My daughter doesn’t have a bedroom-is this bad

[Thoseshoulderslookace]

Dd, 3, sleeps in our room/bed, all her toys are downstairs..everywhere, plus in the garden etc. We have one extra bedroom that’s used as a spare room currently for when people come to stay. We’re getting it ready to be her bedroom, but it’s taking so long because it’s so expensive! Saving back a bit each month to decorate it all fully, buy the bed, shelves, chair, rugs, decorations etc etc.
Is it shit that she doesn’t have her own room yet? Feel so bad about it 🥲

It doesn't need decorating. It presumably has a bed in it if people come to stay - just make it tidy, put some pictures on the wall that she likes and get her excited about her big girl room. Bit mean for a 3 year old not to have her own room.

no its fine. She will have a lovely room one day soon, and she is too young for it to be a big deal right now

Don't feel bad!why would you?you're doing your best.

(of course not mean for a 3 year old not to have her own room if there aren't enough rooms, but bit mean to keep it for other random people)

Just put her in it! She just needs a bed! Everything else can come when you can afford it.

I don’t think it’s terrible but I do think if you have the room then she should have the option of her own room. It doesn’t need to cost much. Just buy a bed and you have a bedroom. We got a lovely bed second hand on Facebook. None of my children have decorated bedrooms, we rent so they have cream walls.

We have a 3 bed house with 3 DC, one teen, one tween and a toddler. Our toddler will be in with us for a few more years. I don't feel bad about it, it's all she's known and she enjoys creeping into our bed at night.
Our sex life is almost non existent though unfortunately.

She probably prefers to be with you anyway.

Why can’t she have it now? Surely rugs/shelves/decorations can come later?

My 4 year old still sleeps in my room but for other reasons , it’s fine

She doesn't need a special bed, just get a bed guard to stop her falling out and a toy box for the toys.

I'm sure she is happy with the situation as it is. Don't feel bad about it.

I think it's fine but I don't know why you're bothering so much with the decorating. surely you can just move her in without a rug etc and do that bit by bit?

If it's a spare room, does it have a bed? You can start with her putting her pictures on the wall and decorate in time. Although saying that, it's OK if she wants to sleep in your room.

Does she care really? Do you?
If she is happy and you're ok with her sharing with you, don't stress about it! We lived in a one bedroom flat till my daughter was three and she didn't care and neither did we particularly! She was looked after and loved, and even had lots of material things like toys and nice trips out. So total non issue.
We moved when she was 3 and she had her own room then, but she wasn't massively fussed by it.

Though I probably shouldn't tell you that at 10.5 she is still keen on coming into our room to sleep, at least not if you would like her to move out at some point!

Frankly though if she and you are all happy it's absolutely fine!

Of course it’s fine. Sharing is more of an issue for you as adults than for her, she’s only.
And of course it’s not ‘mean’! If she was 13 and not 3 then maybe….
Know kids she’ll probably hate not sleeping with you!

It’s not bad really but it really doesn’t take months of saving to do a kids room.

Facebook swap/marketplace you can get a nice bed and drawers etc

IKEA for some cheap storage

B&M or the Range for a couple of Tins of paint and rollers, some fairy lights (2 or 3 quid a box, lampshade for a tenner and duvet cover for even less than that.

Really it doesn’t cost a lot if you wanted to make her her own space for her toys and things. It’s nice for them to have somewhere to go and nice for you to be able to sit at night watching a film with your partner without toys everywhere like you live in a preschool

Are you happy with her sleeping with you ?

Why are you waiting to put her in? So long as it’s clean and safe it doesn’t have to be perfect. You can buy really good quality furniture secondhand then dunelm for curtains/bedding etc. New mattress £100. Shouldn’t have to cost much more than £500 total. Upgrade as she gets bigger and develops her own style and tastes.

People are always getting rid of toddler beds and furniture on Facebook marketplace for very little, we gave ours away for free because it had been through both children but it was still in great condition. I bought my daughter's wardrobe and matching chest of drawers off there for about £20 and it's still fine now that she's nearly 9. A £20 Billy bookcase from IKEA and you're good to go. Ikea is brilliant for children's bedroom bits, and they don't need to cost a fortune. Her toys in there will make it homey and lovely!

No, it's lovely! She must feel so safe and secure in your bed every night, what a great start to life.

How come it's suitable for guests, but not your child?!

DS2 first bed was our spare double bed. He moved in with us if we had guests.
Toddlers don't need you to buy them this kind of stuff. Presumably you already have a bedroom with a bed in it. Put her books and a few toys in there. Hey presto, she has a bedroom.

@pianolessons1 Mean?

Most 3 year olds play with their toys downstairs and love snuggling up to their parents in bed, so I wouldn’t feel bad in her behalf. The only thing I would worry about is that the longer you leave putting her into a separate room to sleep, the harder she is likely to find the transition.