My daughter doesn’t have a bedroom-is this bad

[Thoseshoulderslookace]

Dd, 3, sleeps in our room/bed, all her toys are downstairs..everywhere, plus in the garden etc. We have one extra bedroom that’s used as a spare room currently for when people come to stay. We’re getting it ready to be her bedroom, but it’s taking so long because it’s so expensive! Saving back a bit each month to decorate it all fully, buy the bed, shelves, chair, rugs, decorations etc etc.
Is it shit that she doesn’t have her own room yet? Feel so bad about it 🥲

I don’t get this. You get bed rails. Buy two. Put her in her own room.
That’s it. It’s her room if she sleeps in it. It will be homey to her.
Three year olds don’t care about rugs or decoration or whatever.

I mean if you want her in your room that’s fine. But to not let her sleep there because a perfectly functional room isn’t decorated is a bit strange.
Surely her stuff is currently somewhere- there must be a bookcase with her books. A small chest of drawers with her stuff? Just move those things into her room.

Don't bother with a toddler bed as they will need a standard bed soon. If you want her to have a single instead of a double just buy the mattress and put it in the floor if you are worried about her falling (or use a bed guard). My daughter has fallen out of bed a few times but never hurt herself she mostly just got straight into bed herself before we even got to her.

I would put all her toys in the room, that will make it look more like a child's room, (and your house will be tidier), as pp said she just needs a bed. When you have the money get a sofa bed downstairs for guests. She can still sleep in your bed if that suits, but she will have her own space when she wants it.

It’s totally fine. All around the world children share rooms with their parents as a total norm and are absolutely fine! Don’t worry in the slightest.

If she’s anything like either of mine she’ll still be in your bed when she has her own room.

You could make existing room beautiful for probably much less than you are thinking.

Paint the walls a lovely very subtle pink or lilac. Get a matching coloured duvet cover and bed rails for the double bed, honestly at 3 a toddler bed is an absolute waste of money, plus a double would be useful for you or your DH to bunk in with her if the other is sick or DD is ill herself.

Wall stickers can be quite cheap on eBay/Amazon/IKEA and they really transform a room.

I noticed you said you are abroad? Do you have an IKEA. We bought one of their wardrobes and a chest of drawers for DS bedroom a few years ago which are still going strong. They also do lovely colourful rugs, chairs and tables and lovely little accessories in their children’s department for really reasonable prices.

Remember kids don’t need lavish and expensive to think a room is beautiful!

[quote Thoseshoulderslookace]@alexdgr8 I’m not wanting the best decor and didn’t say I was painting on the wall, but it does obviously need a toddler bed, shelves, carpet, wardrobe, chair, table, done decorations etc[/quote]
A chair and a table? She needs a bed

It's fine from her perspective. I'm sure she loves sharing.

From yours, she may prove difficult to dislodge now that she's become a feature in your room.

Toddler beds are a waste of money.

Straight into normal beds.

Just as likely to fall out of a normal bed as a toddler bed

@MrsWhites Yes, we’ve got an IKEA, I was actually thinking just to get credit there and just get it all in one go and sort it

@Goldbar My thinking was to have this amazing new room to tempt her in

Our three year old sleeps with us and his room is just a big playroom. I really don't think you should feel bad. You little one is too little to worry about whether or not they have their own room.

OP keep the double bed! Our DD (8) has been in once since she was 3. It's a godsend to be honest. When she's sick or can't sleep we can easily sleep in with her.

[quote Thoseshoulderslookace]@MrsWhites Yes, we’ve got an IKEA, I was actually thinking just to get credit there and just get it all in one go and sort it[/quote]
They do a lovely cream rug with different coloured buttons all over it that looks lovely in a child’s room.

If you need storage buy one of their cheap shelving units (I think about £15) and paint it to match the room. I did this with my daughters room and once her things were on it you would never have known.

People use the IKEA spice racks as mini book displays on the wall, they would fill out some wall space too.

The money you could save on a bed could add lovely touches to make the room beautiful!

@Thoseshoulderslookace

Dd, 3, sleeps in our room/bed, all her toys are downstairs..everywhere, plus in the garden etc. We have one extra bedroom that’s used as a spare room currently for when people come to stay. We’re getting it ready to be her bedroom, but it’s taking so long because it’s so expensive! Saving back a bit each month to decorate it all fully, buy the bed, shelves, chair, rugs, decorations etc etc. Is it shit that she doesn’t have her own room yet? Feel so bad about it 🥲

Both my kids have their own rooms. But usually sleep in our room anyway. So meh. It doesn’t matter

My father grew up with 26 people in a two up. Two down. End of the war. His house was one of the only ones left in the street so they took everyone in.

