To think it's not right to charge adult children rent to live at home

[Hdhshxhs]

I have a few friends who charge their adult DC rent to live at home.

I personally find this very strange, no matter their age my children will always be my children and welcome in my home without any expectation of money.

I think aswell with it being so hard for young people to get on the housing ladder these days one of the only ways they can is to live at home rent free so they can save for a deposit.

AIBU?

Just because I agree with the op doesn't mean people have to resort to insults to get their point accross. Some people will find it strange some parents choose to extort money from their offspring, and that is a valid feeling and point of view. People should be free to express other opinions apart from the popular.

@Daisz

Just because I agree with the op doesn't mean people have to resort to insults to get their point accross. Some people will find it strange some parents choose to extort money from their offspring, and that is a valid feeling and point of view. People should be free to express other opinions apart from the popular.

Where did you say you agreed with the OP? Your post was just totally ignorant.

Daisz it's the way you are expressing things ie "extort money" it isn't extortion to expect an adult to cover their living costs

Gosh everybody seems to extort money out of me - the bank, the council, the supermarket, the energy company, the internet company, the petrol station, the insurance company....

I should sue.

useful definition ''Extortion is the wrongful use of actual or threatened force, violence, or intimidation to gain money or property from an individual or entity. Extortion generally involves a threat being made to the victim's person or property, or to their family or friends.''

@Daisz I hope you are on a wind up. If not could you clarify where asking my son to pay for his BT Sports, SKY Sports and Amazon prime subscriptions ( none of which I use) falls into the above definition

I fully agree with teaching children the value of money and to budget, but I just think there are better ways of doing it rather than treating your children like a common lodger. @Ted27 I would not be paying for those things either, I would perhaps explain to my child why wanting those things is a waste of money ie my point about teaching value for money.

It is teaching your adult child, that not everything in life is free. Bills still need paying, whether they live at home or not.

I would not be paying for those things either, I would perhaps explain to my child why wanting those things is a waste of money ie my point about teaching value for money.

Difference is I believe my adult child has autonomy to decide for herself but she then needs to cover the additional cost, I'm not dictating how she spends her money

@Daisz

I will not be treating my son as a common lodger, he'd be paying a damn sight more if he was.
And no I will not be explaining to him that those things are a waste of money. That's your view. Sport is his main interest. If as an adult he chooses to spend his money on those things that's up to him.
They are still a lot cheaper than paying to go to a football match.
I currently pay for Sky, he pays for BT and in my view we get value for money from them

@Daisz

I fully agree with teaching children the value of money and to budget, but I just think there are better ways of doing it rather than treating your children like a common lodger. *@Ted27* I would not be paying for those things either, I would perhaps explain to my child why wanting those things is a waste of money ie my point about teaching value for money.

So you'd push your opinion of what's a waste of money on your kids? Poor kids!

Does anyone else think Daisz is stuck living at hone and begrudges paying £50 a week and has told herself she's being extorted 😂

@Wtfdoipick

I would not be paying for those things either, I would perhaps explain to my child why wanting those things is a waste of money ie my point about teaching value for money.

Difference is I believe my adult child has autonomy to decide for herself but she then needs to cover the additional cost, I'm not dictating how she spends her money

Precisely, I spend £32 on TV subscriptions per month and it's worth every Penny. I'd tell someone to fuck off if they told me it was a waste so I couldn't have it

Depends on situation. I'd expect payment as I think it would make them manage their money better. I may place in savings for them, I may not, it depends on how expensive things are.

Personally I would consider charging less than market rate but my DH disagrees and would charge market rate..

Studio flat here cost £450, then there will be gas and electric bill, council tax. There is also another house share costing £560, which includes those bills. Not forgetting food, clothing, bus fare to work, still better off at home.

@Daisz

Dare I say it, but are working class people more prone to doing this? as they are so used to claiming benefits that suddenly stop, so are conditioned to seeing their offspring as "cash cows" I actually know someone that was turfed out on their sixteenth birthday because that is when their parents benefits stopped.

