with money in my 20s and I want them to avoid that.

@FilthyforFirth

I personally would never do it, neither mime nor DH's parents did/would.

But I accept this comes from a place of privilege. I am not reliant upon any benefits/maintenance for my kids and they wont cost me more at 20 than they do at 18.

I will however insist they save. I was terrible with money in my 20s and I want them to avoid that.

My parents took rent from me, they didn't need to at all we were very financially secure but wanted to set me up well for when I moved out by me having to budget whilst at home.

I won’t and dint charge mine because I don’t need to. My mum woukd never have charged any of us 6 kids anything and we’ve all grown into independent adults who’ve had no issues supporting ourselves. Some families may need to though.

We don’t charge our eldest who is 18 any rent.
He is working full time this year to get some money behind him before heading to Uni next year.
His choice to take a year out and work so is better prepared financially.
The world is hard enough for youngsters as it is.
I was charged by my parents from the age of 16!! I am still resentful 35years later 😂.
Especially as they didn’t charge my golden balls brother a penny!!

I suppose the commenters on here would also see nothing wrong in charging family members for meals, such as birthdays anniversary etc special occasions. I know a few people that see nothing wrong in this despite not being charged themselves when they are invited places!

@Daisz

I suppose the commenters on here would also see nothing wrong in charging family members for meals, such as birthdays anniversary etc special occasions. I know a few people that see nothing wrong in this despite not being charged themselves when they are invited places!

Totally different and you know it

@Ilovemycar77

We don’t charge our eldest who is 18 any rent. He is working full time this year to get some money behind him before heading to Uni next year. His choice to take a year out and work so is better prepared financially. The world is hard enough for youngsters as it is. I was charged by my parents from the age of 16!! I am still resentful 35years later 😂. Especially as they didn’t charge my golden balls brother a penny!!

I totally understand your situation with your ds...I probably wouldn't charge rent in that situation either.

But to those who disagree with charging their children at any point..this could theoretically mean you have a 'child' in their thirties, earning a high salary and leaving under your roof, paying nothing and therefore having zero living costs. Why would anyone accept that?!

@Daisz

I suppose the commenters on here would also see nothing wrong in charging family members for meals, such as birthdays anniversary etc special occasions. I know a few people that see nothing wrong in this despite not being charged themselves when they are invited places!

I'm not sure how this comment is at all relevant 🤔

Come again Daisz.

Totally agree in that scenario for sure!!
That’s like taking the p* ss!!

My comment was in reply to @Comedycook btw.

My children always contributed. If they don't, they don't appreciate it. No one gets anything for nothing in this life. It's also a good way to teach them budgeting skills. I always gave my parents money when I lived at home,for one thing my mother was widowed at 56 and it wouldn't have sat right with me living off my widowed mother for nothing. Even when my dad was alive, he was ill and money for them was tight. My siblings and I always contributed to the running of the home.

When I started working full time ( 30ish ) years ago I paid rent to my DM. I never expected to live in her house as a working adult rent free.
When my DD started working full time at 21 I also charge her rent even though its a very small amount, she still saves 4 times more than I do and has a good social life.
I don’t agree with adult children living at home rent free unless they are low paid.