To think this is weird after a 3rd date?

[cocavino]

We kissed heavily on date 2. On date 3, he had plans at midnight, thus necessitating ending the date at 12pm???

He followed up with a text about what a great time he had.

I'm a bit put off.

I don't understand this at all.

are you saying you walked away with nothing from a jointly owned house, with your child, as your ex was abusive?

Why didn't you pursue it legally? even now?

and I don't understand how he can block a house purchase now.

How is he doing that exactly? Even if he is a solicitor, if you are divorced and earn your own money, what is he doing?

I think you need a red hot divorce lawyer and a solicitor on your case.

This isn't right.

It's 2021. as a single woman, how is a man who is your ex, stopping you buying a house now? Is he paying towards it as maintenance and is that something to do with your credit rating re a mortgage?

No, I received a settlement (an unfairly small one, because unfortunately it wasn't worth litigating). However, he has found a way to retain some control over it (which he is abusing) That's really irrelevant though. The key is that he is abusing this control. I have a solicitor and I have the situation under control to the extent possible. That doesn't mean it doesn't take a toll.

It sounds like a very difficult situation.

Is there any chance he is in here?

In which case I would ask for your name change fail posts to be deleted.

I hope you get peace from him

Can you report him to the law society?

They take a very dim view of his abuse of position.

I read a case of this a couple of years ago and he was severely publicly reprimanded.

Worth contacting them to check out and perhaps they might have advice.

It might soften his cough.

Censure by them is a big stick.

Update: the ex stopped interfering after some intervention by my solicitors. Yay! (I knew this would probably happen, but it's been nail bitingly stressful).

I told the guy that it would be nice to leave the door open to be friends. He basically said to let him know if I feel ready to date again someday.

By you approaching the law society directly, they will review HIS actions.

Please ask your solicitor about this.

Why haven't they suggested this?

You don't need a solicitor to report him.

@billy1966 I don't think it does anyone any good to firebomb his career. I rely on CMS. If he can't be a solicitor, he would be even more of a dick and my daughter would have a worse material situation visiting him. It would become a thing where I would have to give evidence or something.

You know best, but if he is causing havoc for you, surely the threat of reporting him and causing his actions to be peer reviewed might give him pause for thought?

Just think about it and ask your solicitor.

Its highly unlikely he would lose his licence but the spotlight on him would undoubtedly be embarrassing and unwelcome.

Ah, i am on that. He kept sending harassing emails and my solicitor suggested I threaten a non molestation order (which also would have a terrible impact on a solicitor). Worked pretty well for reducing unwanted contact!

Good for you.

@cocavino

I actually have admitted to having a bruised ego: (though separately I want to feel that I am attractive and my ego is slightly bruised from his apparent lack of interest in me physically)

I'm aware of the risk of overcorrecting.

A lot of things have been going really wrong in my life lately and I am struggling to cope. I have not meant to suggest that I am perfect or anything.

I do still fundamentally think it's a bit weird and rude of this guy intentionally to plan something at midnight after this date and not communicate it in advance. I think it's perfectly natural that this caused me to feel deflated. I don't think it makes him a bad person, but it suggests that he may be emotionally tone deaf and/or that he's not that into me.

I don't think not being into me is a crime, but that's also disappointing. I feel utterly worthless right now and I don't necessarily need to carry on seeing someone who is not that bothered.

How do you know that he didn't alter his plans to go to the leaving party to meet you therefore sidelining his friends?

@neverknowinglyunreasonable

I have a theory. Did he turn up in a coach shaped like a pumpkin?

Maybe he's just respectful of you and felt he didn't want to overstep the mark!