Condescending or what! What a sanctimonious post. And wrong.

@Daisz

Just because I agree with the op doesn't mean people have to resort to insults to get their point accross. Some people will find it strange some parents choose to extort money from their offspring, and that is a valid feeling and point of view. People should be free to express other opinions apart from the popular.

Got it Daisz is a troll for the Mail trying to provoke some publishable comments. Surely no one can really be such a sanctimonious snob in real life.

I agree. My parents never changed me or my sister 'rent' to stay sleeping in our bedrooms beyond 18. It enabled me to go travelling and for my sister and I to both buy houses by the time we were 25. My daughter is 22, never paid any rent and has sensibly saved hard from working since 18 and will be able to buy a flat next year. She wouldn't be able to do that for years if we charged her rent. I'll be doing the same for my 16yr oldson. They don't start costing more money to house on their 18th birthday!

They don't start costing more money to house on their 18th birthday!
They so if you're now not in receipt of child benefit/tax credits/child maintenance and possibly a lovely little 25% increase in your council tax if you're a single parent too.
So, as if by magic, you are down several Hundred pounds per month before you have bought a loaf of bread.

@timetochangeagainforever finally a voice of reason. I agree with exactly this, parents are supposed to help their children move forward not hold them back.

[quote Daisz]@timetochangeagainforever finally a voice of reason. I agree with exactly this, parents are supposed to help their children move forward not hold them back.[/quote]
What a load of nonsense to say that asking a grown adult to contribute to the costs of the house they live in is holding them back. I'd be thinking I was a pretty rubbish parent if I'd raised free loaders like that.

Can you explain how they are being held back?

I will just have to do more over overtime that I'm already doing to survive, while my dd says at home rent free.

For what it's worth - I am a single parent. My ex and I are amicable and he pays maintenance. We also saved hard since they were born to be able to buy them driving lessons, a car and insurance when they were 18 (son getting his next year). Does that make us bad parents? Yes, it got harder when my benefits dropped when my daughter reached 18 but she was working and paid for her own nights out, clothes, toiletries, holidays, make up etc so that countered it. She's always paid for her own stuff since she started work - she just doesn't have to pay to sleep in the bed she has slept in since she was 3 and she takes me and her dad and my parents out for dinner to say 'thank you' for the meals I supply for her, like I've always done and will always do. A dinner for 3 instead of 2 costs a couple of pounds and it means my daughter will be able to buy a flat and be on the property ladder at 23. I'm glad I made that decision.

Free loaders??? Kids staying in their home after their 18th birthday for free? I never paid rent, neither did my sister. We were both able to get on the property ladder before being 24. We've both worked full time since we were 16. Not free loader, just lucky to have parents who let us stay at our home once we'd had our 18th birthday. Same goes for my neice and nephew (26 and 29 both owning a house with their partners) and my kids.

That is your choice.
I personally enjoyed handing over a percentage of my wages towards the household.
In the early days we usually borrowed it back for bus fares to work.
If my DC was saving for a house deposit while living frugally I'd allow them stay rent free.
If they buy expensive clothes, have takeaways every night and weekends on the town then I think they should contribute .

@timetochangeagainforever I also bought my flat when I was 24. That would have been impossible if I also had to pay rent, and yes that would have held me back.

@timetochangeagainforever

I agree. My parents never changed me or my sister 'rent' to stay sleeping in our bedrooms beyond 18. It enabled me to go travelling and for my sister and I to both buy houses by the time we were 25. My daughter is 22, never paid any rent and has sensibly saved hard from working since 18 and will be able to buy a flat next year. She wouldn't be able to do that for years if we charged her rent. I'll be doing the same for my 16yr oldson. They don't start costing more money to house on their 18th birthday!

That may be true for you, but as other have pointed out for some parents, it is indeed more expensive once they turn 18. Benefits/maintenance stops, and for some council tax increases too.