Page 2 | To think it's not right to charge adult children rent to live at home

Hdhshxhs · 2021-10-10T10:50:18+00:00

I have a few friends who charge their adult DC rent to live at home. I personally find this very strange, no matter their age my children will always be my children and welcome in my home without any expectation of money. I think aswell with it being so hard for young people to get on the housing ladder these days one of the only ways they can is to live at home rent free so they can save for a deposit. AIBU?

fourquenelles · 10/10/2021 12:03

I see it as good parenting. Teaching them to budget for when they move on to pay a stranger rent. What people do with the "rent" money is down to them - save it and give it back or use it to help with overall housekeeping depending on family circumstances.

LittleLottieChaos · 10/10/2021 12:03

I think not to charge is incredibly unfair on siblings that have moved out. My brother spent many years more at home than me, was barely giving any contributions and should have saved £££ but didn’t! It breeds resentment.

TheSmallAssassin · 10/10/2021 12:04

I think it would be a pretty poor show if adult children earning a decent wage thought it OK to freeload off their parents. Kids have to grow up, the dynamic between child and parent needs to change. You aren't doing them any favours by continuing to treat them as dependants.

Youarestillintherunning · 10/10/2021 12:05

I actually think that it's irresponsible to not charge an adult DC for living costs. It teaches them essential life skills, it's part of becoming independent and budgeting properly. I'm in a lucky position, where I wouldn't NEED the money from my DC, but I would "charge" a small amount each month, and put it aside for DC ready for when they move out so that they have a lump sum i can give back to them for deposit, furniture etc. Lots of people aren't in a position to fund another adult indefinitely.

Notaroadrunner · 10/10/2021 12:05

I'll see mine through college. After that once they are working they will need to fund themselves. If they did choose to live at home (which I highly doubt) then of course they'd have to pay their way. And I wouldn't be putting that money away for them, I'd be using it towards bills. They can save themselves. They won't need me to do it for them.

vodkaredbullgirl · 10/10/2021 12:05

Well good for you .

My eldest give me money, its not for rent its to help with household bills. As a single parent it helps me out, she still needs to eat, pays toward petrol, gas, electric. She has more money saved, so its not really stopping her from moving out.

MissCruellaDeVil · 10/10/2021 12:05

I couldn't charge my DC to live at home, no matter their age.

Original poster

Hdhshxhs · 10/10/2021 12:05

Ofc if financials are tight and the parents are struggling then I can see why people charge rent

My point was mostly in relation to friends of mine who are comfortable charging their kids rent (about £350 a month I think) whilst the kids are also trying to save for a house
It just seemed a bit sad to me that they do this when they don't have to

OP posts:

BlanketPiggy · 10/10/2021 12:06

@LittleLottieChaos

I think not to charge is incredibly unfair on siblings that have moved out. My brother spent many years more at home than me, was barely giving any contributions and should have saved £££ but didn’t! It breeds resentment.

This is a very good point

changeyourname11111 · 10/10/2021 12:07

If my dc are living at home when older I will have to ask them for a contribution to cover things like increased council tax and towards some food / part of the bills I guess, and would hope that they save the rest for a deposit etc… which would probably be the reason that they are at home - to save. I don’t think that’s wrong - it would be a nominal amount in any case when compared to actual rent outside the home.

QueenBee52 · 10/10/2021 12:07

So Someone who is left with less than £100 every month ... is judging those who have young adults willing to contribute to the family outgoings as they are now earning

Ooookay 🤣

Eustaciavile · 10/10/2021 12:08

It’s entirely up to individual families.
I think it’s a bit silly to question why at 18, suddenly you can’t afford your children any longer as many people, myself included, will have supported several children through uni already.

I currently have one 22 year old DC at home, and she’s likely to be with us for several years. She gives us £250 a month towards all bills and food, car use etc.

If she paid us nothing, I’d be worried about being able to afford to support youngest child through uni which wouldn’t be fair.

Probably if I had limitless money, I’d save her £250 contributions for her future, but in the real world, I don’t.

changeyourname11111 · 10/10/2021 12:08

(Also a single parent and in an admin job, with three dc)

wanttomarryamillionaire · 10/10/2021 12:08

All of my kids have known from young teenagers that whilst in education then they don't pay, but as soon as that stops be it school, uni or college they get out find a job and pay me rent!

Nyfluff · 10/10/2021 12:08

For a lot of people they lose income from child tax credit, UC and CB once their child turns 18. That could be 300pcm. It's likely parents who received that amount of money couldn't suddenly magic it up from nowhere every month now their child has become one day older.

BlanketPiggy · 10/10/2021 12:09

@Hdhshxhs

Ofc if financials are tight and the parents are struggling then I can see why people charge rent

My point was mostly in relation to friends of mine who are comfortable charging their kids rent (about £350 a month I think) whilst the kids are also trying to save for a house
It just seemed a bit sad to me that they do this when they don't have to

It's what they'd have to do if they lived out so levels the playing field a bit.

TillyTopper · 10/10/2021 12:09

I'm with you OP, I don't charge my adult children rent. It's our family home. They pull their weight in terms of cleaning and cooking though.

GetDrunkWithMe · 10/10/2021 12:09

YABU and you know it, miss judgy pants.

Spidey66 · 10/10/2021 12:10

Im not a parent but the OP has a much too blinkered view on things.

Many people stay at home till their 30s. Do you seriously expect them not to pay rent? The mind boggles!

Fair enough if the parents are wealthy and it's genuinely to get a foot on the property ladder, but still a contribution towards the bills is hardly difficult!

vodkaredbullgirl · 10/10/2021 12:10

You will hate me then, my dd gives me £500 a month she still has a grand left. She is the 1 who said she would give me that much.

steff13 · 10/10/2021 12:11

What if you run your household the way you see fit and don't worry about what others choose to do? I don't charge my adult sons rent. Other people do charge their adult kids rent. It makes no difference to me either way. 🤷‍♀️

Original poster

Hdhshxhs · 10/10/2021 12:11

QueenBee52 You can be snarky like that if you like, it doesn't bother me. The way I see it is I am giving my kids a good start by allowing them to live at home for free so they can save up to buy their own homes. If your family works differently then that's fine, I came to hear different view points

OP posts:

AnyFucker · 10/10/2021 12:13

Why don’t you mind your own financial affairs and let others do the same

Whenigrowupiwanttobea · 10/10/2021 12:13

So if your children are working and still live with you why shouldn't they contribute to the household expenditure ie fuel, food and other bills? Why should they keep all their wages to themselves leaving you to pay for everything? They are not exactly learning any life lessons from you are they?

pandora206 · 10/10/2021 12:14

My son has just turned 30 and earns £35k a year, so I think it's reasonable for him to contribute, even while he is putting money away for a house deposit. His contribution covers increased cost of council tax and water/energy bills (particularly as he's a cool freak and has an air conditioning unit in his room).