Things happen. ❤️

Why do you need a toddler bed? She'll be out of that soon. My DD went straight into a double bed and was absolutely fine

[quote Thoseshoulderslookace]@alexdgr8 I’m not wanting the best decor and didn’t say I was painting on the wall, but it does obviously need a toddler bed, shelves, carpet, wardrobe, chair, table, done decorations etc[/quote]
The double bed is fine. She's unlikely to fall out of it - does she fall out of your bed?- but put a duvet/alternative on the floor for protection in case she does. Or buy/borrow the bed guard.

Doesn't need shelves. Doesn't need a carpet ... a rug would be nice but not essential. Doesn't need chair or table. Presumably her clothes are stored somewhere currently so they can stay there until you can get a wardrobe. Then you can have the excitement of choosing one with her later on. When you can afford it you can have the excitement of helping her to choose some fresh new paint. Put some of her own paintings or drawings up on the walls.

If not now ... then at some point probably before she starts school. Unless the culture of the country you're in is very different to the UK.

IKEA is the way forward for a rug. You don’t need much more at least initially.

Please don't use credit to buy these things. They're all non-essentials. Credit should be saved for absolute emergencies. Like car repairs for a car needed for work. Although ideally a small amount of money should be set aside each month to go towards an emergency funds pot.

You don't need to spend £500. My daughters have a £20 rug off the Internet, some wall stickers and curtains that were bought when my eldest was a baby (fairly inoffensive so have aged well).

I feel a bit bad that they are still sharing at 6 and 9- we're mid extension and they will soon have separate room , but neither has ever complained

It's not great. Ask for a single bed or toddler bed on Freecycle, pop it in there, and you can furnish it bit by not. She lives there all the time and would probably like her own space.

I don’t think it’s bad at all that she hasn’t got her own room yet if that works for you. I do think the comment about the cost and saving up is a bit daft tho, you’ve had over 3 years! If you havnt been able to spare any money in that time then that’s fine but you really don’t need a table, chair, shelves etc because you can’t afford it, just let her have what you’ve got. Her clothes presumably already go in something so she doesn’t need a new wardrobe. It sounds like you are waiting to fill the room with things that you want. She doesn’t need a super impressive room she just needs a happy home which it sounds like she already has. And saving for a toddler bed at this point is pointless, shel be too old for it by the time you buy it.

[quote Thoseshoulderslookace]@alexdgr8 I’m not wanting the best decor and didn’t say I was painting on the wall, but it does obviously need a toddler bed, shelves, carpet, wardrobe, chair, table, done decorations etc[/quote]
Don’t know if that would help but dc1 was in a double bed at that age with some bedrail on each side (you can find some for double beds).

Maybe that would allow you to still use the double bed until you are getting her her own bed?

She's still very young so I don't think it's a big issue. I would personally have put her in her own room even if there's just her bed in there. A nice duvet cover and a nice shade of colour paint can be very cheap.

@LuchiMangsho

I don’t get this. You get bed rails. Buy two. Put her in her own room. That’s it. It’s her room if she sleeps in it. It will be homey to her. Three year olds don’t care about rugs or decoration or whatever.

I mean if you want her in your room that’s fine. But to not let her sleep there because a perfectly functional room isn’t decorated is a bit strange.

Surely her stuff is currently somewhere- there must be a bookcase with her books. A small chest of drawers with her stuff? Just move those things into her room.

This. ^

To have your 3 year old daughter share your room and bed, and keep the second bedroom in your house for 'guests' is a bit wrong IMO. She should be starting to become independent now, and have her own bedroom. She should not be sleeping with mum and dad.

As for 'she must feel so secure, what a great start in life' as a pp said, well, yeah if she is less than 6 months old, but not 3 YEARS old. She's not an abandoned puppy who needs security and reassurance that she is wanted and needed.

Moreover, that suggests that anyone who puts their child(ren) into their own room from the onset, will have children who are insecure. What a load of tosh to suggest the child will feel soooo much more secure and loved sharing mum and dad's bed, when she is nearly old enough to go to school. A child in its own room and bed will feel just as secure, and just as loved.

Get her in her own room now @Thoseshoulderslookace It's a slippery slope letting children share your room and bed. You will probably struggle to ever get her to sleep in her own bedroom if you leave it much longer! She needs her own space and so do you. I don't understand at ALL why your DD is still sharing your bed at 3 years of age. And I don't understand why so many people are supporting it, and championing it.

It needs to stop now. She needs her own room. Saying you can't afford to do her room up is nonsense. It's had guests in it, and as has been said, the extra bedroom already has a bed, so it will be good enough for your daughter to sleep in.

If you want it to be less plain, as a pp said, you do not have to spend £500. There's loads of stuff that's as cheap as chips in some shops. You say you live 'abroad' wherever that is, but I am sure you have 'cheap shops.' (Like B & M and Wilkos.)

You must think/know it's wrong for your 3 y.o. DD to be sharing your bedroom, and bed, or you would not have started the thread, and said you feel bad about it!