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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is weird after a 3rd date?

765 replies

cocavino · 09/10/2021 23:32

We kissed heavily on date 2. On date 3, he had plans at midnight, thus necessitating ending the date at 12pm???

He followed up with a text about what a great time he had.

I'm a bit put off.

OP posts:
Hankunamatata · 09/10/2021 23:33

Why? Perhaps he had plans before you planned dates. Perhaps he doesnt what to seem too keen or rush things.

neverknowinglyunreasonable · 09/10/2021 23:33

I have a theory. Did he turn up in a coach shaped like a pumpkin?

Original poster
cocavino · 09/10/2021 23:35

@neverknowinglyunreasonable ah, i see where you're going with this. His slippers were made of glass, but no pumpkins in sight, even despite October.

OP posts:
Holskey · 09/10/2021 23:36

Plans at midnight after a 3rd date is unusual and would bother me. Did he say what his plans are?

Cocomarine · 09/10/2021 23:36

If he told you prior to arranging the date, fine. If you thought you were out for the whole evening, not fine. (though til midnight would be the whole evening for me 🤣)

Whether and how you kissed the previous date is irrelevant.

Are you thinking the kiss last time meant sex this time, and your ego is bruised?

Zodlebud · 09/10/2021 23:37

He was making it clear he wasn’t staying over all night.

Original poster
cocavino · 09/10/2021 23:38

@Cocomarine he said nothing about having later plans.

It's not so much that my ego is bruised that i haven't had sex in a number of years?

OP posts:
UsernameNotAvailableApparently · 09/10/2021 23:39

What kind of plans does someone have at midnight? Can we speculate?

He has to feed his neighbours fish?

Original poster
cocavino · 09/10/2021 23:40

He's into clubbing and someone was having a leaving party.

OP posts:
Maves · 09/10/2021 23:41

Either got a Mrs, or doesn't want to jump into bed after 3 dates...let's face it no one has plans at midnight.

UsernameNotAvailableApparently · 09/10/2021 23:41

Ahhh my next guess was that he was a milkman.

Well that’s fair enough I guess. If he did actually have plans then I don’t see the issue.

Maves · 09/10/2021 23:42

Talk about drip feed what's the issue then

WhatAShilohPitt · 09/10/2021 23:42

So he didn’t say he had later plans, but during the date just spring it on you that he’d be heading off without you to be there at 12? I personally think that’s a bit thoughtless and rude! It impacts your plans if you’d fully expected the date to have continued until later. It’s a bit odd to have a plan at midnight though - are you sure it wasn’t just an excuse to bail out? Tiredness etc?

TheChip · 09/10/2021 23:43

He had plans at midnight so ended the date at 12pm? Leaving him with hours to prepare for his plans?
Or do you mean he had plans for midnight, so ended the date at midnight? Which means his plans couldn't have been for midnight, otherwise he would have left before midnight

Original poster
cocavino · 09/10/2021 23:43

How is that a drip feed? I have never known anyone to make plans after midnight???

OP posts:
Original poster
cocavino · 09/10/2021 23:44

Date ended at 11. His next plans at 12. I am nearly home. He followed up with a message about having an amazing time Confused

OP posts:
MattHancocksSexTape · 09/10/2021 23:44

There’s a boxing match on overnight too.

jelly79 · 09/10/2021 23:45

So you went on date 3 and he then said he had to go as he had plans to go to a party?

I don't think there is an issue there? He actually has probably left it to as late as possible to go so better that than him not being able to go on the date

What puts you off?

TheChip · 09/10/2021 23:45

He might have told his mates he would catch up with them after his date. Clubbing is usually after midnight and people plan to do that, so people do make plans for after midnight. Bootycalls are usually also after midnight.

Original poster
cocavino · 09/10/2021 23:45

And he required travel time to get to the venue

OP posts:
UsernameNotAvailableApparently · 09/10/2021 23:46

What time did the date start and what did you do? Did YOU have a nice time (before the 11pm ending)?

I think maybe you’re focusing on the wrong things OR you just don’t really like him and want an excuse to sabotage?

Yummypumpkin · 09/10/2021 23:47

This sounds fine to me. Whether he was going home to listen to a fishing podcast or going clubbing...he had a date with you and he has a life outside of someone he's met three times.

Saoirse82 · 09/10/2021 23:49

@TheChip

He had plans at midnight so ended the date at 12pm? Leaving him with hours to prepare for his plans? Or do you mean he had plans for midnight, so ended the date at midnight? Which means his plans couldn't have been for midnight, otherwise he would have left before midnight
This
Original poster
cocavino · 09/10/2021 23:50

@UsernameNotAvailableApparently i had a nice time with him.

OP posts:
UsernameNotAvailableApparently · 09/10/2021 23:52

So concentrate on that @cocavino - reply you also had an amazing time, hope that he has a great time with his friends, and that you’re looking forward to seeing him again.

Then hope it’s fourth date lucky Wink